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TEB

(12,842 posts)
Sat Nov 10, 2018, 06:39 AM Nov 2018

A Dear john FTA F..k the army attitude

My I phone rang 0200 this morning, trooper drunk of his ass calling me from Bragg. He caught the dear John he was crying angry and drunk, I listened to him vent. She his fiancé has returned the engagement ring to his mom , he wants to come home and talk to her to reason with her. Asking me to go and try and talk with her, I told him that is not going to happen from my end.

He is was talking of awol option I told him stop that talk you owe Uncle Sam another 38 months. Do not be getting caught up in awol over a woman and ucmj, you wanna go to RASP pre RANGER then onto the RANGER COURSE I hear your pain but in the long run. Speaking from experience this is a much better option do it alone, you do not need a relationship as a pfc. you know you been busy since you got to 82nd. And just wrap your head around fact that relationship is over , His reply it hurts and drunk sobs and tears.

I tried to be compassionate with him but the reality with his situation no getting around it. You just cannot quit the Army and he wants to excel. And he can by going to schools uuugh 19 years old and in love. He has been following advice I told him even though you run PT 5 days week hit gym at night stay out of the bars. Get ready for Ranger school physically I gave him same advice I was given by a fine E-7 to me in 84 as a pfc. and that advice was sound advice after we were dismissed from last formation I’d go and run hit the gym because I wanted my Ranger tab I wanted to attend that fine leadership school. Never got to I broke ankle twice was taken off jump status. Then caught PCs to mech unit west Germany and I told troop this and I said hey I still soldiered on. I said go rack out wake up in morning go get breakfast go to movie just get over her. His reply sobbing drunk I love her ,oh brother if I could hold the kid I would I’ve seen guys I served with in same pain.

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A Dear john FTA F..k the army attitude (Original Post) TEB Nov 2018 OP
This may seem cold mercuryblues Nov 2018 #1
Exactly TEB Nov 2018 #2
Good advice, TEB. tazkcmo Nov 2018 #3
She is good person TEB Nov 2018 #4
+1 DashOneBravo Nov 2018 #11
My brother got a dear John letter while in Vietnam. blueinredohio Nov 2018 #5
Nothing hurts quite like that first broken heart. Phoenix61 Nov 2018 #6
First Day of Basic beemer27 Nov 2018 #7
Totally agree TEB Nov 2018 #8
Best timing I think DashOneBravo Nov 2018 #9
Exactly TEB Nov 2018 #10

mercuryblues

(14,532 posts)
1. This may seem cold
Sat Nov 10, 2018, 07:10 AM
Nov 2018

But....yes there is a but. He is better off to find out now she is not made of Army wife material. Officers cringe when privates come in and they just got married. They know the odds of that lasting are slim and it messes up a soldier, not only emotionally, but financially.


I am glad he got his drunk on, and stayed out of trouble while doing it. Now it is time to get back to work towards his goals. He will get to go home on leave as an accomplished soldier, letting her know what she is missing out on. Work even harder to get 1st in line for promotions. The best revenge is doing well for himself.


tazkcmo

(7,300 posts)
3. Good advice, TEB.
Sat Nov 10, 2018, 08:19 AM
Nov 2018

Being a military spouse is demanding and he is better off to be rid of a woman who obviously isn't of the right makeup to be one. This isn't to say she's a bad person but simply not military spouse material. In fact, I give her credit for realising this in herself before they got married.

Once he's over the heart ache and disappointment, he can focus on himself and his goals. Maybe letting him know you've shared his story with us and our support for him will help?

blueinredohio

(6,797 posts)
5. My brother got a dear John letter while in Vietnam.
Sat Nov 10, 2018, 08:56 AM
Nov 2018

He served his time, came home, met a girl and they have now been married forty some years. I know it hurts but sometimes it's for the best.

beemer27

(460 posts)
7. First Day of Basic
Sun Nov 11, 2018, 08:28 AM
Nov 2018

On the first day of basic training, our First Sergeant told us in no uncertain terms that "No soldier needs a car, a dog, or a wife.". At the time I did not know why he told us that. After a while, in the Army, I saw that those words were very true. Today it seems as if the military prefers that the men be married with families. My personal opinion is that no enlisted troop under E-5 should be tied down that way. After getting to the first permanent station a vehicle is OK. Not an expensive toy that will tie you down, just basic transportation that you can pedal easily if you get transferred. The dog and wife should wait until they have some rank.

DashOneBravo

(2,679 posts)
9. Best timing I think
Sun Nov 11, 2018, 06:55 PM
Nov 2018

They weren’t married. They don’t live together. And she’s still at home area with her family.

Like one of you said, get the drunk on and over. Start doing more PT for Pre-Ranger

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