Religion

pscot

(21,024 posts) Mon Mar 28, 2016, 03:27 PM Mar 2016

A staunch Calvinist dies one day

and goes to Heaven. There, he sees two lines. Hanging over the end of one line is a sign that says "Free Will" and over the other says "Pre-Determined". Being a staunch Calvinist, he gets into the "Pre-Determined" line.

An angel with a clipboard comes along after a bit and asks him, "Why are you in this line?" He answers "Well, because I picked this one I guess." The angel glares over its glasses for a moment and then admonishes him, "You picked it? You're supposed to be in the other one then, dummy!"

The Calvinist switches lines. Eventually, another angel with another clipboard happens upon him and asks him why he's in this line.

Our hero replies, "Well, that guy over there told me I belonged in this one!"

5 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

A staunch Calvinist dies one day (Original Post) pscot Mar 2016 OP

Excellent. NV Whino Mar 2016 #1

Isn't it funny... Act_of_Reparation Mar 2016 #2

That was funny. hrmjustin Mar 2016 #3

Not everyone appreciates pscot Mar 2016 #4

That was funny. Manifestor_of_Light Mar 2016 #5

NV Whino

(20,886 posts)

1. Excellent.

Reply to pscot (Original post)

Mon Mar 28, 2016, 04:14 PM

Mar 2016

Act_of_Reparation

(9,116 posts)

2. Isn't it funny...

Reply to pscot (Original post)

Mon Mar 28, 2016, 05:33 PM

Mar 2016

...I've never met a Calvinist who thought they were predetermined to an eternity of torment in the fires of Hell. Every single one thought they had a recommendation to the spirit in the sky. Go figure.

hrmjustin

(71,265 posts)

3. That was funny.

Reply to pscot (Original post)

Mon Mar 28, 2016, 06:36 PM

Mar 2016

pscot

(21,024 posts)

4. Not everyone appreciates

Reply to hrmjustin (Reply #3)

Wed Mar 30, 2016, 12:27 PM

Mar 2016

exegetical humor.

Manifestor_of_Light

(21,046 posts)

5. That was funny.

Reply to pscot (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 05:46 PM

Mar 2016

I have always wanted to ask a Calvinist why bother going to church or anything else if everything is pre-determined. If our works are as nothing. Makes it all look even more pointless.

But then Catholics believe you must have faith AND works. Protestants think faith alone is OK.

My personal position is that good works are done by real people on this real earth, not by god. I can see results from real people doing good things. My "angels" are REAL PEOPLE that have saved my life -- trained doctors and nurses.

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