“Calling Dr. Frist …

… Dr. Frist, please pick up.”

Browsing through several political websites today, I was struck by how many people, with no medical education or training at all, have suddenly become experts at diagnosing HRC based on “evidence” literally pulled out of their asses.

While it is always wise to seek a second opinion when dealing with any potentially serious illness, the problem here is that we’re into the realm of literally hundreds of differing opinions proffered by people whose medical expertise comes down to having watched House, St. Elsewhere and Grey’s Anatomy, and own a boxed set of two seasons of Marcus Welby episodes.

Thus far, Hillary has been “diagnosed” with epilepsy, Parkinson’s, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer’s, dementia, and brain damage – along with many maladies too numerous to mention. She is also incontinent, has to be “propped up with pillows” due to her inability to hold herself upright, falls down regularly, needs assistance to walk, often loses her ability to speak, is partially blind, partially deaf, coughs, gets dry-mouth, and is basically losing her mind as her bodily functions continue to shut down.

Now, anyone with common sense (and without a need to push a particularly ridiculous political agenda) would assume that being a presidential candidate, Hillary’s health is closely monitored by actual, real-life medical professionals. So one is left to wonder how they all somehow missed the symptoms that are so blatantly obvious to everyone who ever played Operation as a kid.

Given all of the aforementioned, and given how widespread the “Hillary at death’s door!” story has been over the past few months, today’s incident at the 9/11 memorial service was immediately declared proof positive that HRC’s Parkinson’s-Alzheimer’s-MS-dementia-epilepsy-brain damage was a reality that can no longer be ignored.

Needless to say, no sooner had the confirmation by her doctor that HRC has pneumonia been announced than the would-be Marcus Welbys of the internet confirmed their own diagnosis: Hillary is indeed suffering from every disease currently known to man, and the Democratic party is engaging in the biggest “cover up” in history by keeping the citizenry in the dark about the fact that the Grim Reaper is breathing down her neck.

A perfect example of this mentality can be found at JPR – the place where True Progressives ™ gather to discuss conspiracy theories that the average Freeper scoffs at as being downright moran-ish.

According to the fine folks at JPR, the Evil Oligarchs – who are, of course, TPTB in the Democratic Party – are desperately trying to keep a lid on the fact that Hillary is Terry Schiavo all over again, because they would rather see a brain-dead woman as POTUS than the man she “stole” the nomination from.

As one astute JPR poster described his disbelief of the "Hillary has pneumonia" cover-up story: “How stupid do they think we are?” Well, the obvious answer is that we think you’re as stupid as you’ve demonstrated yourselves to be – and no doctor was called, no diagnostic tests were necessary. Your stupidity is so glaringly apparent, it requires no further investigation.

I personally have no diagnosis that would explain why some formerly rational people have become so unhinged as to believe some of the most bizarre theories ever devised – but I suspect that constantly pulling said theories out of one’s ass eventually leads to diminished mental capacity.

Well, that's my diagnosis - and I'm sticking to it.



Oh, and ignore the page, Dr. Frist. Your services are no longer needed. You've been replaced.