Atheists & Agnostics

onager

(9,356 posts) Thu Jun 19, 2014, 05:56 PM Jun 2014

Govt. conspiracy hides ancient Egyptian missionaries in Arizona!1!

Damn, those ancient Egyptians really got around.

On the History Channel recently, I learned that the Egyptians brought their worship of Ra The Sun God to the Native Americans in Arizona. Where they also buried a load of treasure in the Grand Canyon.

A treasure which may have included the Ark of the Covenant!1! Well, sure, why not drag the Jews into this mess too, along with Egyptians and the Native Americans?

Then the Egyptians migrated from Arizona to Illinois. Why? I dunno. But in Illinois they buried ANOTHER big treasure of ancient Egyptian artifacts.

And more Ra-The-Sun-God icons. Including gold plates, WHICH WE COULD SEE RIGHT ON THE TV! Well, no, we were really seeing "exact replicas" of the original plates, which regrettably went missing and can't be found.

Anyone familiar with a certain Utah-based religious corporation may be getting a sense of deja vu about now.

But the funniest part of this atrocity was the govt conspiracy at the Grand Canyon. The woo-meisters, in a small helicopter, wanted to go down and check out the location of their Treasure Cave.

We soon learn, with much outraged ranting, that "the government" banned the flight. Clearly we are supposed to believe the govt. is covering something up. Like a big Egyptian treasure.

Well, no. The specific govt. agency was the FAA. Which bans all flights below certain altitudes in the Grand Canyon. And for very good reason - they're dangerous.

So, Mr. Woo-meister, the govt. was only "conspiring" to keep from having to drag your sorry dead ass out of that canyon if you crashed. Idiot.

Anyone who wants to enjoy this for themselves, just search for "America Unearthed - Grand Canyon Treasure."

Meanwhile, back in the real world - last week the excellent Smithsonian Channel show "Air Disasters" covered the horrendous 1956 air collision over the Grand Canyon. That involved 2 large commercial aircraft, a United DC-7 and a TWA Constellation. The look back at air traffic control procedures in 1956 is jaw-dropping. As one expert put it: "The problem wasn't that the system was broken. The problem was that a system didn't exist."

6 replies

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Govt. conspiracy hides ancient Egyptian missionaries in Arizona!1! (Original Post) onager Jun 2014 OP

Should just let them fly in. Couple years and the wreck will rust away. AtheistCrusader Jun 2014 #1

the unhistory channel. Warren Stupidity Jun 2014 #2

That's absurd. Jokerman Jun 2014 #3

Adding insult to injury... onager Jun 2014 #4

They sold out years ago. Jokerman Jun 2014 #6

Damn, those ancient Egyptians really got around. AlbertCat Jun 2014 #5

AtheistCrusader

(33,982 posts)

1. Should just let them fly in. Couple years and the wreck will rust away.

Reply to onager (Original post)

Thu Jun 19, 2014, 06:42 PM

Jun 2014

I stopped watching the History Channel years ago. They just flat-out make shit up now.

Warren Stupidity

(48,181 posts)

2. the unhistory channel.

Reply to onager (Original post)

Thu Jun 19, 2014, 07:26 PM

Jun 2014

We are about to replicate the situation circa 1956 with a million drones in the sky all the time. We don't have a system for that.

Jokerman

(3,518 posts)

3. That's absurd.

Reply to onager (Original post)

Thu Jun 19, 2014, 07:56 PM

Jun 2014

Everyone knows that it wasn't the Egyptians.

It was bigfoot who crashed in his UFO full of stolen Egyptian treasures!

So sad that the "History" Channel could sink so low.

onager

(9,356 posts)

4. Adding insult to injury...

Reply to Jokerman (Reply #3)

Thu Jun 19, 2014, 08:57 PM

Jun 2014

That show was basically a 1-hour commercial for the woo-meister. I discovered that by using my extensive academic research sources (Google).

The woo-meister runs a company called "Alexander Helios," prominently mentioned in the show. Because Alexander Helios, woo-meister claims, was the leader of the Egyptian expedition to America.

Is that making sense so far? I didn't think so.

Alexander Helios was the son of Marc Antony and Cleopatra VII. Conveniently for the world's crap-crafters, he's one of those people who "dropped from the pages of history." Along with his little brother Ptolemy Philadelphus.

But we can be pretty sure who got them dropped from history, most likely via sudden and unnatural demises - Octavian/Caesar Augustus. Those two could have raised all kinds of Hades if they escaped from Rome and got back to Egypt. Sons of extremely popular Egyptian rulers, living symbols of the fight against Roman domination, etc. etc.

Even real historians aren't sure about the 2 boys. Some say they were already dead by the time their sister, Cleopatra Selene, was married off. But Cassius Dio says their lives were a wedding present to their sister, guaranteed by Augustus himself. Not that Augustus ever reneged on a promise or anything...cough...

So I guess it is quite possible one of them ended up in Illinois. And/or Arizona.

And now I'm off to file my claim to Scotland as a living descendant of Bonnie Prince Charlie. Though I may be willing to settle for Edinburgh.

Jokerman

(3,518 posts)

6. They sold out years ago.

Reply to onager (Reply #4)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 09:34 AM

Jun 2014

I seem to remember a news story from several years back about the History Channel seeking corporate sponsorship for the production of new programming. Not particularly surprising that the sponsored productions would turn into shameless plugs for the sponsor.

And to hell with settling for Edinburgh. Claim it all!

I'd love to have even a small piece of the massive Midwestern farm that my Great-Great Granddad owned in the 1800's. I could open a bed and breakfast and claim that "Alexander Helios Slept Here".

AlbertCat

(17,505 posts)

5. Damn, those ancient Egyptians really got around.

Reply to onager (Original post)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 09:31 AM

Jun 2014

Well it's all the Ancient Astronaut technology run by the big batteries in the Pyramids.... the same ones that ran their fridges and air conditioners

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