Religion
Related: About this forumTransgender teen died in apparent suicide, suicide note blames parents and religion...
[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#dcdcdc; padding-bottom:5px; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-bottom:none; border-radius:0.4615em 0.4615em 0em 0em; box-shadow:3px 3px 3px #999999;"]Joshua Alcorn, Kings Mill teen killed on I-71, remembered as 'sweet, talented'[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#f0f0f0; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-top:none; border-radius:0em 0em 0.4615em 0.4615em; box-shadow:3px 3px 3px #999999;"]KINGS MILL, OHIO -- A little more than 24 hours after his death on I-71 in Warren County, Joshua Alcorn is being mourned and remembered as “a sweet, talented, tender-hearted 17-year-old.”
“Our thoughts and prayers are with Joshua's family and friends at this tragic time,” said Dawn Gould, Community Relations Coordinator for Kings Local Schools.
Alcorn, a Kings Mill resident and former Kings Schools student, died around 2:20 a.m. Sunday after a tractor trailer hit him as he walked along the southbound lanes of the highway near the South Lebanon exit.
http://www.wcpo.com/news/local-news/warren-county/joshua-alcorn-kings-mill-teen-killed-on-i-71-remembered-as-sweet-talented
Here is the full text of the suicide note and follow up, note these were scheduled submissions.
[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#dcdcdc; padding-bottom:5px; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-bottom:none; border-radius:0.4615em 0.4615em 0em 0em; box-shadow:3px 3px 3px #999999;"]Suicide Note[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#f0f0f0; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-top:none; border-radius:0em 0em 0.4615em 0.4615em; box-shadow:3px 3px 3px #999999;"]If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue.
Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in… because I’m transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4. I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally “boyish” things to try to fit in.
When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.
My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.
When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.
I formed a sort of a “fuck you” attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be less of a shock. Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted.
So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.
At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a shit about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.
After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like shit because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.
That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a shit which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.
Goodbye,
(Leelah) Josh Alcorn
[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#dcdcdc; padding-bottom:5px; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-bottom:none; border-radius:0.4615em 0.4615em 0em 0em; box-shadow:3px 3px 3px #999999;"]SORRY[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#f0f0f0; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-top:none; border-radius:0em 0em 0.4615em 0.4615em; box-shadow:3px 3px 3px #999999;"]And now for my sorry notes to some people I knew…
Amanda: You are going to have such a wonderful life. You are the most talented and pretty little girl I’ve ever met and I love you so much, Amanda. Please don’t be sad. I’m going to miss you so very much. I love you.
Tiffany: We haven’t talked much recently since we’re both so busy but I’m so happy you’re my sister. You are so courageous and determined to achieve what you want, you can accomplish anything. I love you.
Justin: We’ve been jerks to each other a lot recently but I really do love you. You get on my nerves almost all the time but no matter what a part of me will always love you. Sorry for picking on you so much when we were kids.
Rylan: I’m so sorry I’m never there for you. I love you so much.
Abby: Thank you for dealing with my pathetic problems, all I did was make your life harder and I’m sorry.
Mom and Dad: Fuck you. You can’t just control other people like that. That’s messed up.
I don’t really feel the need to apologize to anyone else… odds are you didn’t give a shit about me and if you do, you did something that made me feel like shit and you don’t deserve an apology.
Also, anyone who says something like “I wish I got to know him better” or “I wish I treated him better” gets a punch in the nose.
http://lazerprincess.tumblr.com/
There is some question as to whether this was an actual suicide or a tragic accident, but here's a link from this young woman's mother's facebook page, refusing to use her real name and pronoun:
http://www.wcpo.com/news/local-news/warren-county/leelah-alcorn-suicide-note-sparks-transgender-discussion
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
trotsky
(49,533 posts)
lunasun
(21,646 posts)Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted. .....
I think this happens to a lot of kids - they do not live up to the parent's idealized child so the love is turned off by parents = sick, selfish and egotistical view of what a child should mean in their life = not a prize trophy, mini me or redo of their own losses in life
Humanist_Activist
(7,670 posts)robbing their daughter of her identity in death.
lunasun
(21,646 posts)
Must have been hell on earth - Christian therapist ? didn't know they exists but bet you need 2 or 3 real therapists after those sessions
Humanist_Activist
(7,670 posts)occur, revoking of licenses, and possibly criminal prosecution. This is gross negligence on their part.
roguevalley
(40,656 posts)I applaud her courage to speak out. I love you, Leelah. We needed you but where you are now, be happy. The world is a poorer place without you in it. You are loved, child.
Someday this will make sense to her parents and they will be filled with regret forever. It may take time but this is their great lesson to learn in this life. You can't control people's lives like this. Too bad they didn't listen.
hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)Warren Stupidity
(48,181 posts)It is an incredibly hard life, full of rejection, discrimination, abandonment. Many health insurance providers refuse to cover transgender related health issues. There is no protection against job discrimination. The only bright light I see is that the millennials as a generation are just incredibly open and accepting, for transgender young people their peers aren't generally the problem, it is everyone else.
Humanist_Activist
(7,670 posts)and if those people are licensed, if so, their licenses should be revoked.
Transphobia is so common as to be nearly not remarked upon at all in much of our culture, that needs to change, drastically.
LostOne4Ever
(9,289 posts)[font style="font-family:papyrus,'Brush Script MT','Infindel B',fantasy;" size=4 color=teal]They hurt no one, and their only transgression is that they were born the wrong gender.
No one should be punished for that.[/font]
LostOne4Ever
(9,289 posts)...
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)Just... wow.
Ken Burch
(50,254 posts)The friends who weren't really friends killed him.
Shame on all of them.
Shame on all of us, as a nation and a world, for not being better than this.
And, somewhere, Jesus weeps for the misery inflicted by those who twist what he said(and use him to impose things on others that he NEVER said)from a message of life into a message of death.
May that sweet, wounded young soul be somewhere now where she is loved and at peace. Be free, Leelah, for now at last you can be yourself. I'm ashamed that we all did this to you.
Lordquinton
(7,886 posts)Please be respectful of Leelah.
Ken Burch
(50,254 posts)Here's a picture of Leelah, btw:
Lordquinton
(7,886 posts)the posted article was even doing it, so it can be forgived in this context. I think it's important to make a point of it here as even she had trouble being firm with her name even in her final letter.
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)
madamvlb
(495 posts) 
okasha
(11,573 posts)
Enter another martyr's name on the rolls.
AgingAmerican
(12,958 posts)I met her in the 90s in an online political chatroom. Her and I were the 'leaders' on the liberal side. She is Aussie. We have met in person several times and my wife and I will be going down to see her and her husband this spring. I have become friends with some of her transgender friends too. Amazing women.
She told me of having similar feelings at age 17, but getting through them and transforming at age 25.
This story makes me so very sad.
okasha
(11,573 posts)She was still wearing men's clothes in public, but it was one of those fantastic classes where the students all bond with each other and the teacher, and she came out to us.
One of the best moments in my professional life.
marym625
(17,997 posts)No words.
Leelah
rug
(82,333 posts)
marym625
(17,997 posts)When I was on Facebook, I helped run a "teen safe house" for LGBT kids. It was a secret group so they could chat and share things with each other without anyone knowing.
One of our favorite was a kid named Josh. The story is very similar to Leelah's. Although Josh never came out as trans. He was suicidal and all over the place emotionally.
When I first saw this, I thought it was him. It isn't but it easily could have been.
It is unfathomable that kids are still suffer through this bullshit. There were many stories of unbelievable pain and almost all were somehow based in religion.
This hit me hard. I feel for her friends and family that loved her. That doesn't include her parents. They didn't show anything but hate.
This has to stop.
