How far do you want me to go? Light buzz, strong buzz, or pass me a bucket to puke in.

I'm man enough to do my own puking...

I'm starting with passion fruit juice and vodka along with a THC buzz.

I'll let you monitor misspellings, bad grammar, incomplete sentences and other incoherent ramblings through the rest of the night.

I'm very moved...

Try Vietnamese iced coffee. It's about half sweetened condensed milk and half very strong espresso, over ice. It'll wind you up like meth, and it tastes really good as well.

But you know what kind of a buzz I'm referring to...

assuming you don't mind bouncing around the room like a ping-pong ball.

My goal is to be inert...

Do you realize how much could transpire between now and next Thursday!?!?

And you'll have to face it all, starkly unbuzzed.

The horror...the horror!

Worst fifteen minutes of my life...

Army Staff Duty Officer for long weekend tours. And Next of Kin notifications for a week at a time.

I used to be on call a week at a time every other week. (That was fun) . Now I'm on call about a forth of my life instead of half of my life. Much better.

If someone has a medical issue when the clinic is closed, they call me (or whoever else is pulling call). I don't have to go to a hospital or anything. I just wait at home for someone to call me, and get paid for it. Not bad as far as that goes.

Most of the time, it's just medication refill requests from people who don't seem to understand that the time for doing that is when the clinic is open.

Frequent calls from panicky new parents who insist that their infant's little sniffle is somehow life-threatening.

Occasionally I get a call from someone with an issue that would clearly be an emergency to any other person, but somehow, they've put off going to the ER. I assess their symptoms, and refer them to the ER as appropriate.

Stuff like that.

The life of a medical provider. At least I'm not an MD. For an MD, call means frequently having to go to the hospital in the middle of the night to deal with a serious medical issue.

Not a bad gig. But I can't drink while on call.

I'm a general surgeon...I've been pulling call for so long that it's become a part of me! In fact, our kids have learned my call schedule to the point that, if I'm on call , my son, who is seven, knows that he can sleep in the bed with mom and the next day he and my daughters, who are teenagers, know that "Dad's in a bad mood...let him sleep" when I get home from rounds!

Things like this are why I drink...

Call is shitty no matter what!!! No need to diminish yourself because I damn sure couldn't do my job as efficiently as I do without my nurse and PA! As they say in the Navy "Choose your rate, Choose your fate"! I knew what being a surgeon would entail when I started down this path, call's just part and parcel to the job. (Throwing back the last bit of my whiskey for you my friend!!)

...to prescribe antibiotics over the phone. I hate doing that and have found very effective way to dissuade parents from this is to say, "Well, that is possible, but I need you to know that the very best I can do over the phone is to guess (at your child's diagnosis), and I would hate to guess wrong for your child." That usually shuts it down.

Anther major annoyance is people who will put in a call to the answering service 15 minutes after our phones are put on service on Friday afternoon, and then tell me about a problem their child has had all week.

Or those that have you "emergency" paged, and then don't answer the phone when you call.

..."upgraded," and it totally sucks even worse than before. We are on EPIC (which I recall you either also use, or have used.) Everything has been moved around, and the note writing section is completely screwed up. It opens in a wide column, but then, when you want to actually write something in it, is switches to a really narrow column that is really awkward to read, and it dislays the note template from the bottom up, showing the assessment and plan section first, instead of the CC/HPI/ROS. WTH???

Scroll heavy, and click heavy.

I don't know whose not-so-brilliant idea this was. Probably someone who doesn't actually use it in real life.

n/t

Bless you for being sober, drinking into the early am and then off to grab a few fresh veggies at the FMkt.
Take care.

I never feel blessed when I'm sober. I feel blah.

If it weren't for work, I'd try to stay safely shitfaced until he is out of there...

No calls yet, two days in.

That usually means I'll get one in the middle of the night tonight or tomorrow.

Counting the days until I can again...

A bit of time without wine won't kill you.

No beer?

But wine gets me buzzed faster than beer, and gives me less of a hangover than the hard stuff.

Wine gives me the fiercest hangovers... beer does not provided I keep it within the same general style.

L-

I guzzle a lot of water before going to bed. It lessens the severity of the hangover.

It's the sugar which gets me...

Many years of experimentation have shown this. However, you are right about hydration.