I want a culture-jamming app.

Of course, I still don't have a smartphone. But, when I do, I would like an app that can do the following:

When activated, it will access a random restaurant somewhere, pull up a photo of one of their dishes, and then post some text. The text would be to note to my friends that I am not actually at said restaurant and not eating said dish.

"kentauros is not at Pico's Mex-Mex and is not enjoying this plate of traditional banana-leaf-wrapped and steamed tamales. Instead, he is enjoying his time unbeknownst to his friends at some undisclosed location."

The app could also access random images and add text such as:

"kentauros is not actually dodging traffic while on his roller-skates after all."

The point being to mock the ubiquitous applications of the smartphone with regards to FB and other social media. I did search to see if anyone had created a culture-jamming app, but it seems no one has created one, yet. So, if any of y'all can program that kind of thing, let me know. Plus, make it Android first. Besides, would Apple folks be so non-conformist anyway?