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brer cat

(24,617 posts)
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 08:43 AM Sep 2015

Why I had an abortion after 20 weeks

Good article in WAPO. It disgusts me that republicans and even some democrats would force women in this situation to carry to term. The money quote: "I had a choice."

snip

In our baby’s brain cavity, where gray matter should have been visible, there was only black. The diagnosis was the same from every doctor: Something — we would learn it was not genetic or chromosomal — had caused two leaks in our baby’s brain, one on each side, destroying it almost entirely.

We would have done anything to save the baby. We asked if there was any possibility for repair, if the brain tissue could regrow. There wasn’t. My baby would either die in the womb or shortly after birth.


snip

I had a choice. I could try to live with the husk of a child inside of me for more than 100 days, swallowing tears at every cheery inquiry as I grew bigger. Or I could have an abortion. And the choice wasn’t just about me. I have young children who would have had to see their mother endure this torture and give birth to someone they would never meet. So we made the painful, but I believe merciful, decision to terminate.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/why-i-had-an-abortion-after-20-weeks/2015/09/20/174495cc-5e2f-11e5-8e9e-dce8a2a2a679_story.html

17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Why I had an abortion after 20 weeks (Original Post) brer cat Sep 2015 OP
Walk a mile in my shoes--sure fits this sad story. riversedge Sep 2015 #1
Doesn't it? brer cat Sep 2015 #3
"I had a choice." johnp3907 Sep 2015 #2
+1000 TubbersUK Sep 2015 #4
I am so sorry mgardener Sep 2015 #5
Powerful story DashOneBravo Sep 2015 #6
The irony here is that as ambivalent as I am about abortion, I would not hedgehog Sep 2015 #7
This personal narrative says... 3catwoman3 Sep 2015 #8
Thank you for sharing this. peace13 Sep 2015 #9
thank you for posting this. this couple's decision was indeed merciful, for everyone involved. niyad Sep 2015 #10
I hate republicans. Nt Lucky Luciano Sep 2015 #11
"I had a choice"-- reminds me of a scene in "murphy brown", when she is deciding what to do niyad Sep 2015 #12
Thank you for this OP and the link to the article. greatlaurel Sep 2015 #13
I think we became somewhat complacent brer cat Sep 2015 #14
Immediately after Roe v Wade, Catholic schools began heavy indoctrination about it lostnfound Sep 2015 #16
No words. sheshe2 Sep 2015 #15
You honor us with your story Fairgo Sep 2015 #17

johnp3907

(3,733 posts)
2. "I had a choice."
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 09:23 AM
Sep 2015

Thank goodness for all the people working so hard to ensure that women can have that choice.

mgardener

(1,820 posts)
5. I am so sorry
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 10:51 AM
Sep 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. My son would have been 32 this Nov. He was born at 28 weeks and lived a life of hell till we chose to remove him from life support. About 2 months after his death was the case of the DS child whose parents wanted to withhold cardiac surgery and the conservatives went nuts. As if they knew how hard the decisions parents have to make for their child.
It makes me so angry that these men( and women) feel they have a right to tell women what they can and cannot do with their bodies and a fetus. They would fight for a parent to withhold life saving treatments for a child if it was a religious reason, but abortion? No way, no how.

If I were in your place I would have made the same choice. Women and men need to fight for the right of a mother and her partner to make the choice that is right for them

hedgehog

(36,286 posts)
7. The irony here is that as ambivalent as I am about abortion, I would not
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 10:53 AM
Sep 2015

have any qualms about this procedure. AS the author states, there was only the husk of a child there. Proof positive that these decisions belong with women.

3catwoman3

(24,054 posts)
8. This personal narrative says...
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 10:59 AM
Sep 2015

...all that needs to be said about why these decisions are no one else's business.

 

peace13

(11,076 posts)
9. Thank you for sharing this.
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 11:19 AM
Sep 2015

I am so sorry to hear about your baby. My friend had sadness with her unborn twins and faced an ugly picket crew at the clinic. That is why I always speak up for 'abortion' rights. We just never know the story. We don't have to know to understand that there is always a reason. Peace, love and healing light to you. Kim

niyad

(113,587 posts)
10. thank you for posting this. this couple's decision was indeed merciful, for everyone involved.
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 11:28 AM
Sep 2015

and to those damned, self-righteous, woman-hating, pro-forced birth gestational slavers, a big FU. not one of them gives a damn about what families go through, and not ONE of them will ever put their money where their precious "beliefs" are.

niyad

(113,587 posts)
12. "I had a choice"-- reminds me of a scene in "murphy brown", when she is deciding what to do
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 11:34 AM
Sep 2015

about her unexpected pregnancy:

But the best shows have kept in touch with the shifting reality of women's options. When her ditsy colleague, Corky (Faith Ford), offered to drive Murphy to a back-alley abortion, Murphy turned it into a Supreme Court joke. "Women in this country legally have a choice; at least I think they still do, I haven't checked the paper today." Without having to grapple with the abortion issue, the show acknowledged that Murphy wasn't trapped by her unexpected pregnancy.

greatlaurel

(2,004 posts)
13. Thank you for this OP and the link to the article.
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 11:50 AM
Sep 2015

Last edited Mon Sep 21, 2015, 08:58 PM - Edit history (1)

These decisions need to be left to women and their doctors. We need to write our elected representatives about this. I have sent many emails. It is time for us to start handwriting letters to our elected representatives. We are entirely too silent about this.

My heart goes out to this brave woman and her family for this tragedy. Her bravery for speaking out is incredible.

brer cat

(24,617 posts)
14. I think we became somewhat complacent
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 06:16 PM
Sep 2015

once we finally won the right to choice, while the pro-birth folks have chipped away relentlessly to take them away. I have heard that hand-written letters are more effective than emails to our representatives. We need to be loud and in-their-face once again. Thank you for reminding us of that.

lostnfound

(16,191 posts)
16. Immediately after Roe v Wade, Catholic schools began heavy indoctrination about it
Mon Sep 21, 2015, 07:18 PM
Sep 2015

I think it is not just complacency. In 7th or 8th grade, or maybe even both, we spent four or six weeks on the subject of abortion. It was very clear what we were expected to believe - not only that Catholics had a moral obligation to never have one, but that we had a moral obligation to try to stop others from having them.

To their credit, these same religion teachers also taught us that war was generally immoral and the death penalty should also be banned, and that we had an obligation to help the poor. They were just as firm on the last part, and invited liberal Maryknoll sisters to speak regularly.

I think it was 20 years before I started feeling differently about it.

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