AND I looked forward to getting home. I curled up with a book and some hot chocolate, myself.

but I love to curl up with a good book, my cats beside me.

Usually a good chunk of my family (anywhere from 18-25) meets at my Mom's for informal dinner, dessert, presents for the kids etc. We all get along fine and I love all of them. Last week my Mom had a minor stroke and while basically ok, it was felt we should postpone the gathering until she's more up to it all. I have to confess I was delighted to not have to do the get together thing. My husband and I took our 2 dogs to the dog beach for a few hours, came home and relaxed. It was great! I know there will still be some kind of belated Christmas thing, but I really enjoyed just staying home yesterday. I totally understand what you are saying.

Whenever I get together with what's left of my family since my parents died. I'm a nervous wreck and 'drink too much. Then the next day I'm embarrassed for what I might have said.

I so want it to be like in the movies, tv and ads, but it never is. The beautifully decorated homes, the wonderful presents, the glowing fire in the fireplace - but mostly the love love love. I've never had a xmas like that - I wonder who has if anyone?

But even if the tree was a Linus, it was still a tree - and ours. If you consider child-made decorations beautiful, fine. We did have an heirloom creche scene, but otherwise it was homemade kid stuff. Beautiful presents? By the standards of the day and our station in life, yes; largely career military families, most of us barely middle class if that when you consider family size. In our family every kid got a complete new set of clothes to wear to Mass and one major toy. Love, yes, although we tended to be a scrappy bunch when Dad was away on a tour of duty. I guess we were mostly happy because we didn't really know another way of life.

Now I don't really mind spending the holidays alone because of lifelong habits. As Dear Abby used to say, better to be alone than to wish you were. I'm happy with who and what I am at this age; it's uncomfortable when other people try to fit me into their own preconceived notions. I can wish them the best and bid them a fond farewell.

I'm always glad when the holidays are over. Luckily, mostly I spend them by myself.