Thank you so much CAV!

I am totally at peace with today's decision, However, I regret first, not seeing the problem early enough, and second, not putting him to sleep as soon as I found out... yes he had 5, much-better days then before, but maybe he was still in some sort of pain even w/the new meds, diet instructions. and our Vet's ok?

I console my guilt only in the sense that as recently as nearly 10:00am this morning, he was still ' pestering' for the cat's wet food... something happened suddenly between then and about 20 minutes later. So I'm quite sure (or at least I hope) he only suffered for the amount of time it took me to rush him to the Vet's.

Sorry to be going on and on about this... I probably should've added it to my post as oppossed to making you hear it. My apologies. But I am such an emotional mess right now.... Back and forth between relief in knowing that he is no longer feeling any pain, and guilt for (possibly) having prolonged it.

I keep driving myself nuts w/far too many what-if questions! Grr!

But thank you for your understanding and my condolences for your loss of Old Kitty.

Part of me will always ask myself, "Did I do the right thing? Should I have waited longer and just have let her die normally?"

I then think of the last few days she was with me and how horrible it was, all of the crying and moaning and all of the pain.

She was after all almost 18 years old as was Jimmy up there in age too.

The kidney failure thing is horrible. There isn't much that can be done for an aging animal no matter what we like to think. That is the reality of it.

Yesterday, I was driving home and began bawling like a baby thinking about Old Kitty. I missed the turn to the street I live on and had to go around the block. I was delayed getting home by about 5 minutes. When I got here, there was a UPS van in front of my house delivering something in a box and you could tell it was very heavy. I had no idea what it was and after the UPS van left, there was this box.

In it was Old Kitty's headstone I'd ordered after she died.

It says on it Our Sweet Angel

and yes, she was just that a Sweet sweet angel given to me by God.

Thank god we had special friends like Old Kitty and Jimmy.

It affirms our ability to know love, something that seems to be almost missing in this world we live in today.

Old Kitty and Jimmy remind us that love is very real and never goes away.

Hang in there and again another for you and for Jimmy.

Hugs to you for loving Jimmy so much. I'm sure he loved you and your partner with every fiber of his furry body and trusting heart.

I just wish Jimmy's trusting heart had had owners who had let him go before this mad dash to the vet's office occurred. Guilt, guilt, guilt! I am so angry at myself!

But again, thank you for your condolences.

I think all true, caring "moms and dads" do that. I have felt it with every one of my furpals that have gotten sick, or died. "Why didn't I see this? Why didn't I notice? I should have..." My eldest bouvier has been fighting lymphoma for the past 16 months. I have even felt guilt about him getting it in the first place. How I somehow managed to be responsible for him getting cancer, I have no idea, but the guilt is there, even though I know he has always been well cared for, fed a more rounded, healthy diet than I eat, and been protected from chemicals in the yard and in the house. I think it's just displaced frustration that he has it at all. There's no reason that I can think of, and no one else to blame, so I guess it must be my fault. The thing is, sometimes there is no reason, and the warning signs are so discreet, that we just don't see or feel them, and that's not our fault.
By the way, my bouvier and I are still fighting the lymphoma. We've done many chemo treatments, which he has handled very well with very few side effects except some hair loss, and an occasional bad day where he feels kind of lethargic and doesn't feel much like eating. He has gone into remission 3 times, but it only lasts for about 6 weeks, then the stupid lymph nodes pop back up, and we start all over again. I know we're not going to beat it, but as long as his quality of life is good, we'll keep going.

You've been wonderfully kind and understanding through all of this. For that I thank you so very much!

They *are* family and everyone here knows that. Rest assured that Jimmy is remembered by many.

I'm so glad that I came across this DU group. Especially at this time.

I doubt I'm alone in appreciating of your willingness to be our host. You are doing a great job! I especially like the pinning of the picture thread idea of yours. As soon as I figure out how, Jimmy will be there.

You are right... this group does feel like a family.

Thank you so much for everything, including the condolences.

I know how much you wanted as much time as possible with Jimmy. But you did the right thing for Jimmy, and that means everything.

Yes, I am indeed grateful for the extra few days I had w/Jimmy. And again thank you for the sympathy. backatcha.

But I'm thankful for the time I had w/my dog. Memories of our good times w/him will live on forever.

I am sure that is true of everyone here who have loved and lost their pets over the years. Thank you for your kind words of understanding.

you did the right thing. When quality of life is no longer there and the animal is in distress, you do the only compassionate thing you can do - you let your best friend go. Peace to you as you deal with your loss in the coming days and weeks.

It's hard not to question oneself as to when exactly is the *right* time, but bottom line, it all comes down to the quality-of-life part that you mentioned. The trick is to figure out exactly when is best for the pet.

When I wrote last night, I kept worrying that I had waited too long. Of course I will miss Jimmy, but I'm feeling much more at peace w/the whole thing today. Your kind post has helped with that.

Thank you!

I'm facing the same dilemma with my 20 yo cat. She had an ultrasound that discovered two tumors, one in the bladder and one in the stomach. I know that I'm on borrowed time with her anyway, but the news is still upsetting, to say the least. I will not let her suffer, but when she stops eating and appears not to be enjoying life, I will say goodbye to my sweet kitty. It's never easy, but the welfare of the cat/dog comes first.

And that you had the strength to let him go when the time came.

With the exception of yesterday morning's abrupt onset, I know that his final days were very good ones.

Thank you for your post and the hug too! backatcha

I so much appreciate your condolences...

But I'm glad that you got a little more quality time with him and were able to be right there with him at his passing.

And I'm in the process of forgiving myself for having not seen his illness sooner. Jimmy knows that I never would have intentionally let him go untreated had I known.

On a related note, I just want you to know how much your posts on the other thread has helped get me to this point... I can't thank you enough for that! There was/is much wisdom in what you wrote. I want you to know how much I appreciate your taking the time to pass that wisdom on to me--

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Just passing on what advice I was given and what helped me.

Like I mentioned, you might want to re-read certain threads if you ever find yourself feeling lousy and tending to wallow back in the guilt. I've done that many times, and it's helped sooooo much.

I'm the kind of person that finds it very hard to talk about the most personal things with the people that I know. I find it's just a godsend for me to be able to use a forum where I'm pretty much anonymous and can say whatever I'm feeling that for some reason I just can't with people face to face or that I know. This place has helped me tremendously with those things that I just can't seem to reveal in my real life, and being able to go back and re-read certain things at certain times that I'm feeling crappy has helped immeasurably.

It'll get better eventually even if from time to time it may rise up and whack you between the eyes. But it really does get better. I promise.

He runs and plays at the Bridge now. Jimmy will be waiting for both of you and your greatest gift to Jimmy was love. A loved pet is happy and secure.

Happy, healthy and running amok (lol) in a wonderful place free of sadness and pain. Hopefully he and his feline 'sister' -who had to be put down in August, are having a blast wherever they are right now.

Thank you, Irishonly!

The first thing I thought of is that Jimmy may meet my Sam and they are having a great time along with all the others at the Bridge.

.. cross the bridge and know that you will one day be rejoined with your pack. Thank you PC for sharing with us, your final morning took me back to one I spent with Shadow (our majestic Newfie/Lab) a few years ago as if it were yesterday. Ahhh man...

A Newfie/Lab... wow, I bet he/(she?) was a beauty! Great breeds both.

Yes it is hard, but life goes on as you know. I do appreciate however, how you can relate. It's so hard to know exactly when the right time is, therefore there will probably always be some second guessing involved.

I feel a bit more at peace about it now though. Jimmy, like Shadow, had a great life.

Thank you for weighing in on this as well as your kind words.

I am so sorry. There is such a bond of love with these precious animal beings that come into our lives.

Thank you very much for the kind words and sympathy.

Be comforted knowing that he had a wonderful life with you.

We have been there several times with our pets too. We've spent thousands of dollars on them with vet bills. People think that we were crazy to spend so much on them but they were important and esteemed members of the family. When you are ready to adopt another furry friend do it. A person like you would be a Godsend.

A new dog is not really on our radar at the moment, but definately someday. As much as I love German Shepherd dogs, next time, he/she will be a shelter pet just as our new kitty is.

BTW- if people think you are crazy for spending money on your pets, then they are the ones missing out, since they clearly have not found the same kind of bond that you have found! Thank you on their (your beloved pet's) behalf!

are very touching. Thank you. When our beastie Lola died a few years ago, we weren't looking for another dog, but as fate would have it, a stray came into our lives. We couldn't leave him to starve or get hit by a car. And so, Riley joined the band. As grateful as he might have been to us, we are grateful to him for the comfort, warmth and understanding he gives us. I always have someone to talk to now. Dogs can sense when you are down. When that is the case, Riley will offer me one of his toys and wag his tail when I accept his offering. We are indeed lucky to know what happiness our furry friends bring.

i held my boys as they slipped away to the rainbow bridge. that memory, that i was there, later, gave me comfort. i am so sorry

He knew that you loved him.

The end of his life was beautiful and sincere for both of you.

Thank goodness Jimmy had such loving parents!

Hope your coming days are okay and full of wonderful memories of Jimmy.