so as to avoid the cocktail hour, and arrive (apologetically) in time for dinner - I should think it would be easier to avoid the wine if there's plenty to eat. Then you could depart gracefully after dinner, but when it gets dark and the fireworks start, so it doesn't seem like you just came for the food.

However, they work would be fine.

And that’s one etiquette I remember.

So that would be a pretty amusing excuse!

I would find an excuse, any excuse, not to go.

tea of something. It can work out, and besides, alcohol isn't for everyone. Does your friend know you're not drinking?

If so this is really an awful thing to do until you are solid being able to deal with this. We avoided everything like that for a long long time until our family member felt perfectly fine. I started having a drink at night to test it out and they had no problem, if they did it would go down the drain. It has been around 15 years now since the start so hang in there, hopefully you can get to the point that you can do that, I know that a lot of people cannot. ((hugs)) It is so hard, I know from the outside how hard it is and frankly, if it were me I am not sure I could do it.

If it gets to you make excuses and leave.

You have to do what's best for yourself. If you had an ulcer, you wouldn't drink anything but water. Or if you had high cholesterol, you'd leave the burger and eat the sides. If you get questioned about getting there late or leaving early, maybe you have a friend or neighbor you're pet sitting for.

Whatever you do, seeing enjoy your friends and meeting new people. Maybe it'll be a crossroads to new places

and it does work. As soon a conviviality turned obnoxious, I was gone.

More people than you realize can't drink. There's recovery, of course, because you don't want to end up institutionalized or dead. There's also an overabundance of caution in pregnancy. Then there are bad reactions with medications. Then there's the flushing reaction that gives people a red face and immediate splitting headache.

I wish I could say parties centered around alcohol got easier, but they never did for me. My line was when the first couple started to scream at each other. "Oops, I've got an early day, wonderful dinner, see ya." and don't be shocked if someone else asks for a lift.

By then, they'll probably be too messed-up to notice.

Being able to do this is the only good thing about a pandemic.

they you can sneak out without anyone noticing. Worth getting slightly cold.

Maybe?

Last edited Mon Sep 4, 2023, 04:48 PM - Edit history (1)

ex Foreign Service people... I did not know that it had a name. I just thought it was like the
Neil Simon lyric "slip out the back, jack. make a new plan Stan"...
m

I had a decent time. I drank a fizzy water instead of a drink. And the party broke up at 9 before folks got hammered. And the food was pretty exceptional--the hostess is a decent cook. We had gazpacho and paella.

Thanks for all the suggestions.