Against Theists and Atheists

LESLEY HAZLETON’S BRAND OF AGNOSTICISM SIMPLY HOLDS OPEN A SPACE FOR CONTEMPLATIVE THINKING.

BY MEGAN VOLPERT
20 April 2016

My religion is a hotly debated series of speculations. I eschew labels because most of them are an uncomfortable, imperfect fit. Into the void left behind in their wake is a bunch of anecdotal flotsam upon which spectators—my family, my students, my bartender—build a sense of what I might believe.

My father’s father was Catholic and my dad quit the church as soon as he was allowed. My mother was born a Jew, never bas mitzvahed, and skulked around as a Jew for Jesus until eventually being taken in by a megachurch. The only time I ever went to a weekly service of any kind was when I was in seventh grade on a summer trip to stay with my uncle in Philadelphia. I still feel gross for not telling him I’d rather not have gone. My wedding was a pretty pagan affair, though we did stomp on a glass blessed by a rabbi who was into supporting same-sex marriages.

Most people who know me well would say that I’m a philosophical person with strong values. To judge by my actions, one could easily conclude that I’m some kind of secular humanist. I carpool to work every day with a woman who is all about Jesus, and we are often surprised to find that we agree upon what should be done in any given dilemma about 95 percent of the time. The remaining five percent is about abortion. Even among the Southern states I have called home, my neighbors largely love me as an upright citizen, though they do not see me on Saturday or Sunday at their houses of worship.

In college, when I was anti-everything, I did a few turns at the wheel of atheism, but it was just so much work. Still, my own grandfather, who lived happily as a Jew for much of his life, recently declared at age 80 that he is an atheist. He still talks to my grandmother, who died 20 years ago, as if she is right there and they will be reunited some way some day, though he is not at all senile. I recently saw an interview with Brian Wilson (discussed in this article), where he spoke to George Harrison in this same manner and it affected me surprisingly deeply.

http://www.popmatters.com/review/agnostic-by-lesley-hazleton/