Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

dsc

(52,162 posts)
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 10:48 AM Oct 2016

I admit that as a gay man who isn't very athletic I can't hold myself as an expert on locker rooms

but is this what really is talked about in them? I mean gay bars aren't exactly monistaries but even there we don't talk about forcing ourselves upon men. Is this really a thing?

22 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I admit that as a gay man who isn't very athletic I can't hold myself as an expert on locker rooms (Original Post) dsc Oct 2016 OP
I have been in many locker rooms lapfog_1 Oct 2016 #1
I was in PE until a sophomore in high school dsc Oct 2016 #7
I am straight GulfCoast66 Oct 2016 #2
Lines from the movie "High Society" (1956) Maeve Oct 2016 #10
Isn't that Philadelphia Story? Jimmy Stewart? yardwork Oct 2016 #15
Both. High Society was Grace Kelly's last pic Maeve Oct 2016 #17
I didn't know that! yardwork Oct 2016 #18
no, please, everyone qazplm Oct 2016 #3
+100 don't normalize it TXCritter Oct 2016 #4
I don't remember any such conversations. MineralMan Oct 2016 #5
It's important to note how his comments harm men too. nolabear Oct 2016 #6
I don't remember anything like that happening when I was in high school or college. LiberalFighter Oct 2016 #9
Not a man, or ever in a mens' locker room but I know all men are not like Dumpster. lonestarnot Oct 2016 #11
As a woman I'm not an expert either but I've heard plenty of lewd conversations before and Cakes488 Oct 2016 #12
No. tgards79 Oct 2016 #13
I'm asexual and never talked about anyone that way LostOne4Ever Oct 2016 #14
Yes, it will always be that way too. JRLeft Oct 2016 #16
Some do, some don't. We cannot pretend this is a small group, because it is not. Rex Oct 2016 #19
Not in any of that I was in Dem2 Oct 2016 #20
I've heard worse, once in one locker room. kwassa Oct 2016 #21
As a straight guy who was into athletics... Frank Cannon Oct 2016 #22

lapfog_1

(29,205 posts)
1. I have been in many locker rooms
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 10:52 AM
Oct 2016

starting in middle school.

For 12 year olds... you might hear stuff like what Donald said. Maybe.

But from 15 on... I have never heard of this sort of conversation. Ever. And certainly not from a 59 year old man.

dsc

(52,162 posts)
7. I was in PE until a sophomore in high school
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 11:02 AM
Oct 2016

and got called the usual names a person who people think is gay gets called but this notion of assault women being bragged about is a bridge too far.

GulfCoast66

(11,949 posts)
2. I am straight
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 10:58 AM
Oct 2016

Somewhat athletic and 50.

Was in a fraternity. I never heard anything like that.

In our fraternity days we had a rule that if a girl got passed out drunk she was not allowed to be taken into a bedroom. Some if the men(boys really) stayed with her till we called someone to take her home. I realize not all are like that, but even in my young conservative years I would not stand for sex abuse. Or those who found it funny.

It is really a mind boggling statement.

Maeve

(42,282 posts)
10. Lines from the movie "High Society" (1956)
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 11:09 AM
Oct 2016

Mike: Mr Kittredge, it may interest you to know that our so-called affair consisted of exactly two kisses and one rather late swim both of which I thoroughly enjoyed and the memory of which I wouldn't part with for anything. After which I returned here, carried her to her room, deposited her on her bed and promptly returned here which you will no doubt remember.

George Kittredge: That's all?

Mike: That's all.

Tracy: Why? Was I so cold? So forbidding?

Mike: Not at all. On the contrary but you were somewhat the worse or the better for the wine and there are rules about such things.

Maeve

(42,282 posts)
17. Both. High Society was Grace Kelly's last pic
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 12:36 PM
Oct 2016

A musical version of Philladelphia Story set in Newport with Frank Sinatra in Jimmy Stewart's role (Bing Crosby as the ex-husband and music by Louis Armstrong and band)

qazplm

(3,626 posts)
3. no, please, everyone
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 10:58 AM
Oct 2016

don't let those idiots normalize this BS.

MOST men are not rapists or sexual assaulters. They don't condone it, or joke about it, or think it's funny.

MineralMan

(146,317 posts)
5. I don't remember any such conversations.
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 11:01 AM
Oct 2016

Guys could be somewhat crude, but not to that degree. Even in high school, any girl you mentioned was likely to be some other guy's girlfriend. It simply wasn't done.

nolabear

(41,986 posts)
6. It's important to note how his comments harm men too.
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 11:02 AM
Oct 2016

We women only have men's words for what you say about us when we aren't there. Those comments have done real harm to the trust between us. Y'all need to protect one another from this garbage too!

LiberalFighter

(50,946 posts)
9. I don't remember anything like that happening when I was in high school or college.
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 11:08 AM
Oct 2016

I was just an equipment manager but pretty sure their focus was the specific sport. Never heard any such talk on bus rides, van rides, or on a rec vehicle to events either.

 

lonestarnot

(77,097 posts)
11. Not a man, or ever in a mens' locker room but I know all men are not like Dumpster.
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 11:09 AM
Oct 2016

He has a sick sexual deal with his own daughter. He is a nasty thing.

 

Cakes488

(874 posts)
12. As a woman I'm not an expert either but I've heard plenty of lewd conversations before and
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 11:12 AM
Oct 2016

have taken part in them but the difference is there is no hints of assault ...there is no way I would let that go. For me using dirty words or crude talk is not the problem...it's him using his position of power to just "take" and intimidate.

There is a big difference (to me) that if someone says "I was slamming that pu$$Y" OK that is just crude and
"I grabbed and took that pu$$y" big big difference in my mind.

And if I offend anyone I'll just say in now ...I applegize

tgards79

(1,415 posts)
13. No.
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 11:39 AM
Oct 2016

Was a jock in high school and college, played varsity sports in each. Never heard anything remotely this graphic. Not really even close. And that was among 16-22 year olds. Certainly in adult life (and I am 50+) nothing even remotely like this. Most men do not even talk about this general subject with other men. They tend to talk about sports, politics, cars, investments, real estate, wine, etc.

LostOne4Ever

(9,289 posts)
14. I'm asexual and never talked about anyone that way
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 11:53 AM
Oct 2016

[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=#00009d]But do remember people who talked that way back in junior and high school. I never got along with those type of people and kept a distance.[/font]

 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
19. Some do, some don't. We cannot pretend this is a small group, because it is not.
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 12:40 PM
Oct 2016

Rape is a real crisis on this planet, it is sad that it took Trump for people to realize that.

Dem2

(8,168 posts)
20. Not in any of that I was in
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 12:43 PM
Oct 2016

Rude things about women's bodies and boasting about one's encounters, yes. Many of the encounters were imagined too.

kwassa

(23,340 posts)
21. I've heard worse, once in one locker room.
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 12:55 PM
Oct 2016

two big loud sexist assholes. Early 20s, bragging about the women that they had sex with, and then dumped.

Frank Cannon

(7,570 posts)
22. As a straight guy who was into athletics...
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 01:04 PM
Oct 2016

I assure you that bragging about sexual assault was NEVER a topic of conversation. Frank discussion might be had about women we were with or wanted to be with, and what...ahem..."attributes" they had that we found particularly enticing, but it was never in a less than appreciative (and absolutely never violent) way.

I have known a few assclowns in my long years that talked like Trump. My associates and I always shunned these freaks and let them know how fucked up that is. And then we warned every woman in earshot to stay far, far away from them.

Latest Discussions»Retired Forums»2016 Postmortem»I admit that as a gay man...