I am 87 and still live alone. I cannot live any other way.

First, let me congratulate you on your obviously good genetics, environments, lack of major medical calamities. This may be luck but a lot of us feel like it is because we are good or deserving.

I come from a heritage that tends to have long lifespans. One of my grandmothers lived to see each of her three children die before her. And of course loss of friends as we age, especially since we tend to be a bit more insular, is difficult.

Still, I don't think I'd want it any other way.

I knew a lady who moved into an assisted living facility in Texas a few years ago.
She sold a lot of her stuff on eBay.

Wishng you both good health and good luck in your move.

We will also have an estate sale. I know my neighbors would help. Or maybe we could hire someone to help out.

Thanks for the reminder!

I've been around that for years and their are sone real dirt bags in that business. Remember it's not about establishing a relationship. You'll only deal with them once.

They can recommend tried and true local vendors to help with almost anything related to your home sale and move, including an estate sale pro. If you need assistance finding a real estate pro, pm me. I'm licensed in three states.

This one is clear and concise and points out the most important pitfalls.

http://www.consumersdigest.com/special-reports/the-truth-about-estate-sales

Hope it helps. If you choose that route, get everything in writing and check out the agents.

Estate Sales are largely unregulated in most states, which makes it difficult to find any recourse if you have a bad agent.

Here's the most important paragraph in the article:

We would love to tell you that you can take concrete steps to protect yourself from an unscrupulous or an inexperienced estate-sale agent, but even the most helpful advice that experts pass along can’t guarantee that you won’t run into problems. Unfortunately, if you get ripped off by an estate-sale agent, you should know that, even under the best of circumstances, trying to get your money back can be a losing proposition.

I went to a few. The monitors had priced the items. At one there was all this foreign language going on. I think the pricers set low prices for their friends and family that showed up.

I think one would do better to downsize slowly over the years via eBay or perhaps even consignment shops. If you don't control the marketing and the price, you don't control the bottom line.

Good luck finding the right place for you and your husband!

I would go and help. My superpower is packing. I actually like to do it.

I helped a friend and her mother pack up to move from NYC to a place called MasoniCare in the Mystic-area.

getting around, but the place is too much for us to keep up anymore. It's in town with almost an acre of land, two 30x50 garages, one heated with water and a hobby shop for cars, the other empty, an extra shed and a 4 bedroom house. Really don't need this much "stuff".

the other 1/3 trying to get rid of it! All the best to you...my husband and I are in the process of getting rid of stuff. Young people are not collectors like our generation was...smart on the their part.

a friend has been cleaning out her house for a few years, donating, recycling, etc and she's overwhelmed. I can't say I'm a collector but I was thinking about stuff like kitchen stuff, photos, camping equipment, cd and books. Yes, we're still using much of this but it would be a bear for my kids to deal with. They aren't going to want or need boxes of photos from my college days and now it's just taking up space.

I think I'm going to downsize as much as possible while I can.

into 6 boxes (one for each kid and grandkid). I am looking forward to my box arriving.

I'm thinking of making some photo books too so I can consolidate them even more. They have forgotten about various places we took them and I think they would get a kick out of seeing them later on. I recently had old videos put on thumb drives and that was fun!

Now I am scanning the family photos and putting them online. I'm not sure who will end up with the physical photos but online all my siblings and their kids can enjoy them.

When Dad's mother died in 1969, the photos, albums, and family papers were split between him and his brother. Now we have things the brother's kids have never seen and they have stuff we've never seen. If we'd all put those things online we could all see them!

Some things, such as my grandmother's journal of her first year (1925) in Florida living in a company town, are now in the state archives. The scans are available to anyone so my cousins, who never knew it existed, can read it, and people who are interested in the relevant history can study it.

His kids are nowhere near to us to take any of it. It's going to be sad for him to let these items go...

and physically. Also have much inherited from my parents, grandparents, and even great grandparents - and so much weaving and fiber arts from my mom.

Best of luck. Not easy, but sounds like you're making a wise decision to do this now.

And I don't want more stuff. I'm looking at moving cross country in 1-2 years and plan on taking only what fits in a car. I'm slowly selling things off and using things up to prepare for it.

Sold her house, moved her into independent living, to rehab center, to nursing home, then to assisted living, she went there kicking and screaming. She died three years ago I've still got some her stuff to disperse. However I'm planning to start downsizing earlier than she did, so I can make the decisions instead of my daughter choosing for me.

fall. She gave away a mountain of things and we filled a dumpster. She and her husband saved everything they ever had, including broken appliances. Both of them are gone now and my house is stuffed with all the good pieces.

Good luck.

your place. The Assisted Living staff have knowledge of such folks (in their best interests to do so!).

Very reputable.
I don't know where you live but I am assuming CT.

but good luck. It can be overwhelming. I think I would be happy in assisted living but my husband hates the idea. Wish you and yours the best.

Just cover all the wall space with it the way Dorothy and Herbert Vogel did!

Good luck with your transition.

I have some interesting old movie posters I framed and I have one painting that might iinterest some folks...

But, like the vogels, we have more than we have wall space for.

My wife and I are also trying to down-size. A lot of that stuff is hard to part with.

I do have a poster that I will take with me....it's the one from the 1983 America's Cup 25 and has two boats on it, done exquisitely. My husband has some artwork depicting places in Door County, WI. that we acquired when we were spending time in his parents house every summer. That house is to be sold and he and his sister will split the profiit. I think he will probably get $150,000 because that property has grown in what people will pay for it.

You can only fit so much furniture in a new, smaller space. Filling up the walls helps to make it feel more like home.

posters and when we split I took this one.

Depending on the size of the walls I may take it with me. Where can I find out the prices of these posters?

Their taste in art isn't my favorite but still--WOW!! How cool!

Even though you might not have room to display it physically, you can make a slideshow of your art and keep it on a digital picture frame in the new place.

Once my aunt and uncle settled into their assisted living place, they wished they had moved 10 years earlier.

Ten years ago I was way more active and my mobility and memory issues weren't problems.

And that you find the best, most honest, kindhearted people!

I like hearing that you're looking forward to the new digs.

they sure were nice and the facility I toured.

Just do plenty of research. I wonder if you can talk with some people who live there, get the real lowdown? That's usually a good idea.

Hubby prolly won't want to go....

If you do go for lunch, look for yourself at what is on the menu and what is served. My 91 yr old Mom is in a really nice assisted living place in the bay area of CA. Due to her medical needs it's pretty pricey, and thankfully due to the sale of her home she can afford to live there for now.

Anyway, when I visit I often will walk down to lunch/dinner with her and stay while she orders and the other residents get seated. I swear, every time I go I hear them complain about the food--it's either too bland, too much seasoning, pieces are too big, I didn't want it cut up, etc etc. And I am looking at what they are eating and it's excellent fare! We're not talking about cat food here!! I know, they may have lost some sense of taste, etc. But it makes me laugh every time. I did hear one lady saying 'this food is really good' over and over. The point is, if you do chat with residents be open minded about their comments, esp about the food!

And she still complains. Their worlds get small, and it's one of the few things they can complain about - again and again.

At 92, she was still living alone. It took a bad fall and surgery and we said "That's it." Fortunately, we've had 2 years to clear out the house. My advice - hand major tasks over to your children - "I trust your judgment." Best of luck to you. This is a hard and traumatic time. Be kind to yourselves.

My son is a prosecutor in the Brooklyn DA's office. If no trials are set for a time and he can get family leave. For my daughters it is not that much of a deal.

Yeah, I'm going forward. I''m really tired.

You can report back to him.

It is overwhelming but you are doing it together and are making this decision together, which is so important. With my mom, my dad had a stroke and passed suddenly - they were not the type to look ahead, and had no plans - the whole thing was one of the more difficult memories of my life (and my brother's life) as we guided my mom to as good a situation as was possible.

Your memories, and each other - that is most important. May you find something that works out well for you both, and may you have many more happy years together.

all the best wishes!

I'm glad we still have each other. I love him very much.

i'm so glad you have your children to help you.

My other daughter is in Sherborn MA. My son lives in NYC.

BREATHE!

Did you downsize...I think I recall learning that but my memory sucks.

and separated in '06. Have some 'significant' remnants, sorry doesn't include my old camera! and been kind of rebuilding, and living 'alone' and with a friend, so downsizing won't be a very big deal for me. The biggest will be if/when I have to move from my riverside home. Daughters have both suggested I live with them 'then,' so we'll see.

best wishes! Your presence here is appreciated!

It'll be fun dismantling and remantling the computer...NOT...

Always hoping for the best for you & yours.

to let go of a lifetime of memories associated with all your heirlooms and art.

We have neighbors who lived in their house for 50 years who moved to a retirement facility not long ago. He was a professor
who had kept every copy of every journal he ever read! She would go around the neighborhood asking if she could put stacks
of journals in neighbor's recycle bins so they wouldn't overflow their own bin!

You are fortunate to have kids who will come and help and good for you for letting them!

I wish you and your hubby well.

Hopefully your kids will be able to keep the heirlooms and rememberances so it remains in the family

You are moving into a new experience, and hopefully it will provide a well deserved change from the rat race

All the best to you

Places. Some of the folks I deal with are ready to part with their stuff. Others don't want to part with stuff they never use.

I would suggest starting to get boxes to put in your most important stuff and move on. One lady had 10 large platters she was never gonna to cook a big thanksgiving dinner again. When we got to the assisted living place and saw how small her kitchen was she gave them to us to donate. We made her keep her favorite one. But pick an area and put that 1 or 2 items that you love and have family take what they want, have a garage sale and donate the rest.

I could make a little money off some of the stuff that I have to give up. Mostly dining room furniture. I'm gonna have to pick and choose living room and den furniture. It ain't all going with us.

There is a national organization that has a directory to find someone to help you in your community. I believe they can help you with an estate sale.

https://www.nasmm.org/

National association of senior move managers

Thank you for the link! Really helpful...

in the garage I get discouraged. Hope it goes well and you get a well deserved rest.

Sometimes divesting the possessions can be liberating. Remember, you still have the memories without the stuff.
We are planning to retire to Costa Rica. You need to divest of most stuff because import taxes are huge. Keep the stuff that you can and bless the rest. Send it out into the world.. Just like your kids. Be happy someone else will take it and treasure it as you do.

Good luck and peace....

I was an able bodied 55 year old son whose intention was to keep her at home until the end. Unfortunately, complications in her final 3 months made that impossible. My message to you is that it could be worse. It is worth discussing certain legal options with an Elder attorney in an effort to shield some of your assets. Take a deep breath and move forward deliberately. Good luck.

1.Packers are worth the money.
2. I usually don't support "red" stores, but Home Depot's boxes are better than Lowe's.
3. You don't have to pay anyone to take stuff away (I found out after I paid 1-800-gotjunk to take a truck load away) ... you can put an ad in Craig's List or some local "free" list and people will happily come and relieve you of your stuff.
4. For a charity to take large pieces of furniture (i.e. St Vincent de Paul) you might have to make an appointment for a pickup a week or two in advance. Plan accordingly.
5. Marie Kondo's "Does it spark joy?" works well, obviously and easily when wondering to keep or throw away.
6. Look at the experience as a reboot and a new joyful beginning, the possibility of reinventing yourself and your life.
7. Leave behind your depression-era-mother's idea that you might possibly need something some day. If you haven't used it in 2-5-10-more years, you probably don't need it.
8. Be VERY nice to yourself when it's over.
xoxo's

Some of the Marie Kondo stuff drove me crazy but I DO think about what she said when parting with something. It gave me joy and usefulness at one time and for that I can be grateful and let it go. Her folding methods have changed my drawer space forever.

Also, I think the internet has made things so much easier for stuff like this. You are right. You can post on a neighborhood newsletter site and people will take just about anything. I used 1-800 got junk once to haul some stuff from our backyard. What I didn't understand was they could not give me a price until AFTER everything had been loaded. I was at their mercy when it came to the price as they sure weren't going to take it back out of the truck if I thought it was too expensive.

As for the got junk guys, I knew I had a good truckload, and it was in an attic full of rat droppings -- ugh! So I decided that price was worth it to me. But it was expensive. A few days later I found out about the guys who happily take your stuff and then sell it. Yeah, I didn't like the last minute prices for various services -- and then they expected a tip on top of it?!?!? Scheissters!

such as my toothbrushes, absolutely do NOT spark joy. Which means the "does it spark joy?" isn't necessarily a good way to figure out what to keep and what to get rid of.

Brushing my teeth is not exactly something that gives me joy. It's simply utilitarian. Not sure they'd be that good for polishing silver. It seems to me they'd scratch the silver.

Lots of things I use don't necessarily give me joy: my underwear is another example. My pots and pans. On the other hand, my good china gives me great joy, even though I don't use it very often. So I'm still keeping the china.

I think the notion that you should only keep things that give you joy can't really be extended to all of your possessions. It's certainly true that many of us have and keep things we don't need. I'm currently trying to clear out some of the crap I've acquired in the last few years, since I moved to my current place.

I am astonished at how many people have their garage totally filled with stuff and the car is parked outside. It's my opinion that if you can't put the car in the garage because there's no room inside, then you definitely have too much stuff.

It has basically taken me a year to downsize from 13 rooms to 7, but I'm almost done. I held on to the original home of 53 years until the remodeling of the new home was finished and the original home was sold. Lots of emotions involved, but I was able to keep most of the antiques/primitives I loved so much.

I had a tag sale (estate sale), but would not do that again. I will now have a garage sale at my new home and am selling the antiques in a mall booth. It will take a while, but keeps my mind active and I get a reasonable return on the money. Family heirlooms will be passed down to kids and grandkids. I am nearly 80, so I know what you are going through.

Being on one floor has helped tremendously and having an attached garage is a god send. One thing that helped me a lot is moving room by room. Get the new room set up and move what you want/need into that room. Do the same for the other rooms. What is left behind is what you need to dispose of by either selling, donating or tossing. I'm still trying to find items in the boxes yet to be unpacked. I finally bought a new grater, Saturday, because I couldn't find either of the two I had. Label, label, label...

More power to you!

Tellya what: We'll be here for you. Wishing you luck, sharing whatever you choose to share, thanking you for sharing what you learn.

You stay in touch. Let us know how it's going. What are the pitfalls, the nasty surprises, the moments of gratitude, the things you learn.

We can do this for each other; we are a community.

appreciatively,
Bright

We have lived in this house for 32 years and there is so much to get rid of. I have been working that end since I retired three years ago, but there is still tons of "stuff." We celebrated our 49th anniversary earlier this month. Our kids are not nearby and have their own lives now. The years just flew by, didn't they!

You are fortunate to have family and friends to help you. I hope you will be happy once you have downsized and are free of all those burdens.

But this is a big one. Everything you're saying hits home with me. My parents didn't do it and my sister and I had to go through their 3500 sq foot home of 30 years after they passed. Bless you for doing it while you can and get to make these decisions yourself as hard as it is. It is a gift to your kids and to yourself!! We are in the process of talking to my spouse's dad and step mom about doing this same thing. He's had a stroke and she's quite independent. They are resisting the idea right now but maybe they'll come around. I wish you well during this process. Take it a day at a time.

Cleaning out a house is tough. Maybe go ahead and give some things to your kids now so you can see them enjoy having them. Some of my relatives did that as presents as they got older. It is good to be able to thank them in person. I agree that there are several possibilities for getting rid of and making money from stuff. We put everything we did not want from our mother's house in one room and a "junk man" gave us a price and hauled it away.

I hope you find peace and comfort in a simpler (and maybe less clutter) new home.

if you go to garage sales look for grabbers like this kind - https://www.amazon.com/Duro-Med-Reacher-Ergonomic-Lightweight-Magnetetic/dp/B0009STNME/ref=sr_1_13_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1503248567&sr=8-13&keywords=grabber and put them around your home(where ever that ends up being). Makes it easier if you have back issues to be more independent.

Went from a 1,600 sq ft house to an 800 sq ft mobil home in a senior park. We gave a lot of stuff, mostly furniture to kids and grandkids. We also donated a lot of things to the thrift shop in town run by Hospice. What I couldn't part with is in a 10X10 storage locker one mile away. I'm starting to question paying $95 a month for things sitting in boxes that mostly I haven't seen for over a year now.

Moving when you are able bodied is tough enough. When you have medical restrictions it is a nightmare. I can send you my good luck and heartfelt empathy. My father was confined to a bed until he passed away at 86 last year. My mother 78 is getting there too. You need a tube of Voltaren gel for all of the aches and pains.

acquiring possessions and our senior years downsizing. I'm always looking around for what I can get rid of, so my children aren't stuck doing it later.

Good luck, it really is overwhelming and you have my sympathy.

I never had the desire to amass material things. Yes, when my two kids were at home I had stuff because, well, just because you do when you have kids. But once they grew up and left home, I slowly started giving them the stuff if they wanted it. When I was about 50 I really got into downsizing and getting rid of stuff and I can say there has never been one darned thing that I got rid of that I miss or can't live without. Now I live alone and it is such a good feeling to have just what you need, be able to put your hands on something when you need it, and have open space and clear areas to move around.

It was a very conscious decision on my part to get rid of the stuff. Stuff just bogs you down and saps your energy. You may think that my house probably looks bare, but I can guarantee you that almost everyone that comes into my house always comments on how peaceful, serene and welcoming a place it is.

I never wanted to burden my two grown children with going through all sorts of crap after I'm gone. Take my word for it - most of the younger generation do not want your old stuff anyway. I have heard so many people actually get angry at their dead parents for leaving the mess for them to clean up. I live in a senior community and when someone dies, their grown children have an estate sale for whatever they can sell and whatever's left after three days they call the dumpster people to come get it all. I've witnessed that many, many times.

though most people I knew did. As with you, there was stuff because I had children, but we had little money, so there wasn't much then either.

I never had a great desire for "things" and i am rather selective about the possessions I value, mostly photography equipment and a few sentimental things. I watch people put so much effort and money into acquiring things and then more effort into maintaining them. Its that old cliche about your things owning you. Then they get overwhelmed with stuff and have a garage sale, so they can start buying more!

I saw what my sister went through cleaning out my parents house and they had downsized a lot. Even then, it was exhausting. It adds to the emotional toll I think.

of a beautiful AL facility in Atlanta for a year - downsizing and getting used to being in a small space will probably be the hardest part. Otherwise, my experience was that the food was healthy and tasty, the residents enjoyed the social activities, and there was a large room to hang out in & watch TV, if you're so inclined.

I sympathize with having to give up so much wonderful stuff so I'm glad you have 3 kids to help you get through that part. Once that's done, though, and you've made some adjustments, I think (hope) you like it. It's much safer than living alone, and you will make friends who are in the same circumstances.

Very best of luck to you and hubby!

I am glad you are making the decision and taking action. My folks lived in the same house for 45 years and would not leave, ever. Even when they could not get up and down the stairs, could not drive, never. My sister and I had to hire caregivers, do shopping, balance the checkbook, have first alert alarms, you name it. We both had full time jobs, and the stress was almost too much to handle. Toward the end, both my folks had dementia and could not perform basic tasks. If they had made the decision to move to assisted living before they became too infirm to do it, things would have been better for the whole family. In the end, we had an estate sale and got rid of most of the things in the house. My sister and I took the things that were important to the family. I wish you all the best, and you are making the right decision.

and put those kids to work on eBay!

You'll be glad you did. And another benefit is a whole new group of friends who are also a new support system. Keep active and utilize the amenities as long as you can.

If possible take digital pictures of rooms, wall Janine's, items beforehand. Store on retrievable media, to be able to reminisce when you're feeling up to it in future.
Best wishes

Or a rehab place for a bit to help keep you from falling apart?

My brother just stayed in a VA rehab place and it was great. They also made his bathroom at home accessible and safe for him. Obviously, if your husband will have issues permanently you'd need more in home help ongoing, but if it's rehab only I would hope they could help you stay for a bit and take that stress of you right now. Then when he's better it wouldn't be as overwhelming to get through stuff.

Good luck.. it's tough to be a caretaker. You're an angel.

It is difficult to walk away from all the years and all of the memories in the house in which you spent so much of your life. My brother and I helped our parents move to assisted living two years ago, from the house they bought in 1969 when I was 3 years old. They had gotten to the point where neither of them could care for the house, or for each other, so it was absolutely the right decision, but was powerfully difficult nonetheless. It was an absolute body blow to walk back into their house after the move and to see the rooms empty.

I send you warm thoughts and hope that you will weather this change and be happy in your new home.

so you can enjoy them receiving your treasures while you are still around, then breath a sigh of relief as you no longer have to dust all that stuff! (Keep the photos for rainy day remembering).

Attend all the events and parties and dinners and make a ton of new friends. And don't forget cocktail hours! (I'm also in my seventies but only admit to 50's to myself)

along with a ton of patience. Good Luck.

Facility for about 6 weeks.
It's all we could afford.
It was great though. My mom enjoyed it.

Many "Retirement" "Lifecare" communities have multiple options to fit different needs.

My MIL and parents started in independent living (cottage or condo/apt). The nice thing about this option is a larger living space. It costs more up front, but a percentage is returned to you, or the estate, when it is resold. Also, you can choose to hire someone to come in daily, or a few days a week, to assist with ADL (activities of daily living) ... bathing, laundry, shopping.

My concern is that, although hubby may need some assistance, you may not be happy living in an assisted living setting long term.

The nice thing about communities that have different levels of care on the same "campus" is that, down the road, when one partner needs assisted or skilled nursing care the other partner can spend all day with them, if they choose.

Let me state that as I have no idea what type of an assisted living facility you're considering, or what your financial situation may allow, none of what I've said above may apply. I just know this is a major life decision and you want to consider it carefully.

Love and good luck to you and hubby.

people come to the house and fix what is wrong. It's a big responsibility.

I hope that you are otherwise well.

Good luck, my friend.

My beloved partner passed nearly two years ago and I, like you, have to downsize and move.

He was a regular pack rat, a Mr. Fix-It, with two cases of used sandpaper, 200 yard sale light bulbs, a zillion small pieces of wire, three 5-gallon buckets of bolts, three cases of used lamp sockets.... and I loved every minute of him.

I was determined to make downsizing a positive thing, so almost every time something of his went out the door, I saw it as sending his wonderful spirit everywhere. A neighbor is wearing my partner's wool socks. A homeless man in the neighboring village has my partner's winter jacket and gloves. My young grandson, an avid fisherman, has my partner's mother's old Ted Williams fish pole. My dear friend has his cast iron bird art in her garden. A disabled neighbor has most all our scrap metal.

I could write for an hour, but let's just say it was a surprisingly joyful experience in many ways, and I got to decide once and for all, the difference between a real keepsake and a loving memory.
My partner's DAV license plate is hanging on my youngest grandson's wall, but the two-sided love note my partner and I passed back and forth every day for sixteen years is in a box on my bureau, where it will stay until the day I die.

I wish you all the best in this next stage of your life. You'll be surprised how much you learn about yourself (and each other) when you've finished.

~PEACE~

much too big for us..so I held an Out of Africa sale..I tagged everything..had an open house week-end..I kept what I wanted..and the rest was sold at a yard sale...

With this tagging, you buy it, you move it..love it!!!

I wish you and your hubby the very best..and a quick recovery for hubby....please be careful and not over
do....

If you have any items essential for a 'first apartment' or just moving out type (pots and pans, furniture, etc) that you can part with now, strike while the iron is hot. With colleges starting up, many kids will be moving out on their own for the first time and would probably like to have a deal on used housewares/furniture to get them started. Find a local college town and put up flyers in grocery stores (or advertise on their Craigslist).

You are lucky to have kids!
I have been trying to downsize and it is hard without help. I also have to downsize my disabled sisters, but have to convince them first. They live with packed boxes.
Result is that I have paid a storage fee (not cheap) for 5 years, and I live with boxes in 2 homes, thousands of miles apart. The logistics are awful.
It is slow going, but I hope to be in a minimalist life style soon.
Good info on this thread and encouragement to all going through this!

you'll still be yakking with us just as much as ever, yes?

The only problem is the siize of our computer/printer desk.

space to hold the printer that or get a wireless printer and you dont even need the desk you could store somewhere like in a pullout drawer next to the bed for when you really need to print something.

have a "TV tray table" available for extra space when needed (it can be folded and put away when not in use)

With home care nowdays, you can get help for 3-4 hours a day. Help with cooking, cleaning, driving, etc. My son did that daily for a year or so while getting his public health degree, now he is a nursing home administrator. There are many levels of care now days, let your kids help you pick the best option. Ct. is a state with many options. Try the Dept of Aging for information .
Good luck with the downsizing!

We've had good experiences. Home is where the heart is.

And please accept my wish that you are moving to somewhere new, where you will find new and good friends, and may your current friends and family visit you often.

Best of luck to both of you.

I do hope you get everything sorted, that the move goes well, and that you can finally relax when you get re-settled.

It will be a mess for a while. Moving is total upheaval - but just remember it's only temporary!

I know it's cliche but hang in there!

The people you meet along the way and the experiences you share will be amazing.

I have moved my parent 4 times in so many years. Each time was a downsizing experience. Family members took what they wanted along the way. Then, donations, storage facilities, storage facility sales, to now - a collection of boxes, behind a screen, in front of the computer where I am now sitting.

We've gone from large to medium sized homes, to assisted living, to nursing home care. My father passed away in the assisted living facility, and my mother is now in a nursing home. Yesterday she was moved to a new room. I organized her things and downsized again. I am grateful that she has such kind care-givers and that she is relatively happy when I visit.

I've learned that everthing you have loved can be saved as a digital photo or video.

All you need is comfortable clothes and shoes, a laptop that hooks up to a good-sized TV, cell phone, relaxing chairs, and a safe - because people steal things, even false teeth and hearing aids, no matter where you go.

Here is some info that I hope will help you:

https://www.seniorhomes.com/p/connecticut-assisted-living-inspections-and-licensing/
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/strategies-to-protect-money-from-medicaid-175434.htm

Thank you for being such a beacon here on DU. Your art posts have been some of my favorites. Please pm me if you have any questions. Mia

I am in a similar situation and have a 5 year plan to get rid of most belongings and sell house and other real estate to make a move to a more urban area and senior housing.