Weird News

TexasTowelie

(112,428 posts) Sat Feb 14, 2015, 01:57 AM Feb 2015

Uh Oh – Polar Bears At Risk Of Penis Breakage Due To Chemical Pollution

[font size=5 color=red]Polar Bear Penises In Danger!!![/font]
Photo Credit: Ansgar Walk, Wikipedia

Oh, wow – it won’t be Valentine’s Day for polar bears. Apparently, chemicals polluting the Arctic region have boosted bone disease (osteoporosis) in these northern creatures. That leads to bone loss and bone re-absorption. And that’s bad news for boy polar bears.

Contrary to that slang term, a human male does not have a bone in his “boner.” Why? Well, for one important reason, the human male parts wouldn’t fit into human female parts.

But polar bears and some other mammals do have a bone in their penises called a baculum. And that is where the trouble lies. Bone disease interferes with their ability to mate.

Christian Sonne is one of the scientists at Aarhus University in Denmark who discovered this problem through research. ScienceNordic reports in its interview with Sonne, professor of marine mammal research in the school’s Department of Bioscience:

“Polar bears’ penis bones are eroded. So much that it might break during intercourse(.) […] The polar bears’ problem is that they live in the Arctic, where the concentration [of] chemicals is higher than many other places on the planet.

“‘The North Pole, for instance, is one of the most polluted places on earth — despite its geographical remoteness from any kind of industry,’ says Sonne.”

7 replies

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Highlight:

Uh Oh – Polar Bears At Risk Of Penis Breakage Due To Chemical Pollution (Original Post) TexasTowelie Feb 2015 OP

Seems like there would be an evolutionary force at work here: petronius Feb 2015 #1

Yes, and he will also serenade his prospect and serve her with fine wine TexasTowelie Feb 2015 #2

And that's what separates homo sapiens from ursus maritimus: petronius Feb 2015 #3

Are you writing "50 Shades of Polar White"? FSogol Feb 2015 #7

Ouch shenmue Feb 2015 #4

I'd like to see pollution disbelievers tackle this topic QuebecYank Feb 2015 #5

That bear looks sad... nt MADem Feb 2015 #6

petronius

(26,603 posts)

1. Seems like there would be an evolutionary force at work here:

Reply to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Sat Feb 14, 2015, 02:24 AM

Feb 2015

over time, natural selection will favor male polar bears who are gentler, more sensitive lovers. They will develop poetry, music, personal grooming, and the bringing of flowers. Female polar bears will find the copulatory acts to be something more than a grunting sweaty interlude with a godawful boar, and will seek it out. More and more cubs will result, and soon polar bears will rule the world...

...but sadly, they will be the kinder, gentler, more romantic form of polar bears - and the narwhals will righteously fuck their shit up.

TexasTowelie

(112,428 posts)

2. Yes, and he will also serenade his prospect and serve her with fine wine

Reply to petronius (Reply #1)

Sat Feb 14, 2015, 02:32 AM

Feb 2015

except he was going to use his boner to get the frickin' cork out of the bottle.

petronius

(26,603 posts)

3. And that's what separates homo sapiens from ursus maritimus:

Reply to TexasTowelie (Reply #2)

Sat Feb 14, 2015, 02:36 AM

Feb 2015

the screw-top wine bottle.

Well, the claws, and the fangs, and the 1200 pounds of annihilatory muscular fury are also differences, but mostly the screw-top.

H. sapiens FTW!