please unlock it and let people work it out.

As host I most certainly do have the authority to temporarily or permanently lock a thread. I am also responsible for responding to concerns. I have received several PMs from members with their concerns. I chose to lock while it is straightened out.

I appreciate your suggestion in your next post. But telling me what I can and can't do as host - when I am contacted with concerns - is not helpful. That's not why I posted this thread, which was also my choice and not required. I could have just locked.

I'm trying to reach a fair solution here. Your criticism of my host options is not at all helpful.

i accept that it is a tell that people who use the word preference sometimes come from a misinformed or even bigoted viewpoint. but i do not think it is that outside the mainstream language, and was, for a while considered the pc term. to infer that EVERYONE who uses it is a bigot is a huge stretch. and to accuse a fellow longtime du'er of bigotry for using it is just over the top.
i would urge those that are engaging in this argument to self delete the harsh words and make peace.

Repeatedly telling a host of a group to "fuck off" would be considered over-the-top by many DUers.

I read this group on a daily basis, though I have only posted a few times, as I only have so much time in a day to DU. However, I was shocked yesterday afternoon to see some of the posts in that thread, and even more so to see further replies when I read the thread this morning. The posters being disrespectful and going too far were not the hosts.

And, as Group Hosts, they can do anything they want to, as per Skinner.

I usually don't post in this group, but I read here fairly frequently, and I was frankly astonished to see last night's exchange. I can't remember the last time I read somebody repeatedly say "fuck that shit" to a host of a group. I think that the poster was treated with great patience. Despite repeated requests to use more sensitive language about a topic that is very relevant to the OP, the poster continued to throw around the f word and insult everybody in sight.

As a result of this behavior word was spreading around DU and if that thread had not been locked, I strongly suspect that it would have a dozen angry posts in it by now.

As most folks in this group know, there is an epidemic of young people committing suicide due to homophobic bullying in schools. The issue of homophobia is highly relevant to this OP so the accusation that the thread was "derailed" is just not believable.

edited to correct the phrase being used. Worse than "fuck off" it was "Fuck that shit, Starry Messenger. Fuck. that. Shit." etc.

Most teen suicides are LGBT kids. Most teen runaways are LGBT kids. I suspect most bullying is also aimed at LGBT kids. Administration (schools, not DU!) myopia to LGBT bullying is infamous.

Thank you so much to those who have posted in this thread or PMed me. I believe we can work this out but I don't want to lock permanently or unlock until everyone has had their say. That may take awhile and I thank you once again for your patience.

I'm also so glad to see this seeming to turn into a learning experience for some of us. I'll admit I never gave much thought to the terminology being discussed in the locked thread. But I know now.

Thanks to the members willing to speak up and educate the rest of us.

The phrase "sexual preference" all by itself could easily be forgiven. Many people still use the term not realizing how offensive it is to most gay folks. I think what got a lot of us riled up was (1) the response of the poster to a polite request to use another, more commonly accepted, term instead - suddenly shouting "fuck this shit" repeatedly, etc. and (2) the dismissive reaction to gay people's explanation for why the term is offensive - instead of listening, the response was dismissive, condescending, very reminiscent of the "pink pony" insults that used to get thrown at gay people on DU.

The whole thing is surprising and disappointing. I will say that NYC_SKP sent me a PM and I hope that we can find common ground moving forward.

Finally, I'd like to say that I agree with your approach to hosting. Instead of blocking members, you locked a thread to give everybody time to work this out. Many groups are rather quick to block people, and quick to lock threads that are contentious. In this case, locking the thread was not done to shut down conversation, as the conversation is continuing in this thread. Rather, the thread was locked to prevent a flamewar. I think that is a wise decision and appropriate for a host.

Last edited Tue Jul 24, 2012, 08:34 AM - Edit history (1)

And you think you don't NEED me?

I'll trust your famously good judgment, P2bLib.

Needless to say , the thread got waaaayyyy off topic. In the old days the "fuck .that. shit" post would have been deleted and the thread itself left alone.... allowing for the transgressor to calm down and regain his/her bearings, and rejoin the discussion if that was his/her desire . The fact that a jury seems to think that's ok ( !?!! I wonder how they would have voted if the target of that barrage had been defending , for example, Mr. Obama... instead of encouraging sensitivity to lgbt rights . Actually I DON'T wonder as the question approaches the tautological.)

So... we've got ourselves yet another double-standard... in an OP topic that is absolutely awash in them. ( i.e. double-standards, that is.)

Speaking of which... not to occasion another mass nervous breakdown ( Tell the truth: what other subject brings out this level of
feverish denial and furious rationalizing?) ... but NYC SKP might be interested to learn that "evolution" in fact brings up 68 hits on the NYS CC search site; "creationism" ( which shouldn't bring up ANY, because --- unlike homosexuality--- it has no basis in objective, observable, scientific fact) brings up ZERO.


I don't know how well that going to go over in Texas, but it is what it is. Yes, BTW, we have "creationists" in NYS, too.