"Better one day early than one day late."

He said he was worried about me and wanted us to know we made the right decision. Her tumor was in a really bad spot we could not see easily in her mouth. After he put het down he looked, he said it had doubled in size in a month. He said he knew how hard the last year had been and he wanted us to know we were amazing (his words) puppy parents.

Made me feel much better... Thanks for your thoughts.

Your anguish came through so clearly in your post.

Let's start by considering how fortunate we are that we have the ability to and a beloved creature's suffering. Would that we could do the same for ourselves and for other humans.

To be sure, with three elderly dogs you had more than enough to worry about. If anything, you deserve a Doggy Hero medal for caring so much, loving so many so long, and having to face the end of each in such close succession.

Of course you're hurting.

Dogs are largely uncomplaining creatures. Given the choice, they would leave the pack (as it were) and go off alone to die quietly. I dare say, most would do this before we would moved to euthanize them.

We're facing this with our oldest dog, who is about the age of yours. The vet recently said her physical age approximately roughly to a human in her 80s. When you consider that - her 80s! - it sort of puts into perspective how the dog might actually be feeling. I'm not ready to change her course of life just yet as she has few real chronic issues and apart from arthritis, little that gives her any quality of life issues. With her daily meds, she even still runs to chase critters in the area. All that said, I am, even now, considering putting her down. For me, the sweet spot to do that is the day before she feels too much pain.

Obviously we can never know when that day will come until it has, in fact, come.

You'll know the right time.

As for the pain you'll feel, it will always be the same. You are, like all of us, a dog *lover*. And being one, any loss of a dog hurts.

I wish you peace with whatever decision you might make.

I knew it was coming. I could see him deteriorating before my eyes. We tried some things that the vet suggested but nothing seemed to really help. I held on because I didn't want to say good bye, and my husband was having a harder time than I was. We let it go a little too long, because in the end he was really struggling and in distress. We had planned to bring the vet to the house, but the distress got so bad, and the vet had inpatients at the clinic that he couldn't leave (he was alone there on that Sunday). We brought him in. I think if we could have faced it a day or two earlier, he could have passed peacefully at home. It took me days to stop crying over the thought that I had let him suffer, besides the normal grief.

It's hard to get the time right, but maybe it's best that you let Jasmine go before she was in worse distress.

Either way, it's so hard, and my thoughts and sympathy are with you. You have had a lot of loss this year.

I have had to euthanize a cat every year for the past three years. It makes so much sense when you get them when they are young and all the same age, but it's really hard at the other end when it's time for them to go and you're not even over the first loss when the second one comes.

I don't know if this is what is going on with you, but I have noticed that a lot of times people focus on guilt in order to avoid full on grief. I've seen my family members do it over and over again. I think it gives them a tiny sense of control. They can say, "Oh we did something wrong -- went to the wrong doctor, didn't get him to stop smoking, signed up for the wrong surgery" and feel a little bit like if they had made the right decision, everything would have been ok, instead of having to face the stark reality that these things are for the most part, beyond our control. Because I think sometimes the lack of control is worse than just about anything.

So, you could be holding on to that sense of guilt, that you did something wrong, because you just can't stand any more grief right now. I am writing this because I really feel your guilt is misplaced. Jasmine was in a lot of pain and you were doing all you could for that but it was getting to the point where it just wasn't working. It's a good thing that her last few days weren't the worst days of her life, as they may have been if you had waited. You acted out of love and kindness and did a really brave thing for your furbaby.

Hang in there.

And it was time. You are just grieving right now, and second guessing yourself is part of that grief. Having to go through this three times in a year is just more than you can take. Grieve. But don't beat yourself up about the decisions you made.

If you read your OP, you will see that it was not too soon. The tumor was bleeding heavily, the pain meds were not working for her, she cried when they were wearing off. And you know that a dog will not cry until the pain is severe, they try to hide any weakness. So it must have been really bad. The tumor had doubled in size in a month. You know that you did the right thing.

I am so sorry that you have had such pain in losing three furbabies in such a short time. I have been there with aged pets all about the same age. Once you have forgiven yourself for doing what had to be done, and should have been done, you will feel better. Maybe even be willing to consider adopting another furbaby. It sounds like you are a wonderful parent. There is a dog out there who is waiting to love you when you are ready.

Best wishes. Let yourself heal.

I needed some support from pet lovers and Igot it here. My extended family does not understand how much they meanto us.

Thanks so much!

Fyi we have 3 others in our pack, these are apart in age so hopefully we will not go thru this again. We have a 2 year old with a disability in his front legs but very loving, his mom, and a very nervous retired champion who was never bred due to his temperment.

We are blessed.....but his past year has been hard for both of us.

Thanks again for the love shown here!

i put an old dog down with few regrets. then the lory got sick and died. then the grey went out the window.

so, yeah, when it is like that, it toasts your brain.
(if you are human)

I did with both of my dogs. With the first dog I agonized for a long time that I waited too long, so with the second one I was determined to not do that again, so I was constantly assessing him from one day to the next. As it turned out, he went downhill extremely quickly during the night so that the next day I took him in for his final journey yet I still agonized that I should have done it the day before even though I couldn't have since it was so late that night that I noticed any change the vet wouldn't have been open until the next morning when I had it done anyway... but I still plagued myself about it.

When I'm not in the throws of the situation and can think rationally I figure that the right time is when there is some kind of suffering whether that's pain or quality of life. And by quality of life, to me means that the dog can't comfortably lay down or stand up anymore, or has to struggle to walk or can't walk or eat or drink decently, or go to the bathroom normally, etc. Just one of those things is something to consider may be a problem with their quality of life. I think every dog or cat and every situation is different, and you just have to really try to make the best decision you can when assessing their level of suffering... while knowing that whatever decision you make whether you agonize over whether it was too long or too soon is probably going to be inevitable afterward.

Eventually you'll likely get to a place where you feel ok about your decisions that you had to make at the time while having your heart shredded and be generally if not totally at peace with those decisions. We can all only do the best we can do at the time in each circumstance, and even if you don't feel you believe that right now it's ok... we all know you did the best you could do and tried really hard to make the "right" decision when it's really just an impossible decision to begin with that we nevertheless have to make anyway.

everyone above has already said it so well. It hurts like hell and takes so long to get over. I tried so hard to do right by our lab and even though my head said I HAD to do it, it still hurts ten months later. But we have great memories and I am trying to focus on that and not on how much we miss her. My heart goes out to you.

that fought the sedatives and tried to stay. He was nearly 12 at the time, had been receiving fluid therapy for about a year and a half and had developed multiple organ system complications. He was also a dog that had been sick since he was a pup and had really had to fight his whole life. It still bothers me that I put him down. But the reality is that he would not have survived mch longer and his final days would have caused him a great deal of suffering. I tell myself that putting him down was the last best kindest gift I could give him. And it was.

Thanks for the post...