We’ll start with the obvious, which is that #Ballghazi is an idiotic (but thoroughly enjoyable) scandal that is of microscopic import to the NFL and of even smaller import to the world at large, and it is already dying a proper death. We are very good at manufacturing scandals out of nothing here in America. You only need a few key ingredients:...

Given how little we have to work with in this instance (air pressure, a ball boy going into a bathroom, a potential rules violation that had virtually no effect on the final outcome), this may be our crowning achievement in collective truthering. We got more than a week out of this lemon. It’s almost enough to make you feel sorry for the Patriots. Maybe you would even like to root for them on Sunday, as a matter of principle, or because Bill Belichick was so cute talking about stuffed monkeys.

So I’m here to re-emphasize the obvious: do not root for the Patriots. Fuck the Patriots. Fuck them to hell. ...

I don’t want Pats fans to have any of that. And I definitely don’t want them to cloak four Super Bowl titles in their unique brand of triumphant self-loathing. These assholes already have three rings, and they STILL want your pity for having to root for the Pats back when they were old and shitty. Look at the endless, terrible schlongread about Brady from the New York Times this week: