The best thing you can do is be supportive. Remind him you are there for him no matter what the issue may be. Don't come at guns blazing, build up to it. Let him come to the conclusion, if not, you will likely fail and find yourself in no position to help at all! I will say too: be prepared for the worst! If you are not, you may actually make the situation even more volatile. Since I can't give you the proper amount of advice via a computer, I will also suggest you go to the nearest domestic violence place and seek advice. You can also call some of the numbers listed in the pinned OP at the top of the LGBT group (If you are in crisis...).

For now, until you have more support yourself, just be a friend...a good set of ears and a strong shoulder.

Thank you.

Best Friend from high school comes out. Me - in true self centered fashion was only upset because I saw how it could have been an advantage for me - and was pissed she had held that info back from me. Because I thought - I don't know. I was an ass wipe back in the day.

So she starts dating - gets a few she has to throw back. Then falls head over heels in love with a 19 year old girl that I disliked immediately. There was a reason - she was a user, verbally abusive, physically abusive and I felt she was a scrub.

A took her side - she has to. This little jerk isolated her and was telling her that her friends didn't like her because A was now gay and that was the "real issue".

It took her five years to get out of that.

She was succesful at isolating her because the women raising the red flags - we are all straight.

Now your frend is older and I hope has spent a lifetime being himself. I hope. So you probably won't have that to contend with - he's married I'm assuming he just "is".

And assuming that - Use "I feel" because when someone is being abused and isolated they are learning to not feel an awful lot.

I know this - I lost my best friend from high school for close to six years. But she later told me - if it had been a man she knows I would have done and said the exact same things.

There seems to be a block in the gay and lesbian community with this in the dark part of relationships. Love is love and people who profess to love yet hurt exist regardless of sexuality.

If this was your brother and his WIFE was behaving this way - what would you do?

Even if he gets angry with you - let him know you are there when he sees the light. He might very well need your friendship some day. WHEN he needs it.

Good advice. Thank you.

losing it and is incompetent. One thing you can do if that is the case is to build his confidence in what he is doing right.

He is on anti-psychotic meds as he was a submariner, and suffered significant PTSD. I can see how that'll be an issue. He's still quite competent. In fact, he's my lead designer for my tabletop game company... if that's any kind of indicator of his competency.

I like the idea of building his confidence. Thank you.