Atheists & Agnostics
Related: About this forumbeam me up scottie
(57,349 posts)Reminds me of this quote:
~ Gene Roddenberry
bvf
(6,604 posts)Free will + god's plan = ?
This smacks of division by zero.
littlemissmartypants
(22,692 posts)beam me up scottie
(57,349 posts)I used to rotate authors but I think Carl Sagan's here to stay.
Delver Rootnose
(250 posts)....hello Cthulhu gif. Oh crap my auto correct just corrected my spelling of Cthulhu and capitalized it.
The dark one is moving up the pantheon if auto correct recognizes him and know to capitalize.. When it bolds and puts it in all caps then we know he has won.
Lol
Funny thing is the Apple iPad auto corrected it but it doesn't pass the DU spell checker. Who knew DU is run by Cthulhu heritics.
onager
(9,356 posts)beam me up scottie
(57,349 posts)I like that in a man.
"lusty tentacles" ?
beam me up scottie
(57,349 posts)I borrowed it from an absent friend years ago and kept it as a tribute.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
May the mighty Cthulhu awake to smite the infidels!
deucemagnet
(4,549 posts)littlemissmartypants
(22,692 posts)littlemissmartypants
(22,692 posts)I'm going to be struck by lightning now aren't I?
DetlefK
(16,423 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)Glorfindel
(9,730 posts)"... a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hellmouths mercy and invented hellmouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!"
And by the way, he needs money. Lots of money.
bvf
(6,604 posts)never "The Mysterious Stranger." Intending to read it now. Thanks, Glorfindel!
Glorfindel
(9,730 posts)Always my pleasure to share.
bvf
(6,604 posts)"God's Song (That's Why I Love Mankind)"
Cain slew Abel, Seth knew not why
For if the children of Israel were to multiply
Why must any of the children die?
So he asked the Lord
And the Lord said:
Man means nothing, he means less to me
Than the lowliest cactus flower
Or the humblest Yucca tree
He chases round this desert
'Cause he thinks that's where I'll be
That's why I love mankind
I recoil in horror from the foulness of thee
From the squalor and the filth and the misery
How we laugh up here in heaven at the prayers you offer me
That's why I love mankind
The Christians and the Jews were having a jamboree
The Buddhists and the Hindus joined on satellite TV
They picked their four greatest priests
And they began to speak
They said, "Lord, a plague is on the world
Lord, no man is free
The temples that we built to you
Have tumbled into the sea
Lord, if you won't take care of us
Won't you please, please let us be?"
And the Lord said
And the Lord said
I burn down your cities-how blind you must be
I take from you your children and you say how blessed are we
You all must be crazy to put your faith in me
That's why I love mankind
You really need me
That's why I love mankind
Delver Rootnose
(250 posts)...I read step one as 'make hummus'. Which I thought was a great starting point. Downhill from there though.
riqster
(13,986 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)On the third day, he made baby carrots.
valerief
(53,235 posts)Snarkoleptic
(5,997 posts)(cue sound of sad trombone)
http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-other-gods-who-have-forsaken-you-917
7 Other Gods Who Have Forsaken You
The piece hilariously begins with Osiris.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)'cuz Kitties.
progressoid
(49,991 posts)Cheesy, but cute.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)You should put a copy of the Egyptian Book of the Dead in between 'em.
Gelliebeans
(5,043 posts)onager
(9,356 posts)While living in Egypt, I was told this by an Actual Egyptian - a woman with a degree in Egyptian History:
In ancient Egypt, little statues of Bastet were used to distract people in pain. Especially women giving birth, and teething babies.
That use led to one of the common pet names - no pun intended - for Bastet: the ancient Egyptian equivalent of "funny face."
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)He was a big baby and "sunny side up," which translated into massive back pain, 24-hours of labor, about five hours of pushing, and other stuff which you don't want to know. My husband tried to distract me by having me focus on a photo of our our kitties, especially our little female, who had a fuzzy white belly, which I loved immensely. He was freaking out: "Look at her fuzzy belly! Look at her fuzzy belly!" (said in a high-pitched, panicked, oh-my-fucking-gawd-I-think-my-wife-is-going-to-die-in-childbirth voice).
Funny only in the retrospect of many years ..
edhopper
(33,587 posts)after a couple of thousand years of God being a continuing presence in the lives of a select group of people, they proclaim he's done with all that so don't look for anything more.
Keeps their version of things going for the foreseeable future.