It Gets Better, Unless You’re Fat

When you first come out, gay men are eager to let you know that you’re not alone, and that you have a seat at the table. Unless, of course, you’re also fat, in which case, no, you can’t sit with us.

I never had to come out as fat.

When you grow up overweight, everyone notices — not just your classmates, who are too young to have mastered the art of tact, but also friends’ parents and teachers. I knew I was fat because people told me I was fat, either directly (a slap to the stomach and an unkind word) or in subtler ways (having a teacher rifle through my lunch box and comment on the contents). I felt shame over my size long before I had any concept of my sexuality, and years after coming out as gay, I still feel anxious identifying as fat.

As an openly gay writer, one of the questions I’m asked most often is, “Were you bullied growing up?” And the answer is yes, but it’s never the answer they’re looking for. In many ways I was lucky to have come of age in a liberal enclave where my sexuality was accepted if not embraced. Oh, sure, I’ve had the word “faggot” hurled at me — and the sad truth is, I’d be shocked if a gay man hadn’t — but it was always secondary. The real source of my bullying was the extra weight I’ve carried since childhood. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been called a “faggot” to my face, but I couldn’t tell you how often someone has made a dig about my weight.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/it-gets-better-unless-youre-fat



Much more at the link, and the comments are worth a read too. Before I read the article I hadn't given much thought to the negativity that overweight people face in our community, but now that I am more aware of it I'll certainly pay closer attention.