Recursion's Mumbai tourist sites list for anyone who goes

Last edited Sun May 22, 2016, 12:25 PM - Edit history (1)

So I'm closing up my 3 years here, and I thought I'd give The Definitive List (tm) of where I think you should go if you visit Maximum City.

Mumbai's actually light on kind of cliche tourist stuff compared to most of India (it wasn't really in existence until the 1700s for the most part, with some exceptions mentioned below). There isn't that much that's very old; no Taj Mahal and no Golden Temple.

I've ordered these roughly geographically. First, in Old Bombay (the city is now called "Mumbai" for political reasons but even the people who pushed that name change universally call the southern part of the city "Old Bombay&quot .

* The Gateway of India (landmark)

If there's a single iconic image of Mumbai, this is it: the Gateway of India. This was intended to greet King George V when he visited Bombay (as it was then called) in 1911, but construction was incomplete so he saw a cardboard facade. This sentence says a lot about this city. At any rate, it's a brilliant piece of monumental architecture.

* Elephanta Caves (landmark)

From the Gateway, you can take an hour ferry ride out to Elephanta island, to see the famous caves and sculptures there. They were carved between the 4th and 8th centuries AD (though a few of the chambers show signs of being significantly earlier). Beware of the monkeys.

* Mahesh Lunch Home (restaurant)

Americans almost never get exposed to Indian seafood, which is a travesty: this is in my opinion the best cuisine of India, and I think Mahesh is probably the best place to first encounter it. Order the tandoori crab, the pomfret bhuna hua, the mixed seafood ishtew, and appams (it's a kind of bread).

* Britannia & Co. (restaurant)

This is another Indian sub-cuisine that Americans almost never see (though there's a good place in Jersey called Fido's). Britannia is the oldest Parsee cafe in the city. The Parsees were Persian Zoroastarians who fled Iran when the Arab armies first invaded in the 800s AD; they settled in Gujarat and eventually found their way to Mumbai. Parsee food is fucking amazing. Order the fried bombay duck (it's actually a fish), the mutton sali bhoti, and the chicken berry pulau.

Also, talk to the old dude who owns it (he's 97 and is the third-generation owner). He has a love of all things British and will (without being asked) show you the picture of him meeting Elizabeth II as well as William and Kate. He's also a huge fan of Secretary Clinton, so if you go there before the election and he figures out you're American, he will talk your ear off about her. He is seriously adorable.

* Royal Talkies (arts)

The name says it all. This is one of the oldest surviving movie theaters in Mumbai; an old single-screen house that mixes a repertoire of Bollywood (and Hollywood) golden-age classics with new releases on Fridays and Saturdays. There's waiter service at your seat during the intermissions, which is awesome.

* Chowpatty beach (landmark)

This is the main beach of the old city, and is exactly what you'd expect from a beach in India: hot, crowded, and awesome. Get a vada pav (kind of like a burger but with a fried mashed potato patty) and an ice cream cone from a street vendor. Avoid the juice vendors if you don't want sprue (and you don't).

* Tower of Silence (landmark)

This is on Malabar Hill, near Chowpatty beach, a very posh area with some incredible high-end shopping opportunities (looking to get a Bentley? There's a showroom a block away). I mentioned the Parsees earlier: their funeral traditions preclude burial or cremation, and require exposing the remains to birds who eat away the flesh, after which the bones are interred in an ossuary. The pollution in Mumbai has driven many of the native eagles away, so the tower keeps an aviary of hawks and eagles to maintain their traditions.

Hurry, though: in addition to pollution and climate change, this site is threatened by demographic shifts. Parsee priests must marry parsees, and the community has dwindled so much that the current priest (an acquaintance of mine) has pretty much acknowledged that he won't be able to get married. And since the priesthood is hereditary...

* Victoria Terminus / Ride a Mumbai Train (landmark)

So, Bombay changed its name to Mumbai in 1994, and there are some people who take that very seriously. At the same time, this train station's name was changed to "Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus", and literally nobody takes that seriously at all (I've had cab drivers legitimately not know what I was talking about). It's "VT", "Victoria Terminus".

It opened in 1888 and now is a crucial stop in one of the busiest urban rail systems in the world. It is the end of both the Central and Harbour lines, and is a UNESCO world heritage site.

Now this next bit is scary, but if you're in Bombay you need to do this: get on a train from it. Yes, really. Millions of people do it every day. You can too.

Get in the line for the ticket counters, and when you get to the window say "masjid" and put down ten rupees. You'll get a ticket. Keep it on you. Turn around and walk to the farthest-left train platform, and wait for a train to come in. Now, bear with me: the trains don't have doors. That's why I'm not telling you to take a 20-stop journey (particularly not through a transfer station). Move to the center of the car (as much as possible), and then shove your way out when it stops at the next stop, Masjid. This will both take riding a Mumbai train off your bucket list, and get you to the next site:

* Crawford Market (shopping)

Kipling worked here as a boy. If it exists, it's sold here. If there's one place that encapsulates Bombay, it's this. Keep your wallet in your front pocket.

Next, girangaon ("mill town&quot and the docks. This is mid-town, between Old Bombay and the suburbs; the island starts getting wider here and more clearly divides between east and west (east is poorer, west is richer, as a rule of thumb; the train tracks you rode on above are the explicit dividing line). This was back in the day the commercial heart of the inner city, and was destroyed by factories shifting production overseas; it has since seen a redevelopment which has both greatly improved the quality of services in the neighborhood and drawn charges of gentrification (does any of this sound familiar?)

* Haji Ali Mosque and Tomb (landmark)

So I mentioned above that for the most part Mumbai is a fairly new city; this is an exception. It was always a useful port and refurbishing stop for trading ships (Ptolemy mentioned in in 160 AD, for instance). This mosque and tomb was constructed in 1431 AD for Sayyed Peer Haji Ali Shah Bukhari. It is one of the finest examples of Indo-Islamic architecture in the world.

The mosque is a quarter mile out into the bay, and is connected to the main island by a thin causeway that is submerged at high tide. So, visiting hours depend on tides, and (this is very important) if the police start shooing you back to the mainland that means you need to go right then or otherwise you'll be spending the night on the island. It's absolutely stunning. The guided tour is ₹100 (maybe $2) but isn't worth it (the guy was literally wrong about every single thing he said when I did it), but this being India you can give him ₹100 and tell him you'll ask if you want him, and then you can have an upsell-free walkabout yourself.

(Side note: this is actually an active mosque, so please don't wear shorts, and ladies please wear a shawl or headscarf; they don't enforce that, but it's polite.)

* Haji Ali Juice Centre (restaurant)

Where the causeway debouches with the main island is what has to be the most famous bar in Mumbai. But no alcohol is served here (at least not officially). It's a juice bar, where fresh fruit juices of all kinds are served from about 6am to about 2am, every day. This is a place where you can run into a Bollywood star sobering up from an afterparty or an Indian Central Bank governor getting a lassi after a meeting. The best thing to order depends wildly on what is in season: if you're there in May or June order mango juice; one of the few reliable year-round choices is sitafal (I think that's "custard apple" in the US) in "cream" (by "cream" they mean sweetened condensed milk). I'm also very, very fond of the carrot/beet juice combo, particularly on a hot day.

* Mahalakshmi Racecourse (landmark)

The Mahalakshmi racecourse is an active horseracing track, so if you're theyre on a day they are running races, you're in luck. You can get a general seating ticket for ₹50 (maybe a dollar), or a much nicer first-class seat for ₹500. You'll have to take space-available in the first-class area, but especially if you're there in the week that's never a problem.

If you go, bet on a horse. Just do it. Minimum bets are ₹100 and are done parimutuel. I won ₹10K off a ₹500 bet once. It's fun.

If it's not during the racing season, you can still visit the restaurants and shops, as well as walk around the course itself, which is pretty much the largest open green space in the city, with an absolutely stunning view of both Haji Ali and the Arabian Sea.

* Blue Frog/Mathuradas Mills (restaurant)

So let's say you've done those things in mid-town during the day. Where do you go out at night? Boy, do I have the answer for you: The Blue Frog. This is bar-none the hottest venue in Mumbai (I've seen both Skrillex and Deadmau5 there, for instance, along with a ton of Indian musicians). Think CBGB in New York in the early 1980s, for a comparison.

India in general starts stuff later than the US, so the opening acts generally won't even start until 10:30 or 11 (particularly on the weekends), and the headliners tend to go on until the police finally break up the club at 4 or 5 am (if you're a tourist, be out before then, just to make it easier on everybody).

If that kind of thing isn't your scene, but you still want a night out, you might want to slip away across the alley to Barking Deer, Mumbai's oldest brewpub. It's a much more laid back and chill dive-bar kind of atmosphere (the owner is a New Hampshirite married to an Indian journalist, who started this in his spare time and managed to essentially start a vibrant brewpub culture in the city).

* Palladium Mall (shopping)

This may not be for everyone, but if you're into it: the Palladium Mall is probably the posh-est shopping mall I've ever been to outside of the Emirates. There's a snow room (that's just what it sounds like), and pretty much every designer you can think of.

(Side note: don't buy prêt clothes in India, at least not if you're a guy: you can get a bespoke suit tailored to you for about $75, and it will be the best suit you've ever had. Just look for literally any tailor shop that advertises "western wear" anywhere in the city. I don't know enough about women's clothing to give any advice to the women.)

* Noor Mohammadi Hotel (restaurant)

So, stepping back from the crazy opulence of Palladium, above I listed some restaurants that might be a bit surprising to Americans, but not this: this is legit "Indian food" in the sense Americans are used to (which is to say, Northern Indian/Pakistani food). And it's the best thing you've ever eaten.

The "hotel" (that means "restaurant" here; "guest house" means what we mean by "hotel&quot is in Dongri, or as it's also called "Little Pakistan". It's the neighborhood in Mumbai with the highest percentage Muslim population. There are some amazing mosques. If you go to Noor Mohammadi, order Sanju Baba chicken, Malai chicken, and mutton kebab, along with enough chapattis and sodas to wash it down.

* Bhau Daji Laad Museum (museum and zoological gardens)

This was formerly the Victoria & Albert Museum. It's a museum of city history that is quite astounding. It includes some frankly awkward and embarrassing ethnographic studies, as well as some amazing pieces of the early Marathi empire. Also: the saddest zoo you've ever seen. Like, really sad.

* The Mills (landmark)

So. The mills. If one place encapsulates Mumbai's story, it's here. This is where I live, in a re-developed old mill.

When Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, Victoria and Palmerston had no options: public opinion would not allow them to continue to accept Confederate cotton. So they needed new sources. A Parsee entrepreneur (see above) named Dinshaw Manockjee Petit rose to the occasion, and founded the first cotton mill in Bombay.

These mills were the heart and soul of the most vibrant city in the world for 130 years. Then literally overnight they disappeared. The Great Bombay Textile Strike of 1982 was the first time Indian management called Indian labor's bluff: they literally moved out, overnight, and set up operation in Indonesia.

For an amazing semi-documentary about this time, look for "City of Gold" (an amazing Bollywood movie).

* Sewri Jetty / The Flamingos (landmark / nature)

Francis Scott Key, as is well known among Americans, wrote "The Star Spangled Banner" while imprisoned on a British warship during the siege of Baltimore. Less well known is that that ship, the HMS Minden, was built in Mumbai, part of the Ganges frigate class, commissioned to replace the Boston shipyards England had lost.

Sewri Jetty has been rebuilt several times since those days, but the location and purpose are roughly the same. It also has a biological wonder: Bombay's Flamingos. Immense flocks of the birds come to rest for a few weeks here during their migration in March and April every year.

* Dharavi

So, this one is controversial. Dharavi is the largest slum in the world. There are tours offered that let people ride in and get an idea of how the neighborhood works. On the one hand, it's povergraphy; on the other hand, it's getting money to the people who live there. Your call.

Dharavi has some of the highest density of human settlement in the world. If the entire world lived at the density of Dharavi, the entire world could live within the confines of Mumbai. (The entire world can't live at the density of Dharavi, though, so that is more a hypothetical point.)

Mumbai receives on average 500 immigrants a day. That's nearly 200K per year. This is why projections say this is going to be the largest city by 2025 or so. They don't, however, move to Dharavi. That's one thing you should understand. Dharavi is where they land after a 5 or 6 year waiting period of sleeping on sidewalks or temporary shelters. (Yes, there is in fact a waiting period to live in the slums here.)

If you don't want to do a tour for whatever reason, you can drive by the neighborhood along four different roads (just tell your cab driver "Drive me around Dharavi&quot . If nothing else, it will change your perspective about a lot of things.

Bandra and the suburbs:

Bandra is the first part of "suburban" Mumbai you'll come to. It's really nice.

* Mehboob Studios (arts)

This is a kind of neat side-trip; it's no longer an active studio, but they offer cool tours and some historic material, plus weekly cultural programs that are often quite amazing.

* Juhu beach (landmark)

This is farther up in the suburbs, but it's kind of the "nicer" version of Chowpatty. Again: get vada pav, and ice cream; avoid the juice.

* Bandstand (landmark)

This is roughly the Sunset Boulevard of Mumbai. Lots of Bollywood stars live along this strip, and there's even a "Walk of Fame".

* Sanjay Gandhi National Park (nature)

This one is interesting. It's way the hell north, but still technically within the city. Lions, tigers, bears, etc. (Not the lions, so much, but the rest are there.)

* Kanheri Caves (landmark)

And, finally, Kanheri: the Buddhist version of Elephanta. Another series of very early carved caves, but Buddhist rather than Hindu. These are in the middle of Sanjay Gandhi National Park, and are absolutely breathtaking. Note that you need to be able to climb some fairly steep stone stairs to get there; historical preservation precludes these being accessible, unfortunately.