Are there questions you'd like to ask about her life - growing up, meeting and dating your Dad, having her and raising her children?
What would you like to know about her parents -your grandparents- and her grandparents?
Tell her that now that you have a little girl, you'd like to pass on those stories to your child.

(I can't tell you how many people wish they had asked their parents some of these questions before the parents were gone.

Then ask her if she'd mind if you called every few days or so.

It's been helpful to get advice like this because I have had this deer in the headlights thing since I found out and just haven't quite been able to think clearly about what to do.

and the conversations will become easier.
You'll take your clues from your Mom.
You are doing a good thing for her, and it's a blessing for you as well to have this time with your Mom.

I know I like it when people call to check on me, but sometimes I don't answer the phone or talk long because I'm not up to it. So, unless she asks otherwise (and it's okay to ask her if she minds if you call every day) go ahead, but don't be offended if she doesn't want to talk or talk long.

My mother, whom I love very much, often calls (not every day, but close) but sometimes I don't pick up the phone or, if I feel I'm overdue to connect, I'll talk but cut it short if I don't have the energy. Nothing against her, just what I can manage at the moment.

Take your cues from her. You can ask about her results, conversations with oncologist, etc. If she indicates she'd rather not talk about it, respect that. I personally don't want to be immersed in it, but I know the rest of my family wants to know where things are. Sometimes I'm more in the mood to talk. Generally I don't mind answering questions, but I don't want to dwell on it, but that's just me.

And, yes, talk about memories, family, let her do a "brain dump" if she wants and milk her for answers for questions you'd like to know about (if she's willing). I know one concern I have is that a lot of my experiences and things I know will die with me, and if someone would like to know how something was like or how I got through it, or what it was like at a certain time (e.g.: growing up with no TV, dirt roads, automats, WWII, whatever) I like to share. We are at risk for forgetting the past because it's generally not recorded. Not so much today, where everything is on video and twitter and the historical record is rich, but back when I was growing up and certainly when my mother was growing up, those times can get lost. She may not want to go back, that's up to her, but let her guide you.

The other thing is to try to make sure loose ends are tied up; she'll probably rest better knowing everything's in place so she won't be leaving a legal mess behind. I know that's a worry I have.

There are no prescribed answers, e.g.: call every 36 hours, no more or less. It's an individual thing and you should take your cues from her, but don't be afraid to broach a topic. You'd be surprised what people will talk about closer to the end that they wouldn't do earlier. I know I had subjects I never used to talk about, but now I realize there's no advantage for me to keep them hidden, and I'm willing to talk about things that previously I wouldn't.

Don't fret over what's "correct". Do what feels natural.

Best,

- Tab

I think that is a good strategy. I called her this evening. I talked with my sister earlier today and she mentioned my mom would be by herself tonight so I knew she would love to hear from me. We talked about my family coming down and sleeping arrangements, everyday things seemed to make her happy and normal. I know she has a lot to tell me and I'm going to let her know it's her time. She listened to all of us all these years and now it's time for us to listen to her. Thank you Tab.