The story I like the best goes like this:

It had been raining for days and was too miserable to hunt and people were hungry. A man (or woman) walked to the cave entrance, stuck out a hand, and yelled "DAMMIT STOP RAINING!" and the clouds finally parted.

And so the first high priest was born.

If it has to be cake, put fruit and whipped cream or ice cream on it.

Or give me pie.

I know, this religion is kind of old, which came first? Cake or pie?

Were you there?