What's So Good About It?

Happy Good Fucking Friday. I need to rant or I'll reach critical mass and take out the entire Gulf Coast.

It's the anniversary of Jesus' gory death. The guy who might not have even existed and if he did, he was just a minor rabble rouser that got elevated to godly status by the Iron Age National Enquirer. Even in today's technological age, we still have people who claim dead celebrities and other notables never died and create myths that they live in anonymity on some deserted island or fortress somewhere. Elvis was weary of the public bubble and went into hiding. Hitler was smuggled into Brazil. Jimmy Hoffa is still laying low somewhere, probably with Tupac. Michael Jackson paid a fortune for his doctor to fake his death. Grand Duchess Anastasia was saved from the Bolsheviks, marrying a peasant because she'd lost her memory.

These next three days are going to be Catholic hell. I'm the only atheist in a humongous family of papists and yes, I'm a wuss that's in the closet. Oh, I'm not really fooling anyone. And the millennials in the family are lukewarm with a few like my kids that are tepid agnostics. Is there such a thing? But, tonight, we're going to our traditional seafood joint and the elders will watch everyone like hawks to make sure we eat sparingly. I'll bet you dollars to donuts that half of them will head to Whataburger on the sly afterward. Everyone listened to me long-sufferingly when I told them that Jesus said in Luke 22 that the only meal and remembrance he wanted was for the supper the evening before. I get no respect.

What a barbaric observation to have for a holiday. To 'celebrate' Jesus' death. I hate this shit. If there had been a person named Jesus that was killed in ancient Judea, I don't want to celebrate the poor bastard getting rubbed out. They claimed to have loved this guy. You celebrate Hitler getting his ass blown away. Or Pol Pot. Oh, but you can't become a god unless you get 'transcended.' And that's better achieved if you're DEAD. The ancients revered their dead. But, today, we know better. If we saw the resurrected Jesus, we'd go for a head shot. A double tap.