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intaglio

(8,170 posts)
Sat May 3, 2014, 06:26 AM May 2014

Via FSTDT Conspiracy Theorists pages - THE REAL CAUSE OF ATHEISM UNEARTHED!!!

From elthemor's Leftover Shrooms blog via CSTDT

Fluoride is the leading cause of atheism ...

/snip

Postmodern society has brought forth an age of theistic skepticism and a spiritual disconnect, which many militant atheists would consider enlightenment. However, I believe there's something more to be found in exactly why atheism is gaining popularity in first-world countries around the world. To explain this, I'd like to focus on the pineal gland.

The pineal gland is considered by some to literally be the "third eye" of humans, and is responsible for spiritual experiences and near-death experiences (NDEs) among humans (as well as moderating the human sleep cycle via melatonin). You could say that the pineal gland is the internal gateway from our usual human perception of reality to the endless multitude of facets of reality; it's our spiritual medium.

And then there's fluoride. Fluoride is everywhere, from your toothpaste to your tap water; they even give it to young students in public schools as if it's candy. However, an adverse effect of fluoride is that it calcifies the pineal gland, which inhibits its spiritual abilities, thus the spiritual disconnect that we've seen in postmodern society, as the use of fluoride use grows.

Now let's connect the dots. Our spiritual senses are shut off by the calcification of our pineal glands caused by the consuming of fluoride, which explains why we've observed a steady rise in atheism in postmodern society. It appears that people are now more willing to only accept what they can consciously see, hear, and feel, which is why people are unwilling to accept the idea of any sort of infinite, metaphysical deity.


I'll immediately start using my alkaline water generator - I'm sure that'll see me right.
11 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Via FSTDT Conspiracy Theorists pages - THE REAL CAUSE OF ATHEISM UNEARTHED!!! (Original Post) intaglio May 2014 OP
WTF? Too far...this is just too far out TxDemChem May 2014 #1
Well who are we to question his beliefs? JoeyT May 2014 #2
Dental health is the tool of Satan! deucemagnet May 2014 #3
"Dr. Strangelove" - Fluoridation John1956PA May 2014 #4
Pure grain alcohol and rain water. Jokerman May 2014 #6
That explains so much! Jokerman May 2014 #5
Sapping his precious fluids! AtheistCrusader May 2014 #7
That's a classic Poe. onager May 2014 #8
Given this is a Shroomers blog I don't think poe intaglio May 2014 #10
I thought it was measels vaccinations! Arugula Latte May 2014 #9
Science to the rescue. Curmudgeoness May 2014 #11

deucemagnet

(4,549 posts)
3. Dental health is the tool of Satan!
Sat May 3, 2014, 08:51 AM
May 2014

This explains West Virginia.

[font size=1](I live in WV, I'm allowed to say that.)[/font size]

Jokerman

(3,518 posts)
5. That explains so much!
Sat May 3, 2014, 10:15 AM
May 2014

I grew up in a town that had natural occurring fluoride in the ground water and I've always been an atheist.

I'm sure that it had nothing to do with the fact that my parents raised me without the hint of religious indoctrination and with a healthy respect for different ideas.

But wait, maybe it had more to do with them teaching me to question authority and to seek and respect knowledge.

Then again, most of the rest of the fluoride drinking residents of my home town are hardcore, blindly obedient, fundamentalist goofballs.

Shit, that fluoride theory doesn't explain a damn thing!

onager

(9,356 posts)
8. That's a classic Poe.
Sat May 3, 2014, 02:24 PM
May 2014

I can't tell if it's real or not. I suspect "not," because it's such an obvious reference to Dr. Strangelove.

OTOH, Fluoride Paranoia has always been a feature of the Nut Right in America. I think even they eventually got embarassed by it. But they do have a habit of recycling their fave fetishes every few decades, so I wouldn't be surprised to see a resurgence of Fluoride Paranoia.

Random Ejaculations: one of the "Dr. Strangelove" writers was the great & weird Terry Southern.

Around the same time, Southern also wrote an awesome exercise in cinematic bad taste, "The Loved One," based on Evelyn Waugh's book about his time in Hollywood. Anyone who hasn't seen that one needs to. Trust me, you'll NEVER forget Mrs. Joyboy...

You have to listen carefully for some of the zingers in "The Loved One," but they're worth it. e.g., the desserts in the studio canteen include "Goldwater Nut Flip."

intaglio

(8,170 posts)
10. Given this is a Shroomers blog I don't think poe
Sat May 3, 2014, 02:51 PM
May 2014

Shroomery and others make regular appearances in CSTDT

Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)
11. Science to the rescue.
Sat May 3, 2014, 06:54 PM
May 2014

I knew science was the way we would get answers. I have wrongly assumed that the reason more people are non-believers these days is because we now had answers to a lot of the questions that religion tried to answer. We now know why volcanos erupt and why there are eclipses. Who would have thought that science would provide us with the "calcification of the pineal gland" as the reason.

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