There's help out there, and on this board, you never need to be alone or without help.

Please look at this: http://www.lakesidemilam.com/#

for years. I had ptsd and that makes you vulnerable to addictions as you try to avoid thinking about the crime/trauma. But there are therapies out there that will get you so over the alcohol, the depression, etc that you‘ll feel great. Having gone through the whole cycle I wish I had joined AA when I was at your stage. Before alcohol had caused serious problems and big mistakes. Sign up with AA dude. Look for a meeting in a neighbourhood near you. Hear the harrowing stories of others. Count yourself lucky that you have not fallen so far. And take care of you.

p.s. I only binge drank a couple of times a year the last time I had to quit.

can be the most help to you. Reach out. DUers will be here for you.

Keep yourself busy.
Even though you may feel alone, you are not alone.