It's Hell to be Old

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

The doctor wanted a sperm count from an 85 year old man as part of his physical exam. He gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained,

'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. 'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing...'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'

The old man replied,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(wait for it)....
.
.
.


'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'