In my 63 years, I've met a few people that fit that profile, at least in part. Since our "news" outlets have been converted to profit centers for the infortainment business, it is both difficult to rely on them to be factual in their reporting, and easy to see how an NPD asshole like Trump would be a cash cow for them.

After all, our society has been feeding the NPD beast for decades with all of the "reality" shows that thrive on content including bullying, boorish behavior, and outright dysfunctional relationships. Hell, that WAS Trump a few years ago, host ahd head asshole in h is own reality TV show.

I, too, fear for what his minions will do after the election. I don't think it will be close enough to steal, and Trump is definitely NOT one who will be a gracious loser. He's more of a:

type.

Trump thrives on publicity of any kind. The whole world revolves around him, so even if he's criticized, at least he's being paid attention. I have a sister-in-law who I am convinced has NPD and she is absolutely impossible to get along with (and fortunately she now lives in a distant state so I don't have to deal with her). She brags incessantly about herself - her education, her "expertise" in her field, her generosity - she likes to donate to some local charities but she makes damn sure everybody knows she did it and praises her accordingly. If you challenge her about anything at all she flies into an irrational rage because she can't stand ever being wrong. If you successfully prove a fact she claimed wasn't a fact she resorts to personal insults (I have a nice collection of emails full of those). She's a horrible person and a racist - she moved to a particular part of the U.S. because there are hardly any black people in the area - and she specifically said this was a reason. Not surprisingly, she's also a Trump-supporting Republican. Watching Trump and his bizarre flights of egomania just reminds me of my awful SIL. I'm sorry you've had to deal with a mother with this disorder; it must have been very difficult.

Nadine, you are perfectly on target. I publish letters monthly in my local papers on politics. My August one is going to expose the narcissistic personality of DT. Like you, I am the daughter of a narc mother. DONM Danu Morrigan calls us. She is an Irish lass and helps me greatly. I only broke with my own 2 years ago at 63. Could not take the abuse any longer. In doing so, I lost all my family except for one brother. They are all sucked into her vortex. My Mother is so fucked up, she became anorexic in her 70s just for the attention. Now she likes to use a wheelchair even tho she is perfectly able to walk. Every morning she wakes up brand new. Whatever she did the day before is wiped out. No guilt, no shame, no apologies BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED.

DT thinks only of himself, in his world there is no one else. Others orbit around his sun. All attention is good, even if it is hideous to us. Unlike my mother, he is also dumb. He has no ability to even pretend or study how to be normal.

I cannot tolerate folks who support him. They are going to destroy our country with him. The R party will burn itself into the ground and for that I am greatful to him.

I have a question for you. My mother is 85 now, and I am so torn about attending her funeral when the time comes. What do you think?

It has been amazing to see I am not alone, I am not crazy and these people (narcs) exist.

My mom has serious medical issues which has always made the idea of going no contact with her difficult, she truly has something wrong with her. She has survived multiple brain aneurysm ruptures - each time the doctors have said she should be dead. Holy crap does that feed into her feeling of special-ness.

On the topic of the funeral - this is so hard. I am an only child and my mom has pushed away so many people that the burden of handling her arrangements are going to be on me. Like you, the abuse I suffered from her was so intense that I am still dealing with it. Thankfully the therapist I see is the son of a narc father so he gets it - he has really helped me recognize the disorder and how it has affected everything in my life. He has told me that when my mom dies (if she dies - I swear she is immortal) of course I will feel sadness, but also a sense of relief and that is an ok feeling to have - doesn't mean I am some kind of monster.

Many DONM grow up to be extremely compassionate and empathetic adults, which makes it so hard to understand how our moms have no feelings for others. I keep trying to project how I would feel in a certain situation to how my mom would feel and I am always surprised that she feels nothing.

The hardest thing for me to accept is that deep down I am a good person (years of being told by your mom that you are evil, mean, worthless etc really sunk in) and that being a caring good person is the core of who I am. I care about others genuinely, not because I fear disapproval or out of guilt - it doesn't matter if they are friends, strangers, or even 'bad' people. I am 100% a people pleaser but caring about others is separate from that. When my mom needs help, I really have to ask myself - am I helping her out of guilt, fear of the narcissistic rage, for approval not just from her but from others to be seen as the "good" daughter, or because I truly want to help her.

My therapist and friends and spouse all say walk away, that I have done enough and she doesn't deserve it. I have always resisted and reacted strongly and never could really figure out why. And then I realized that completely turning my back on her in times of need (like real need - ie hospitalization vs just attention) goes against the core of who I am. If she were a stranger and had no one else, I would help her. And by turning my back on her - that is allowing her bad behavior to change who I am. If I am reacting out of genuine compassion, then I have to be true to who I am, even if it seems counter-productive.

This is a super convoluted and rambling way to answer your question, but I wanted you to understand where I am coming from. When it comes time to attend your mother's funeral, ask yourself why you are doing it - are you going out of that guilt or fear that has been instilled for so long, that need to prove to others that you are not "horrible" for missing your mom's funeral. If that is the reason, then you are still being manipulated by her and I would say don't go.

But if you are going for a reason that is true to who you are, or maybe even to make sure she is really dead (which would in part be my reason) and she can't hurt you anymore - then go. Go because YOU want to - not because it is expected or what others would want. Either way is truly ok, and if other people in your life can't (or won't) understand your decision, screw them. It will be ok to be relieved or happy or sad or whatever combination of emotions you will feel. No one who isn't a DONM can truly understand how much fricking emotional abuse and trauma you have experienced. You have been denied the right to be your own person, to have your own feelings, to not be the emotional supply for a sick person.

People who marry or date narcs think they know, but they can't know what it is like to have your entire childhood - your personality molded through the years at the hands of someone incapable of true emotion.

Whew I went on a long tangent - I am sorry - probably should have sent this as a message. It's just your post really resonated and hit on that issue - the upcoming death of my mom, that I have been struggling with myself recently.

Much love and hugs to you

I had never heard the term DONM before, I am one of those as well.

It's so important to share our experiences, even if just for the observers who may not engage but feel less alone when they see discussions like this.

I won't attend my mother's funeral. I mourned what she might have been years ago.

It's not easy, thank you again

What I Believe: Trump must be crushed. Not just beaten, broken.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12512368249

If Trump gets smoked, it goes beyond "cheating" - it wasn't close. You'll still have the wackos on the fringe believing he got ripped off but most folks will accept that he was clobbered. The media will be all over it, gloating over another "big man" they took down, showing him as a beaten man even if he's looking in the mirror in narcissistic denial. His narcissistic words will ring hollow to most. He will be branded a loser and quietly slink away to resume his delusions of grandeur in private - where no one can burst that fantasy bubble of great self-affection.

You nailed it with your post. Had a family member who was NPD,and when Trump came along and I first heard him speak,bang,alarm bells went off. It has been almost twenty years since seeing this family member,whom passed away at that time frame,and every thing you describe brings back issues of that time frame.

Trump seems to fit the profile,and he will go all in just to save face. The man has zero empathy for anyone other than himself. Interesting how he plays the victim.

Nadine, I would like to write to you off of this thread. When I went to that link, it said I had not posted enough. Is there another way to do this? My Mother told me from the time I was 2 years old I was ugly and stupid. She is your Mother, you believe her. Turns out she was wrong !! But it took me moving out at 18 to discover that. Her tentacles are long, no matter the geography. I am on the DEM Exec Board in my County, and have a meeting today. So no time today. I will keep in touch.

But these folks on here are getting educated as to who DT is. We don't hand the highest office in the land to someone this messed up. He is 70. I always tell people as mean as my Mother was at 20, she got worse at 4o and at 80 unbearable. There is no pill for this disorder, it is permanent.

And you are right, we have ended up the opposite of our Mothers, super sensitive, but that is a curse from them, too.

I think Nadine can write directly to you, if she hasn't already

Maybe we should start a group eh?

that you are spot on.

Thank you for doing such a good job describing the problem.

He has zero empathy, and he thrives on attention -- any attention. And he's able to suck people in. We should all be frightened about what he could do if he became President.

You must have had a difficult childhood. I can't imagine a narcissist as a parent. I don't think you are full of shit...it is clear you understand what is going on here...I have known a few narcissist and they tend to make people believe others around them are at fault. People believe them at first. They can be very charming and convincing...I shudder to think of what you must have gone through.