Nothing lasts forever, although it might seem like it. No matter how lousy things get, they will be finite. Either it will get better or I'll die.

hope to hear more

at the end of the day, it's me, only me.

I can be the anvil or the hammer, whichever is needed. I can be damaged, but I will not break. If I do break, I'll never know it, because that will be the end of me.

please!

And thanks to all who have written in...

Tough times usually mean something has gone wrong. When that happens, I'm usually concentrating more on fixing the problem than worrying about help from supernatural entities.

I recently had a Major Life Change (that I'd rather not go into detail about). Lots of panic for a few days. Then I figured out things weren't as bad as I thought. Which often happens. Though my case didn't involve major illness or the death of a loved one.

A couple of things that help me thru general life malaise/depressions:

1. Reading Epicurus. I really like his idea that not even death is anything to worry about. As long as we exist, death is not with us, so nothing to worry about. And when death finds us, we no longer exist anyway. Which means we won't be worrying about anything.

Also his observation about gods and men, quoted from memory: "If any gods existed, man would have vanished from the Earth long ago. Since most men spend much of their time asking the gods to smite their enemies."

2. Watching true crime TV shows. However bad your life is, you probably haven't been dismembered by your spouse or shot by your 72-yr-old grandmother-in-law (two recent cases I saw).

These show make me feel lucky and smart. Not smart in an arrogant way, but smart in a jaw-dropping "WTF?" way. Example: "Why yes, officer, I just happened to take out a million-dollar insurance policy on my spouse 2 days before he/she ACCIDENTALLY fell down the stairs and suffered a broken neck. Why would you be suspicious about that?"

There are some profitable sounding ideas there.

Just kidding.

I watch Perry Mason all the time. I know crime doesn't pay. Just make sure you curiously examine the murder weapon and Perry will get you off every time.

my Dad and others I've loved and learned so much from have left me in all the memories I have of them, as the good, kind, tolerant, courageous people they were. The (mostly unspoken) lessons from my Dad, especially, are everything to me ... and all I need when seeking the right thing to do or how to find hope in what seems hopeless.

That said, I am happy for anyone who has a higher spiritual being to believe in and follow.

And the words of Robert Hunter, help.

and the other things you mentioned. What everyone has inside them in some measure, but which religionists choose to attribute to something else, for reasons of their own. You don't need the Wizard of Oz to give it to you, though…or any supernatural sky-daddy.

thanks, guys.

Seriously, how does "relying" on a fictional deity help at all once you have realized that the deity is fictional?

Oh, and drugs...lots of drugs!

Which ones?

The sense of the absurd works for me!

It, too, is make believe.

I get on the phone and call my husband, mom or my best friend.

Sometimes late at night when I'm feeling alone (my husband is a truck driver) I'll get out my favorite old movie or tv show.

It always passes and I know that. Knowing that this feeling will go away helps me through it that much more.

I'm glad this works for you. I was more resilient in my youth and this seemed to work..better...

Maybe it's the awareness of less time left; maybe it's a sense that this is becoming my life, but somehow, waiting for it to "pass" isn't helping as much as it seems it should!

Thank you for your reply.

We're just carbon-based lifeforms on a little planet in one galaxy among billions and billions of galaxies. In the span of time and space we are less than a blip.

I know...why is this so compelling?

I love going out in nature...wild nature. Its beauty, pure objectivity and thereby "morality." Why does feeling so small also feel so good?

I often think of this, and then I think about suffering; and for the sentient being who is in suffering, their pain is all, to them.

So, we are small, but we suffer greatly.

We are part of nature and nature is part of us. And by 'nature' I mean 'Nature' - all the way from the very small to the very large.

Or so I hold. So maybe I'm somewhat pagan too. I rely on myself, friends, animals, plants and landscape, the ocean, travel but above all living in a small local community where a sense of belonging is possible, my ability to be sociable, usually; nature, concepts of Tao, Tantra and Zen, and the I Ching, in extremis. Oh, and marijuana and St. John's Wort (hipericón), the possibility of love and plenty of work.

I wish our community was tighter, though. To outsiders, it might appear such. But really, on a deep level, it only goes so far...I guess just not far enough for me.

The kind of community where if there is an emergency, they will be there for you. If nothing better is going on, they will show up. If it suits their whim, they will be there. But there doesn't seem to be a sense of showing up because of what it would mean to another. I am terribly guilty of this throughout a period in my life. It accompanies a certain social anxiety that for the hell of it I don't know why I had it. Now I just feel lonely, on an essential level. My daughter, I think, too. My daughter and husband are introverts, pretty satisfied staying in their cocoons. Because I am aware of how important community is - as well as tribe (very small family that we have), I am the one to whom it falls to constantly be vigilant for connection. It's wearing...

The day I can't rely on myself is the day I should die.

do you ever feel too alone, in this?

Once you get past that--and once you quit looking for a reason as to why we're here--things get a lot less stressful. I have had a very good life, with love, laughter and far more happiness than pain. When the bad times do happen, they are a lot more manageable with eyes wide open and no reliance on Supernatural Fairy Tales.

I have a rock-solid belief in humanity, even with the sad state of it I see every day. That translates into a belief in myself and my own resources to take care of any problems I might encounter. And if I don't solve them, it won't kill me. Unless it does, and then I'm dead and at peace, right???

the uncertainty, and also the ultimate, essential, loneliness...or perhaps aloneness.

I am so happy for you in your life experiences. I am working on the "attitude of gratitude" I think I need to engender in myself.

For me, it is mostly about my loved ones, especially my beloved daughter. I had thought she was sad, or perhaps depressed, but am learning it is more about her being an introvert. So she is not so unhappy in her somewhat isolation, apparently...

Merry Christmas, if that is your winter holiday of choice! back atcha!

Seriously, though, I'm way up there on the calendar. My consolation is that when it's over it's over, it's my life and what I did with it was mine.

Too many people are paralyzed with fear that they'll get their just reward, which would likely be pretty terrible. I'm going to skate.