Im still looking....

Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true
You'll see it's all a show, keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you"

As for me, I'll pass on never-ending life. That's way scarier than any death.

your hard drive will be wiped clean and ready to be programed with a new language.

What if there's life after death and it's terrible?

What if the floors are that brown mica-speckled linoleum shit seemingly installed in every hospital built between 1975 and 1990? What if the whole place smells like the inside of a used gym sock? What if Duran Duran plays over the loudspeaker every minute of every day? What if your only choice between restaurants is Chili's and another Chili's across town? What if all the beer is Keystone Lite? What if all the cigars are CAO, and all the cigarettes Durals? What if the best whiskey is Jim Beam? What if the only thing playing downtown is Donald Rumsfield reading his own personal existential poetry? What if... well, you get the idea.

I only hang around here because I have nowhere else to go.

And here I thought my Sunday school teachers said scary things about hell! Your description is a million times worse than what they said it's like. Their description of heaven was equally unappealing, so if their version of Christianity is true I'm screwed either way.

Just not for the dead guy.