I "cleaned house" so to speak severing my relationship with 2 sisters and rebooting the relationship with my mother. I have never regretted it. All three were drama queens of the highest magnitude and were creating chaos in my life and the lives of my children.

I felt I had responsibilities regarding my mother. But I had no responsibility to continue the relationships with my sisters when they continued to cause harm.

I was at wit's end with my brother's drinking, but then he had a stroke and I had to see to it that he went into a nursing home. He died a couple of years later but I had developed a sense of pity and sorrow for him and was able to reconnect with his daughter and be at peace with that.

"Letting people live rent free in your head"

I learned this 28 years ago and it has made a world of difference.

my criteria is if someone doesn't bring peace, love and joy into my life, they gotta go. Congrats on taking your power back.

This "friend" was really taking advantage of the relationship he had with my husband. I'm really not around the guy very much so he hasn't bothered me but he really annoyed the hell out of hubby's other friends. Finally, hubby said "enough."

I do realize that everyone has a different 'tolerance' level. Someone could put up with something for 20 years and someone else wouldn't put up with it for 2 weeks. If you're crying (bitching/moaning/suffering) more than laughing it's time.

what you have experienced. Those of us who come from dysfunctional families with toxic relationships know how difficult it is to deal with these relatives. My own relationship with my mother was so toxic that there were periods of time that I did not communicate with her because I needed a mental "time out." She is dead 11 years now, so that problem is gone. However, my brother is basically a male version of her; but a meaner version. I am not on speaking terms with him due to his controlling and condescending behavior toward me. Even though they are family, I found the best and only way to deal with them and still retain some semblance of sanity was to remove myself from dealing with them, or dealing with them on a very limited basis.

Like you, I realized that I let them control me for far too long. It is a "blessing" and relief when you realize that only you have the power to control how you let them treat you.

the four people I mentioned. It just could not be. At least I tried, tho. She and her husband are bitter, resentful people and all they want to do is sue people. They've now gotten the boot from my head for good.

only she is a great giver of guilt trips. I don't believe she ever liked me. Over the past 45 years, she has done nothing to really try to be friendly. All I've ever received from her are guilt trips and one really nasty letter concerning what I haven't done for her or my brother. I have no patience for people like that-they waste time being angry and resentful. It seems we are dealing with similar situations and types of personalities in our families.

but my s.i.l. and her husband are determined to sue the neighbors there over a stupid thing. Since my husband is co-owner, they asked him to join the lawsuit and he refused, saying it would be better resolved to just sit down and work it out. But it seems s.i.l. and her husband just want to torture these very nice people. Of course, she now hates us because it looks bad before the judge that her own brother a co-owner refused to go along. They are going to lose and they are mad as hell.

I get the feeling they don't have very many friends. wonder why...

When they'd try to push buttons, I'd just laugh at them.

All it took is "one of us in this conversation is crazy. Since I'm not the one trying to make someone angry, sad or ashamed, that crazy person has to be you."

But you did hit on something else: it takes letting go of the dream of having a Hallmark family. That dream is pervasive and giving up on it is hard, much harder than giving up on unpleasant people who are set in their ways.