can a person absorb calories through the skin?

From interaction with sunlight. I'd think in some rudimentary way yes.

is that current avatar of yours Homer eating his way through a load-bearing sugar wall?

I'm full of tedious references to them...like a Bible-thumper banging away at daily reality, but through the eyes of a Springfielder instead of the floating bearded one.

I'm sick of myself, but it's hopeless.

We used to have a function where we wrestled in chocolate pudding as a fund-raiser. The ones who spent most of the day doing it had some bad reactions, myself included. But, we did raise quite a bit of money, so a day of puking wasn't too bad.

It sounds like a hangover!

After so many of us had adverse reactions, we had to limit the time people could wrestle and people had to be cleaned immediately. People who were diabetic weren't allowed to participate. I had so much sugar in me I was vibrating! LOL!