The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsI turned 51 today, my husband 62 yesterday
Not one call from a family member. The only family member that sent cards was her sister and she sent to both of us. My brother e-mailed me. Thank goodness for friends who remembered us. I'm done with sending out cards to those who don't give a hoot to return them to us.
In the past 3 years, both our Mothers died (mine 2 months ago), 3 close friends, my Father, and my Uncle. Tore my family apart (spearheaded by my Brother who's a Trump like idiot) and his family doesn't even talk to each other. We have no kids.
Worries me about who will handle our estate when we're gone. I refuse to give a penny to anyone we're related to and don't want to turn it over to a lawyer who will take more than what's left over. My husband built so much furniture here it hurts not having to give it to anyone. There is some money but we'll see how much lasts us for our retirement (5 years for him, 16 years for me).
God this hurts!
Sorry - you're the only ones I can share this with. Thanks for being our support. The DU IS our family.
Thanks
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)All of my family is gone.
My husband is a bit luckier. His mom and dad are gone but his daughter, son-in-law and two beautiful granddaughters are only an hour away.
petronius
(26,602 posts)(Sorry your relatives are such pills...)
Coventina
(27,125 posts)You can make arrangements to leave your estate to the charity(ies) of your choice.
It is worth the attorney's fees to have the peace of mind.
My husband and I are pretty much in the same position as you: no children of our own and no nieces and nephews worthy of our lives' work.
We don't have much, but our house and possessions are worth a couple hundred grand when sold.
Regarding your retirement accounts: keep in mind that you could be wiped out by a bus tomorrow, and who would get the money then?
So prior planning is worth it.
I'm sorry you are hurting. Having hateful family hurts, I know.
femmocrat
(28,394 posts)You are still young and a lot can change. Best wishes.
Phentex
(16,334 posts)I think it's just the way people are these days. I'm not on Facebook but that's how people send greetings it seems. I still send actual paper cards. I don't expect them back but a phone call would be nice.
Rhiannon12866
(205,552 posts)And wishing you many, many, many more!
a kennedy
(29,675 posts)shenmue
(38,506 posts)question everything
(47,488 posts)Ah, to be 51..
Seriously, I've found out that members of the family have their own families, jobs, are busy and I've long stopped expecting everyone to remember. Funny, my spouse, who has Facebook, got several well wishing on a recent birthday. I guess this fact is on Facebook?
Just realize that this is part of the - dare I say it? - growing old. Enjoy each other. This is what it counts. And, as suggested above - do consult an estate attorney. Tomorrow!
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,642 posts)You can even leave off the year.
It's a very cool way to be remembered.
we can do it
(12,189 posts)Sounds a lot like our families....
Remember friends are the family you choose.