Or in Frankie The Wonder Pope's case Sour D'oh!!!

Who makes this tripe up?

Minor variation on the old wheeze about "a God-shaped hole in our hearts."

Great marketing, though. Create a non-existent need, then sell it to the suckers. Guaranteed to work for chewing gum, cosmetics or Jesus.

Yeah.... but is he gluten free?



More poetry.... that cannot be explained what it means concretely.... even by the Pope.

Unless it just means: "You don't want to die, so the myth of an afterlife is easier to accept if there's a friendly, deathless guy to remind you of the fantasy."


But don't let Jesus into your heart. There's just not enough room and you will have cardiac problems.

Amazing how a food allergy can undermine a core tenant of a major religion.

Catholic Communion and Celiac Disease: the Options

We don't want heretics distributing false Jesus wafers after all.

Are you calling the nuns heretics now? The blasphemy in this group just never ends!!!

Who tried to stand up to papal authority.

to the body of Christ. That shit needs gluten, I'm telling you.

with God, all things are possible. You are right, the church agrees with you that there must be gluten. ("Catholic Church states that Communion bread must be made of only wheat and water with "sufficient gluten to attain the confection of bread,"...)

But this is where it gets hinkey. "The host is made from gelatinized wheat starch. The hosts have been tested for the presence of gluten. According to the Sisters, they were tested to a level of 0.01% gluten."

You remember that old mustard seed quote, right? We aren't talking about the quantity needing to be significant. It don't require much to transmute.....just a molecule. (Yes, I think it says that in the Bible.)

I never was catholic, but the brittle wafers reminded me more of uncooked spaghetti than bread. OMG, FSM!

Is the Pope talking about Twinkies?

... the peperoni pizza of life.

I think I like my quote better.

before Jesus, and the Neanderthals who co-existed with these humans? Not only were they alive before The Son of Man was born after the Sky God raped a virgin in Judea, they probably mostly ate paleo. I mean, what is fair about that?

The Earth is only 6000 years old, and anyone who says differently is a big fat liar.

Well at least the light parts that didn't get charred!

That's pretty detailed.

I love Alice Cooper.

Makes just as much sense to me.

once in a while I fall back on the easy and comfortable and have some toast

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So the next sunday he took the monsignor's advice. at the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:

- sip the vodka, don't gulp

- there are 10 commandments, not 12

- there are 12 disciples, not 10

- Jesus was consecrated, not constipated

- Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not beat his ass

- we do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

- The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and Spook

- when Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say "eat me."

- the Virgin Mary is not referred to as the "mary with the cherry"

- the recommended grace before a meal is not: "rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yea God."

- next sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's