I had too much fun last weekend!

Last edited Sat Apr 20, 2024, 05:09 PM - Edit history (1)

Man was I wrong. So wrong. Infinitesimally, bigly wrong! Some of my Lotus buddies have been pushing me towards autocross and to be honest, sounded lame. Driving through a parking lot through cones? Pass. Once again, damn was I wrong! I’m officially screaming to the heavens, “Glamrock was wrong!”

Went to the SCCA Learning Curve Autocross Training in Joliet last weekend. Figured if nothing else, I’d at least learn some stuff and show off my car.

Went with my buddies Paul and Allen. Had the class that explained the car classifications, how to read the cones/course, etc. and then got teamed up with our instructors. Paulo and I got the same instructor. The poor bastard. He had to be constantly getting in and out of two Elise’s all day. And even I have trouble getting out of the passenger side! LOL! He was a big boy (278#’s) and was basically crawling out on his hands and knees. I watched him get out of Paulo’s car from my driver seat so he could run over and jump in mine. I, and everyone who saw it laughed our a$$es off. What a great sport he was! He did it all day. (I ended up buying him a “How to exit a Lotus” t-shirt as the dude earned it!)

Anyway, my first run was a little off. The sea of cones messed me up right out of the gate, but recovered and rocked on. Hit the first set of slaloms and that was it. I was hooked. Absolutely nailed it! My first time was not awesome as I had basically stopped to turn 180 to get to the FIRST turn. LOL! But we got done and the instructor was blown away. Couldn’t believe it was my first run through slaloms. Never touched a cone! I think I came in at 43 seconds? Not awesome. But next run dropped it to like, I don’t know 35? Then 34. Then 33. Then 32. Nice, right? Constant improvement. Oh and for the record, we had worked cone duty on this course before we drove it so except for the entrance (I was too far away to see) I watched a buncha cars do a buncha runs and had a good idea of the rest of the course before I drove it. And I had a better time than Paulo. Not bad for a 50 year old, fat, has been rock star! I mean, Paulo’s in his twenties! Then we moved to the other course…..

Ran through it with the instructor and finished a 24.10. Had a really slow 180 turn after slaloms that was pretty difficult. But a shorter course. But difficult, man. And the kid kicked my ass. Completely. My second run? Got lost after the 180 (sea of cones and remember, I haven’t watched people drive this for 40 minutes before I drove it). Instructor is trying to guide me and it’s too much overcorrect and I’m losing control and I barrel through a cone wall! LOL! However, still haven’t touched a cone! Me and the instructor are howling with laughter and he’s all, “how in thee f*+# did you do that? That was a sniper shot! You totally threaded that needle!” I’m like, “The Blue Meanie is the most cherished thing I own. I’m very protective!” And we giggled all the way back to the grid. Not sure any of the consecutive runs were actual finishes because I kept getting lost and missing gates. Maybe I finished on the last? Regardless, Paulo kicked my old ass! And he’s a really good friend and I was psyched for him. If I can quote Badger and Skinny Pete from Breaking Bad, “that’s church!” (And for the record, I’m not out there trying to beat Paulo, per se. We’re both chasing the lowest time that either of us has posted.)

So we move back to our first track and roll another 4-6 runs a piece. And I’m generally maintaining my previous times or dropping 1/8-1/4 second. But I’m bound and determined to break into 31 seconds. And my last run? F-ing 32.009! Like, .009 is shorter than it takes to blink! And I’m shaking my fist at the sky and cursing the gods! LOL! And Paulo kicked my ass again! Generally speaking, I’m not a competitive person outside of music. As in “yeah, good luck following us! But there’s some “f-ing kid! G*#%^¥£*t!” being muttered under the old helmet. LOL!

Moved back to the “trouble” course and at this point, I have at minimum, 12 runs under my belt. I’m no longer just being aggressive. I’m familiar and beginning to have time to think while driving. Like, “next run I brake later. I gotta get to this side of the gate, etc, etc.” And I killed it. Dropped my time basically half second every run.

Really indebted to my instructor. He was so excited for both me n Paulo when we were doing well. Learned so much from him. You can hear him below coaching from outside the car (think he’d had enough climbing in and out by this point and was watching from the sidelines and advising after the run.)

https://youtube.com/shorts/EbV8IU47NsE?si=3G0y6GsgftnsDodF

And if you’re asking why you’re not hearing anything about Allen? His is a turbocharged 390hp. There was no chasing his times! LOL! That car is a beast!

All in all a fantastic day! I had the best time against an Elise on both tracks….and lost to an Elise on both tracks. LOL! Oh! And only wiggled one cone all day! Not bad right? Learned a bunch! And most importantly learned more about my car! I found myself power-sliding through the 180 on the first course multiple times that day and never over-steered. I didn’t know I could do that!

What a fantastic day racing with two great friends and their Elise’s. Doesn’t get better than that!