Where Is the Place for Devout Gay Families in the Church?

A pair of moms—who met when they were nuns—show the tension surrounding homosexuality in Catholicism.



Ramon Espinosa / AP / Zak Bickel / The Atlantic

Emma Green 7:03 AM ET

Gabriela Fore—aged 9, soon turning 10—was adopted in 2006 by Annmarie and Claire Fore. During the pope’s visit, she sang in the official choir of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, which greeted Francis during the weekend’s masses. The Fores regularly attend St. Vincent de Paul Church in the Germantown neighborhood of Philly, where they have participated on and off in gay-and-lesbian spirituality groups. The priests are welcoming, as is their congregation, the women said; they feel comfortable holding hands in church.

They are a totally ordinary Catholic family, except that Annmarie and Claire are gay. Well, and not totally ordinary—Annmarie and Claire are also former nuns who met during their time as Franciscan sisters and eventually left to get married. At times, they’ve considered leaving the Church altogether. But when they’ve gone to other kinds of religious services with friends, they felt like “this is not us,” Annmarie said. Their spirituality is specific, formed by and within the Catholic Church. That hasn’t changed just because they’re now married lesbians, rather than chaste sisters. But in Roman Catholicism, it’s not enough to declare your religious identity—the institution determines who is part of the body faithful. The Church, which views “homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,” does not approve of families like the Fores.

Even the world’s most hierarchical religious institution isn’t immune to broader social changes, though. This month, Catholic bishops are in Rome for the second of two synods, or meetings, about the topic of family and marriage. Already, there’s been drama between conservative and progressive prelates, with the former accusing the latter of trying to change Church teachings in a fundamental way. Gay marriage isn’t even close to being on the table; at most, the bishops might issue guidance on how to minister to LGBT Catholics, as some hinted at last fall’s gathering.

This is the world of the clergy. But the world of the faithful isn’t necessarily the same. In America and elsewhere, there are already gay Catholic families attending Mass, taking communion, and living out their faith. And while some in the official Church hierarchy might not accept them, a lot of Catholic leaders do. Before the pope’s visit, for example, the Fores told the music director they’re a gay family. But “she was like, ‘Ok, welcome, you know, whatever,’” said Annmarie.

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/10/gay-catholic-families-catholic-church-synod/411043/