It Must be True, Chuck Norris said So

By Dr. Brian Carr

Having been in telepathic communication with Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott my friend has shared with me the plan to take over America. Yes, right here in Lubbock we are faced with an approaching horde of Godless, heterosexual hating, eath-shoe wearing, communists bent on destroying our society.

Chuck Norris has confirmed the threat and the plan of attack from our enemies. Just watch the videos about the FEMA camps on Ave A. The plan, called Lade Melm 15, is supported by all the people who you should fear, like the Clintons and Hussain Obama, as well as Bruce Jenner.

Judge Tom Head has let it be known through back channels that his fear that the Gay Boy Scouts will be hosting a “Jesus as my sleeping bag mate” cartoon contest downtown later this month has been scheduled. First prize will be a 55 gallon drum of cotton seed oil and your own surface to air missile. Armed with merit badges showing proficiency in knot making and pistol whipping the Scouts will have signs saying "I Dare You" outside the convention center.

Along with the Gay Boy Scouts the Black Panther Party (all three of them) will host a gun and knife show featuring workshops on how to sever your own spinal cord. The Native American coalition will feature a ceremony demanding that Senator Perry immediately leave the country related to his being an undocumented illegal pretending-to-be-human immigrant.

Read more: http://lubbockonline.com/interact/blog-post/dr-brian-carr/2015-05-05/it-must-be-true-chuck-norris-said-so#.VUk-tpPy3SI

[font color=green]...and of course Dr. Carr didn't leave out Mr. Conservative, Dr. Donald May.[/font]