So you are a sous-chef, now it makes sense. Hang in there, you are in a down time, but the angst you are generating will get you somewhere. Being unemployed is rough and looking to start a new relationship while being unemployed is rougher still.

Do the things you can, don't let yourself wait for things to happen for you, make a plan to do something everyday that gets you out and makes you happy. I know you have a pet, that is in your favor. The old wisdom is, if you can keep a plant alive, you can get a pet, if your pet thrives, you may be ready for a relationship.

The biggest thing about women, there may be one who sees and likes you right now, but you can't see her. Open your mind and heart. Good luck and

Happy Noodleboy, from Johnny The Homicidal Maniac by Johnen Vasquez.

Used to be my gamer name back in the 90's when i was rocking the Half-life world.

Thanks for the reply though.

Mr. Underfoot is doing fine, just got shots the other day. Did a 7 foot vertical leap in the vet's office when he escaped the improvised kitty carrier I had him in.

peace,
Noodleboy

That's all I got.

"The biggest thing about women, there may be one who sees and likes you right now, but you can't see her. Open your mind and heart."

I was once (getting older every minute) what is considered an above-average looking female. I used to be smart, too. Men don't understand that women like us can be shy and a little wary of men. I always fell for the awkward types that would stutter a little when they tried to talk to me, or drop their lighter, drink, etc. They didn't try to act a certain way or spend a fortune on clothes we don't give a damn about (neat and clean is enough).

Look in their eyes when you talk to them. I think you might be missing something.

30 years ago. I love Sam Elliot and James Spader. Unfortunately, I am much too old for you. Have you tried any of the online dating services?

The thing is, it's only recently that this has been bothering me, and it's because I started looking at the advice of friends. So every empty inbox, every visit to an account that's gathering dust is just reinforcing the idea that I'm undateable, unloveable and unfuckable.

I've basically gone emotionally feral; I'm very wary of people. If a pretty woman chats me up, I almost assume that I'm on candid camera or something.

peace,
Noodleboy

As far as theater goes, you don't have to be able to act; local theaters always need stage managers, backstage personnel, crew, costume fitters (helping actors into and out of their costumes; indispensible for roles with quick costume changes).

There are always more women than men in theater; lots of them are open, friendly, liberal, and fun-loving. Many of them are as shy as you, and who act to overcome their shyness.

Give it a try; and good luck!

But I should maybe try other bars.

peace,
Noodleboy

I didn't believe myself to be even attractive until I got my teeth fixed about five years ago. Before that, I wore oversized t-shirts and stretch pants and a frown that said leave me the eff alone. Now I've lost 30-plus pounds and have this incredible smile. Men check me out all the freaking time, but I don't have the first clue how to tell them to please pursue their interest. It's damn frustrating sometimes because some of them I think have definite potential.

I guess what I'm saying is don't give up.

I don't know about other men, but I loved it when a woman would ask me out. It suggested to me that she was strong-willed, and not afraid to go after what she wanted...

"Ask me out" or something like that. Would make things a lot simpler.

There's a local watering hole I just heard about that I may check out on a possible Friday night. Who knows?

Beware, though. Men are pigs. Be selective. Don't be afraid to postpone your first move.

I know, I know: seems like the exact opposite of what I advised in the previous post. Just don't go for sleazebags just because there are a lot of them out there. Don't settle...

are friendlier and healthier I think. Biking, Hiking, etc. Don't know where you live, but this looks good, maybe they have a club like this in your area. So much more interesting than sitting in a smoke filled bar. A group I belong to, wanted me to give art classes in my area.
You could do the same. Offer up your expertise in cooking, find some nutritious recipes and talk lots about the healthy aspect of eating and cooking great food. I am sure if you find a venue, lots of women would sign up. Check out Jamie Oliver, English chef, he's great and enthusiastic. Utilize your abilities, and excuse me, Stop dogging yourself.
Onward and Upward I say!

http://www.theadventurersclub.com/