No, Jim Bob Duggar. Your Claim That Children Are A Gift From God Is A Dangerous Lie.
November 22, 2015 by Peter Mosley

Recently, Jim Bob Duggar wrote an open letter to fathers (nevermind the mothers, it seems — the father is the person who is supposed to be the one in charge of the whole household) that has some heartbreaking content. He says that his wife was on birth control pills, but that they weren’t aware that the pills could cause a miscarriage.

What isn’t heartbreaking, and is pretty disconcerting, is that after the miscarriage, they decided to “give this area” to God and see children as His gifts. Which, once it’s translated out of Christianeze, means that when Jim Bob wants to have sex, they have sex, and always without birth control because the child (in spite of it being a direct result of Jim Bob deciding to have sex) is a gift from God. And yeah, it’s when Jim Bob wants to have sex that sex is had. As his wife once put it:

(Wives should) be available (for sex), and not just available, but be joyfully available for him. Smile and be willing to say, “Yes, sweetie I am here for you,” no matter what, even though you may be exhausted and big pregnant and you may not feel like he feels. “I’m still here for you and I’m going to meet that need because I know it’s a need for you.”

I have some experience with this theology, having been brought up in a similar tradition. And, this business about children being a gift from God is dangerous bullshit, for at least a couple reasons.

First, it takes the decisions as to whether or not you’re going to have children out of your hands and puts them into a standard decided by an imaginary being who has no grasp on the reality of your situation. Jim Bob specifically states in his letter that he and his wife decided not to wait until they were “financially able” to have children or until they “had all [their] ducks in a row.” No. This was a blessing from God, who was in control of all those circumstances — so, the message goes, you can and should ignore all those circumstances and trust in God, letting him plan your family.

What I hate about this message is that it lays a guilt trip on families that are not as well off as the Duggars, or families in which a pregnancy might result in severe health problems and risks for the mother. It portrays them as not accepting God’s gift — giving them the false idea that if God didn’t want them to have a child, He would keep them from getting pregnant. I also hate that it basically drafts women into service to have children, regardless of their personal desires or their personal goals. The great God and Ruler of the universe is trying to give you this gift of children, the message goes. Who are you to refuse?

Much more at http://www.patheos.com/blogs/barrierbreaker/no-jim-bob-duggar-your-claim-that-children-are-a-gift-from-god-is-a-dangerous-lie