The Church Militant has posted a new video in which he thanks God for giving his mother stomach cancer and dying so that he would be brought back to the Catholic Church. Michael Voris, president and founder of St. Michael’s Media and producer of the website Church Militant, took to YouTube to reveal details of the sinful life he lived prior to his “reversion” to Catholicism.

He was posting the video now, he said, because there were forces seeking to “publicly discredit me, the apostalate, and my work here.” He says that he had always publicly spoken of his life prior to his reversion as a time in which he was living in “mortal sin.” He just hadn’t thought that “a full public confession of details was necessary.”

Voris is not outing himself as a gay man. He denies being gay. He does say, however, that “..most of my thirties, confused about my own sexuality, I lived a life of live-in relationships with homosexual men.” And he is aware of how that looks. “From the oustide, I lived the lifestyle and contributed to the scandal in addition to the sexual sins. On the inside, I was deeply conflicted about all of it.” He says that in his twenties, he slept with both men and women.

He now abhors all of that behavior, which he says was about “seeking solace in lust and surrendering my masculinity.” While Voris seems confused about the relationship between sexuality and gender, he is positive that it was his mother who became the instrument of God’s grace.