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Warren Stupidity

(48,181 posts)
Tue Feb 24, 2015, 12:01 PM Feb 2015

Building a Better Parody: The Flying Spaghetti Monster and Sex Worker Stigma

The issue was raised in a forum overwhelmed with ghotes and toxic internecine warfare.


About a month ago, Kate Donovan wrote a post making aNo Flying Spaghetti Monster good case that it’s time to ditch the whole Flying Spaghetti Monster thing, and I’m inclined to agree with her. Partly because it’s served its purpose, but mostly because it incorporates sexism and homophobia into its mythology. Specifically, she points out some passages in The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, by Bobby Henderson, which describe the rewards of the Pastafarian afterlife as including a stripper factory and a beer volcano:

We’d like to tell you all about our Heaven, which features a Stripper Factory and a giant Beer Volcano.

[….]
Q: If there’s a Beer Volcano and a Stripper Factory in Heaven, what’s FSM Hell like?

A: We’re not entirely certain, but we imagine it’s similar to FSM Heaven, only the beer is stale and the strippers have venereal diseases. Not unlike Las Vegas.

The strippers aren’t all women, of course, but straight men aren’t required to get rid of their homophobia in Pastafarian heaven:

Q: Are there male strippers in FSM Heaven for women?
A: Probably, but they are invisible to the non-homo guys.

Note two things in that passage: first, heterosexuality is the norm in Pastafarian Heaven. And second, homophobia is assumed to be the default; if straight men have to look upon the icky sexual desires of heterosexual women or gay men, it can’t be heaven. Bi, trans, and genderqueer people aren’t even anywhere in the equation. For someone like me, who’s perpetually curious about other people’s sexualities because it expands the way I see my own, it sounds like hell.


http://www.godlessperverts.com/building-a-better-parody-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-and-sex-worker-stigma/
6 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Building a Better Parody: The Flying Spaghetti Monster and Sex Worker Stigma (Original Post) Warren Stupidity Feb 2015 OP
WTF? trotsky Feb 2015 #1
ghote fuckers GeorgeGist Feb 2015 #2
^this comment is useless without a gif^ Warren Stupidity Feb 2015 #4
just wait until they hear about the 72 virgins other religions get Lordquinton Feb 2015 #3
Read all about it, infidel... onager Feb 2015 #5
"penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal". AlbertCat Feb 2015 #6

trotsky

(49,533 posts)
1. WTF?
Tue Feb 24, 2015, 12:42 PM
Feb 2015

"invisible to the non-homo guys?" Nice homophobia there. Well if they wanted to make Pastafarianism like a true religion, they're on the right track I guess.

Lordquinton

(7,886 posts)
3. just wait until they hear about the 72 virgins other religions get
Tue Feb 24, 2015, 04:38 PM
Feb 2015

Maybe they should alter it, and maybe they should go overboard defending the problematic bits to cement it's status as a true religion.

onager

(9,356 posts)
5. Read all about it, infidel...
Wed Feb 25, 2015, 12:31 AM
Feb 2015
It is quoted by Ibn Kathir, in his Qur'anic Commentary, the Tafsir ibn Kathir, they are graphically described by Qur'anic commentator and polymath, al-Suyuti (died 1505), who, echoing a hasan hadith from Ibn Majah, wrote that the perpetual virgins will all "have appetizing vaginas", and that the "penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal".

The sensual pleasures between believers and houri in Paradise are also confirmed by the two Sahih collections of hadith, namely Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, where we read that they will be virgins who are so beautiful, pure and transparent that "the marrow of the bones of their legs will be seen through the bones and the flesh", and that "the believers will visit and enjoy them".

http://wikiislam.net/wiki/72_Virgins

Anyone who wants some...interesting reading should take a gander at the Bukhari hadiths.Generally considered the most authoritative collection by "mainstream" Muslims.

Wouldn't want to post any spoilers...but let's just say that, in addition to virginity and Appetizing Vaginas, those hadiths have a very intense focus on human excretory functions.
 

AlbertCat

(17,505 posts)
6. "penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal".
Wed Feb 25, 2015, 01:16 AM
Feb 2015

Should you have an erection lasting more than 4 eternities, please consult your polymath.

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