They never take their thoughts to their logical conclusion.

How do they know?

Maybe this poor kid's parents went to that other place because they were... doing stuff that a god does't approve of. (Like being a shitty pilot, or worse.)

Not to cast aspersions (or asparagus) on the pilot, but over 90% of plane crashes are chocked up to pilot error along the way, taking bad risks, not attending to the weather or other conditions, etc.

After the death of my infant son, many years ago, people would try to comfort me by telling me he was in "a better place". I just wanted to scream at them that "NO, HE ISN'T. HE'S DEAD"!!!! Or they would say that he was so special that gawd wanted him back. Or, he's with the angels now. Or, a dozen other inane pronouncements from people pretending to know why gawd took my baby.

Just a hint for those who don't know what else to say, just say I'm so sorry. Is there any way I can help.

I am so sorry that you had such a great loss. I agree that people mean well, and people who are believers may actually believe what they are saying, although I think that if they were in the same position, they would not think that God had made a very good choice in taking their child.

I have had losses, but the ones that you expect---parents, a brother, all my aunts and uncles. And yet, I cringe every time I hear someone say those "comforting" comments, and not just to me but to anyone. Better place, my ass.

to the people who still want their family here instead of on a cloud, scrubbing a harp.

And even if you keep your trap shut and just stare at them, they're just so hurt.

I wish there were a way to retrain them to follow your suggestion, which is a great one.

I'm so sorry for your loss. But I thought some other people might find this stuff tacky and annoying. It sure bothered me on the occasions I've had to put up with it. I just spent a month in my home state of South Carolina, where this Reflexive Xianity is as common as fire-ants and just about as irritating.

I've heard claims that the religious boilerplate is supposed to help the sorrowing deal with their pain. But some kinds of pain are so huge they aren't easily dealt with.

This came across on a TV show I recently saw, about the brutal murder of a young child. The TV Talking Head started blathering about "finding closure." The grieving parent shut that right off, saying something like: "There's no such thing as closure for me. I live with this every day of my life. And I always will."

will seek out unbelievers exactly because they know they will not have to listen to that particular palaver.

I'm sorry that you grieve even now. How can I help?

is in a better place, I just want to say, yes in a better place if you consider 6 feet under a better place.

I will have to see the giant hand of God pick that little girl up and deliver her to a hospital on the wings of angels. All seen by hundreds of witnesses (me included). "Luck" is not a miracle. It was luck that this plane went down close enough to a house, and that this house had lights on that could be seen. Luck is random.

I also have a hard time listening to the miracle wishers. It always makes me think of all the missing miracles....why some are saved while others are not. It makes it seem as if God is playing favorites, and to be honest, too many of the vilest people are still breathing while some good people and innocent babes are dead. It just makes no sense. God's will.

Why Wont God Heal Amputees?

What resiliency children have. And medical science is awesome. God, not so much.

Of course if you eliminate god from the equation altogether, the mystery just evaporates.