You must try to pull yourself together，What do you do for work?

or are you just insensitive?

blur256 is on a positive track now!

Sadly, discussion of domestic abuse tends to be very heterosexist and conversations in the GLBT community are almost non-existent, much to our own shame.

At the top of this forum, is this thread: If you are in crisis...

I hope things continue to improve and that love finds you once again!

I am literally feeling the best I have since I got out of that horrible relationship. I thought it would be good to discuss, at least a little, because I feel like in the LGBT world it is not talked about as often as it should. Abuse, is abuse, is abuse. It doesn't matter who or where it comes from, it just does. And now that I am out of the cycle, I feel like I can do anything.

I almost titled my first post "Abuse is abuse." but I thought it might come across as insensitive. The fact our community is so hesitant about discussing this topic is one of the reason it is allowed to flourish. Like you, I was in an abusive relationship. No one believed me because he was such a nice guy and I could be a handful, so it must be my fault or I was being too sensitive or overreacting. There is also too much focus on physical abuse, and too little on emotional abuse. While physical abuse may be more pressing in need of immediate attention, emotional abuse can be just as dangerous and can be the groundwork for something much worse. In years of being a counselor, I have found that much physical abuse started out as emotional abuse.

Hold your head high! You are no longer a victim, but a survivor!

ETA: In case you didn't know, there is a "Sexual Assault Survivors" group here at DU. The topics aren't just limited to sexual assault, so if you feel the need to share there, it is also a safe space.

And for me it was mostly emotional, and a little physical. But it was the emotional that really got me. I felt for a long time that I was worth nothing, but I know now that I am so much more than that. And I am so sorry you had to go through the same thing. Until you have been there, no one will ever know what it is like.

Too many pass it off as "being too sensitive", but they don't realize how someone's self worth can be chipped away or even destroyed. Even if physical abuse isn't involved, emotional abuse can lead to drugs, drinking, risky activity, or even suicide. It can also make leaving next to impossible. All we can do is help others, teach them to recognize the signs, and give them options.

Abuse should never be acceptable or excused. It should never be dismissed or downplayed.

The specific nature of the relationship isn't the issue. The abuse is. I am over and over distressed by the people who tolerate being in an abusive relationship, make the excuses, don't understand they they are worthwhile human beings who should NEVER tolerate this.

I am so glad you finally found help. Thank you for posting this.

for your kind and valid response. Until, you get out of it, you don't realize it.

No matter how unfair it was, you do better by moving forward.

This is a wonderful, heartwarming story. Good for you that you kept going.

Breaking up is hard even when you realize (if only in retrospect) that it was necessary. As the old saying goes, that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger...but it's still hard.