I went into a bit of shock the day I got my diagnosis. You think about all kinds of things and go through all kinds of emotions.

Family members do as well.

There are no rules about how you should feel about your mom's cancer. Don't beat yourself up. You're having a perfectly normal reaction to devastating news. You're still adjusting to the news. Your mind needs to play with the news, allowing you to come to terms with it.

Guilt and regret are normal reactions to the news a loved one has cancer.

You love your mom and it comes across in your words. Phone calls help. Make plans to be there if she does opt for surgery/treatment. Make plans to be there if she doesn't. Write letters, send cards - I was always happy to get cards and letters from my family. Call your sisters and be sure you all keep in touch. Let them know they can talk to you. Let your mom know.

It is perfectly normal to worry about your own health when a parent has cancer. Some cancers run in families.

Great group of people here that can help you along the way. Let us know how things are going.

I have received such an outpouring already from DU with beautiful well wishes, thoughts, prayers and advice. I value every bit of it.
It helps to know that what I'm feeling is normal or to know that I will feel all sort of things and not to let that in itself cause you anxiety or add to the stress you already are dealing with.

Thank you again Solly Mack, thank you so much for sharing a bit of your own experience.

some additional information. I can only echo what others have said about staying in touch with both phone calls and mail, they both mean so much and are different.

Getting mail is exciting, plus she can display the cards in her room, they last longer after you hang up! That is not to say that hearing a voice and having a conversation is less important ... they both are important. So visit a card store and buy a bunch of cards, some from you and a couple from your daughter. IMO they should be upbeat, go for the humor, and then write a short, but personal note. Plan a visit when you can, but ask your sisters for advice as to when they might need support. Formulate a plan as they are on the frontlines and might be able to handle things currently, but there might be gaps when you can fill in, be there when they cannot so your Mom will have constant support. As my sister said to me, supporting the primary caregivers when they need it help is important, plus you are not duplicating and overwhelming your Mom with visits.

Consider setting up a Caringbridge or CarePages site, if your Mom is on the internet she can read the comments of support and your sisters can post updates as to what is currently taking place without having to make endless phone calls.

Do what you can, keep the communication lines open with your Mom and your sisters.

Wishing the best for your Mom and for your entire family.

You offered some great advice and it is all helpful. I would otherwise not know of what resources exist were it not for the caring responses from people here.

Thank you so much Slipslidingaway.

I'm glad you came over to post.

It's clear you're very close to your mother and somewhat at sea with the new news. Part of the process is just wrapping your mind around it, and that can take a long time (I was diagnosed nearly 7 years ago and it took quite some time before I accepted it). Tears are totally acceptable.

Some of the others have posted about what to expect emotionally and how you can help. I'm not exactly sure what you meant by asking what you could expect - in every aspect, or simply medically, or emotionally? Medically - and I am not a doctor, just a patient - they will remove the stomach and biopsy it. If the cancer is fully contained within the margins (in other words, they thought they "got it all&quot then with any luck she'll need follow-up scans but hopefully little or no more treatment. That said, she'll be without a stomach, so there's stuff to be dealt with there (but I don't know what's involved).

If it has spread beyond the stomach then there will probably be follow-up chemo or radiation or both, depending where and how extensively it's spread. I've learned not to speculate too much - first, if you want the warm and fuzzies, don't be looking things up on the Internet. Second, my speculation is often wrong (I'm afraid it's spread, I think it hasn't spread, I think this is elevated, I think that has dropped) and I've learned to try to do away with anxiety and take it as it comes. It's not easy, but it's all you can do.

The important thing here is to take care of yourself. If you dissolve into a basket case, you help no one. You're taking good steps already (posting here, reaching out).

I hope it goes well. Please keep posting here. You can also PM me if you want to email or talk privately.

Wishing the best for you and your mother...

- Tab

It is difficult to assess what you are feeling. I have been sort of in a zone, not quite denial but in a delayed processing phase and in some way I'm waiting for some great impact that may not come. That of course causes me to question my emotions and why am I not breaking down into tears. I am also feeling physically out of sorts and that creates a paranoia that something is wrong with me too. I became aware that this cycle can get out of control and it helped to read your advice. It has helped to ground me to the news and stay in the moment and not the infinite abyss of what-if's. If anything I do have a greater awareness of what I need to change in my own life but also to not let a sense of urgency push you over the mental cliff. I have to get this down in specifics and deal with them as they are and one day at a time. It is your response and that of others here that has helped me understand this.

Thank you again Tab.