in the Marines. Yes

Not the only time either.While it was always specifically what was described in the OP, it was one of several instances. I made a post about my experiences a couple months of so ago

I never reported it to anyone because it was so creepy.

One of the sad facts about incidents like this is that women (or men) often feel ashamed and embarrassed, which unfortunately keeps us silent.

Walking in the huge crowds that roamed the streets of Dallas back when the days were much wilder than they are now.
I was really shocked, but couldn't exactly tell who did it. My husband ( I married young) couldn't tell either, so we just kept walking.
I never forgot it though. It creeped me out, but didn't traumatize me or anything.

the first time was in a crowd and I never knew who did it.

The second time I ran after the guy and kicked him in the ass.

when I was a teen. I punched the SOB.

In fact at 53yrs old, visiting back home very recently, someone was motioning with his finger to come over to him. I knew this person. But he walked away before I got to him. I thought it odd. His friend that was still sitting there said to me, "he said he could make you come with one finger." I'm a 53yr old woman with children and these men in their late 40s.

So it still goes on and that's why it's no big deal for a lot of his supporters. It's their daily yucking it up. The women hear it and seem desensitized to it. It really is no big deal to many.

Who are ex jocks, and will not hesitate to comment on a cute woman, but never like that -- ugh how gross.

I remember that kind of crap back when I was growing up. In high school the guys talked like that a lot. And as a teen living in a small rural farm community, it was just part of the talk. Sometimes it stung when it was directed at me. But that was long in my past.

Then I go back for a visit and it's still happening and when it was directed at me, all I felt in my mind was, ewwww and what?

It only makes it seem like the practice is widespread, which might give some sick men the idea that they should try it, too.

The things Trump said are unacceptable, period. They do not represent the kind of society we want to have, and they do not belong in a presidential campaign.

It is much more widespread than people would like to believe.

Of course they do not represent the kind of society we want to have, but we are talking about the society we have right now. Rape culture is still thriving.

Trump is the GOP nom. It is our society.

Most headlines just mention "lewd language" -- I don;t even care he used pussy. Every headline should say he admitted to being a serial sexual assaulter of women.

I wish at least the title didn't use the word Trump used. It kind of minimizes what is being talked about. Why not say, "Grabbed by the genitals"?

You are the one wanting this minimized for some odd, concerned reason.

Not me.

I hate the use of that word. I have cringed repeatedly in the past couple days because of it.

However, it is important to talk about this right now and I think the emphasis on the word is making it impossible for the usual detractors to defend a major political party candidate and make light of sexual assault. As an activist I think it's important to highlight exactly what is going on right now. Those are the exact words as he spoke them and it needs to be shown exactly what he means and who he is. And his buddies were going along with him... so yeah, it's bigger than just Trump. Ten's of millions of women are now speaking up.

this is why i am using it publicly

You helped me realize that what bothers me about this thread is not the fact that it reveals of the prevalence of sexual assault but that it uses the very words of Donald Trump. If the OP had been titled "Post here if you have been sexually assaulted by the likes of Donald Trump", I wouldn't have been bothered by it. I can now see that what bothers me about this thread and more generally by the airing of the tapes is the implied objectification of women, which is intrinsic in the words and expressions Donald Trump uses to refer to and describe women. Although I agree heartily that it's important to state that what Donald Trump has admitted to is sexual assault, I'm not sure it's possible to use Trump's words without also objectifying women.

Which you just did. For shame.

And, it IS widespread. Every women I know well enough to tell me has told me they have had this happen to then, as a child, a teen, a woman.

We DO live in this kind of society. If we didn;t, he wouldn;t be the GOP nom.

I suppose stating one's opinion is not acceptable for others. Only your opinion matters. Discussing other people's opinions in a calm and civilized manner without insulting them and shaming them is not an option.

You have an agenda in this thread, and I'm not biting any more.

I did not tell you to hide anything; I just said I thought -- thought -- this was a bad idea, and I explained why I thought it was a bad idea. You could have responded with logic, civility, and understanding, but instead you chose to attack me and ascribe all sorts of motives to me.

I am sorry for the abuse you may have suffered, but being nasty to other women for daring to momentarily disagree with you is not a quality I admire. Welcome to ignore.

Thanks for your concern.

Nothing can make it seem like this behavior is widespread. Because it is widespread. Happens more often than is comfortable to think about. Bet you know tons of women who have been assaulted to varying degrees and you will never ever be aware of it. We don't volunteer this information.

Have you seen @kellyoxford on Twitter. It will positively astound you!

If a man is sick enough to try it, then this thread is not going to be the inspiration.

Another reason you've been one of my fav posters for years.

I am starting to think that it may have happened to me, too. I was grabbed twice, but I was quite young, and I blocked out the memory so that I don't remember precisely where I was grabbed. Immediately after posting that this never happened to me, I remembered that it probably did happen. I'm just not 100% certain.

Even talking about this publicly in this forum makes me very uncomfortable. It makes me feel like just stating it is going to give men the idea that this is OK, and that it will happen to more girls. This is why I was very disturbed by the Trump tapes. Then again, I guess Hillary's campaign is revealing the depth of the misogyny that is in our society, just as Barack Obama's presidency revealed the depth of the racism. And that can only be a good thing in the long run.

Your reaction to this thread seems understandable to me. Please consider reaching out to a therapist so that you get some support. It's possible that memories will come back now.

Every time I type something about having been abused, I start shaking uncontrollably, so I think you're right. I've been undergoing therapy for years, to deal with the consequences of non-sexual abuse from two people who should have played a care-giving role. There were only three instances when the abuse became sexual, and I always thought it was no big deal because I wasn't raped. (I don't mean I thought in general that sexual abuse was no big deal unless it was rape, just that in my case it seemed like no big deal because it didn't go as far as rape.) The worst abuse was non-sexual; half of it I didn't even recognize as abuse, and the other half I blocked out for many years (I knew what had happened but minimized its importance and, over time, forgot the details). I was surprised by how confidently I stated earlier in the thread that "this never happened to me", only to remember that it probably did. I'm starting to think that there was always at least obliquely a sexual aspect to the abuse from one of my two abusers. I will discuss this with my therapist the next time I speak to her. It's weird how after years of therapy one can still have wounds that one has not even begun to process.

The irony is that just a week or so ago, I was telling another woman here on DU who had been sexually abused but was minimizing the consequences that she was repressing her feelings about the abuse. And the whole time, I've been doing the same thing myself!

...but where have you been?

It IS widespread, my dear, and just as much so as when I was in my teens and 20s. There is a very accepted rape culture in this country, in 2016. Both women and MEN need to address it head on and work to eradicate it.

There are a good deal of honorable, loving men in this country. And then there are the Donald Trumps.

Let's not clutch our pearls and try to pretend that Trump is the exception. He's not.

I wouldn't do this, I'd like to think none of my friends would do this. But while I knew catcalling and worse goes on, it wouldn't have occurred to me that this might be common.

Because while I can see idiots thinking that name calling was okay (obviously it's not), I would have hoped that going to the level of actually grabbing somebody would be out of bounds. Clearly I was wrong, but I learned that it's not so uncommon.

who tell other woman to keep the experience quiet because they harbor multiple fears about talking about it.

It's better to talk about it.

And uh huh. It's happened to me. I hit the guy. It was back in the days when that was considered an unreasonable response by the woman because "boys will be boys."

I simply expressed a worry that this kind of thread makes it seem like it's OK for men to do this. It was not a well-thought-out argument, which is why those on DU who come here just to attack others took advantage of it to flame me. I should know by now that this is not a place for discussion.

I am still not convinced that all these revelations by women about having been "grabbed" by their "pussies" will not lead to more abuse. The words are the very words an abuser uses and don't express the seriousness of what is being discussed. That was my point, which of course will not be discussed because it's so much more satisfying to flame someone than to address their concerns.

If the thread had been titled, "Post here if you have ever been sexually assaulted", I would have had no objection. But flame away. Apparently, it just feels too good to resist!

your opinion about it. I think it is our squeamishness about talking about abuse that has kept us ignorant of how widespread it is and has kept us vulnerable to it.

That is not flaming you. That is disagreeing with you. It is directly addressing your point and disagreeing with it. That is what discussion is.

You seem to be indicating that your definition of discussion is limited to a conversation that addresses your concerns. That's not how it works, and it's no one's job here to address your concerns.

In fact, I like disagreement because civil disagreement is the way in which we can get somewhere. If you look above at some of the other replies to my post, you will see one or two places where an actual discussion is taking place.

But you are not disagreeing; you are attacking. All you've done so far is put words in my mouth and claim I said things I did not say, while ignoring all the things I did say. This is a debate tactic used by those who are more interested in winning the debate than in arriving at a conclusion by putting everyone's ideas together.

I did not say that a discussion is limited to a conversation that addresses my concerns. But when someone expresses a concern and you attack them and put words in their mouth, the one thing you are not doing is having a discussion. This last post continues to attack by putting more words in my mouth. Thanks for demonstrating my point beautifully.

I have enjoyed your posts in the past, but I don't appreciate people who cannot disagree with someone without attacking them. So I'm sorry, but you are going to my ignore list. Feel free to keep insisting that I'm the one who doesn't know how to have a discussion, and insult me as much as you like. If it didn't feel good, people wouldn't do it, and who am I to tell people to stop doing something that makes them feel so good?

I kept it a secret way to long.

Consider yourself fortunate.

Most of us haven't been. In one way or another, we've been degraded from being ignored or talked over to the foul remark to physical assault.

We've been pretending it's the way of world or excusing it for far too long. Silence implies consent.

I'm glad it's never happened to you, but that means you have no idea how degrading it is and how bringing it out into the light helps. Evidently you prefer people to keep these experiences buried in shame. Trump and his ilk count on that.

than there are male crotch grabbers -- because men who do this tend to be serial offenders.

But that isn't an argument for the women to stay silent.

White Castles. He knocked on my front door to deliver them. I was leery and wouldn't let him in my house. But he pawed me on my front porch. Didn't report it and just went on working with him for the next few years.

He got smacked in the head with a heavy beer mug.

If Trump tried it with me I know where I would kick him.

it was a second job, on weekends, because i was making 50¢ more than minimum wage, working 50 hours, and still couldnt make ends meet. i was a single mother of a 2 yo. (and btw, she was pretty damaged by those days.)

the uniform was a black blazer, black hose, and no pants.
shirts were pretty much optional, and the women who wore next to nothing under their blazers got the best tips.

grabs by the public were rare, and dealt w sternly.
among "the family", the help, the bands, the regulars, not so much. not to say it was always unwelcome. it wasnt. but it was done by surprise often, and therefore, w no consent.

it was a grind, and i didnt survive it for long. i went on to better work from there. got an apprenticeship as a carpenter.
that's a whole nother basket of deplorables.

You don't have to be a female to not appreciate some total f****** stranger grabbing you in the crotch.

Which is why I used the thread title I did.

I never said men don't have their genitals grabbed.

Because it's usually an act of power, dominance or plain criminal perversion - I agree that they're not the same, just felt like posting something.

Felt like I should say more anyway.

It was my first job out of high school. Boss calls me into his office and tells me to come around his desk. You could see the hardon with some moisture staining his pants. 'Look what you do to me.'
I was shocked and did t know what to do - I was an extremely naive person at that time. I made some sort of excuse and got out of the office pronto. Stayed away from him after.
Back then, you didn't make waves. I needed the job since I was living on my own. Now I look back and just say ewwww.
I have heard so many stories about girls who were abused and raped by sleazy employers and who had no recourse because of lack of jobs.
I detest people like Trump.

And it didn't stop at just the grabbing part.

The first incident I recall was when I was 15 and one of my father's business partners trapped me and grabbed my crotch at a crowded xmas party with my parents in the next room. I froze. I hated myself, but it made me stronger.

to leer and make suggestive comments and there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it. In the early '80s I worked in a large hoity-toity law firm (I was a recent law grad), and was assigned to a department headed up by a youngish (late '30s) partner who was one of the most piggish men I've ever known. Everybody knew to keep clear of him at events like the Christmas party (he mostly groped the secretaries), and he had the foulest mouth I've ever encountered. He'd say sexual stuff that would curl your hair (right out of the Trump glossary and then some), apparently hoping to get some kind of reaction. He was just disgusting, but if you complained to senior people all you'd get is, "That's just the way he is - ignore him."

I left the firm for other reasons after a few years but I just hated working with that guy. Ick.

How many of us scream and yell and protest? Not enough of us. That's what's sad about it.

Even I, at age 24 and a medical student at the time, didn't want to "make a scene" when I was groped on a public bus.

It is far more common to experience shock, embarrassment, and then try to pretend it never happened than to fight back.

Rape is a crisis on this planet. Wrongfully ignored by a man driven world. Trump is a perfect example of this.

And as American women, we are so much more fortunate than women in India, Iraq, Somalia, etc. Rape culture is completely acceptable in those countries.

It's not going away anytime soon, sad to say. Until the men in this country change the dialogue and work to educate their sons, women will suffer.

Another reason Hillary Clinton MUST be president. She is symbolic in so many, many ways.

A silver lining? She WILL be president.

I wasn't the only one in the neighborhood that was molested by this monster.

And during my service in the Navy. It's one of the reasons I made the decision to not re-enlist. It was brushed off like no big deal - just a sign off affection.

A high school boy grabbed my crotch as he walked by in the hall. I was shocked & didn't say a word. Same boy grabbed my breast a year later. Second time was by a co-worker at a Halloween party. He was a department manager! Not my manager, but still, a manager. And several incidents of inappropriate touching on the bus when it's crowded.

Could never even bring myself to watch the trailer.

Many times.

I'm still hesitant to talk about it here ever again after the last time I spoke up.

But, Yes.

Happened to me in Paris. I got off the train with my luggage and had to climb a flight of stairs. My mom was behind me and saw the dude coming at me and tried to warn me. He literally stuck his fingers right between my legs to go at me. I turned around and kicked him. He fell down several stairs.

About 20 years ago. The men felt it was their right. Yes, nearly all of them that I came across.

ETA. Should clarify, not nearly all men groped me, but it seemed that nearly all of them that I met felt that they were entitled to if they wanted.

in India. I believe Japan has also started doing that on trains and subways, too.

I was walking up the stairs and was grabbed from behind. I turned around and saw the asshole grinning at me. I starting running up the stairs with my cheeks burning with embarrassment. Jeez. I'm 56 years old and that memory still makes me want to cry.

The same for me. Horrible.

how common this experience is for women

Fortunately, the good men in this world who find that kind of behavior illegal, immoral and predatory, are just as appalled and disgusted as women are. These same men will defend and protect women if at all possible.

But the predators are out there and we women have to live with that. Deep down inside, I'd argue that most women fear men. And that's truly heartbreaking but the reality we live in even in 2016.

Like on nature programs when antelopes are grazing and lions are casually milling around, and you think, Oh, watch out for the lions! But the antelopes know when the lions are hunting and when they aren't, they're always wary, just in case.

You have to be aware of your surroundings at all times.

Just saw it posted on Twitter. Disgusting yet hilarious.

https://twitter.com/i/moments/785129381534597120

Just don't feel like going over it all again, but - yeah - honestly I'm glad to be 55 now because I seem to be safe now from the usual harassment. But oh Lord when I was 13-30....just got to the point where it was just part of life. Not a pleasant part, no, but ubiquitous.

I was trying to make my way through a crowd to the restroom. Suddenly, there was a hand in my crotch. It only lasted a few seconds and I had no way of telling whose arm the hand was attached to.

Once when I was a kid in a store, this old guy grabbed me there. And when I was in my 20's at a Halloween party this creep put his finger in me. I was not wearing a skimpy costume and was so upset I left the party early. The creep had a mask on so I didn't see his face.

grabbed, fondled, mauled or otherwise subjected to unwanted sexual contact of some kind. I'll bet that would make for a very short thread.

when some new guy walks up and starts talking to us. He's nice looking, very well dressed and groomed. When some of the others ere leaving he stepped right up to me and grabbed me by the crotch. I was so shocked, I just looked him in his soulless eyes for a second, before I pushed him hard in the chest with both hands and screamed at him, WTF are you doing? He tripped & fell on the floor, totally unprepared for my reaction. So glad his nice expensive tailored white jeans got fucked up, lol. Worst part was his creepy smile, he expected me to be ok with this
It's been over 30 years and still makes me angry and wish I had slapped him before I pushed him away, stupid rich asshole.

Thought his talk about his porsche and skiing in the alps was enough to get him anything he wanted.

to give him a blowjob at my job.

I was blown away.

I was 19 and there were 3 frat boys on the other side of the street at the crosswalk. When we got to the middle, the tallest one grabbed me - there. I swung around to hit him in the face with my fist but he just leaned back and laughed. I looked at the cars waiting at the crosswalk (it was a 3 lane one-way street) and no one was looking.
I was shook up but continued on to a job interview.

I have thought of that many times over the years and never knew it was a "thing" that happens so often. I plead guilty to harboring a contempt for frat boys to this day, some 40 years later.

We borrowed horses from one of his neighbors. The smelly, middle-aged neighbor boosted me into the saddle and grinned at my shock at having his hand suddenly groping between my legs. Lewd, craven, disgusting and deplorable. I said nothing, but I kept a wide berth and he sent invitations offering to allow me to ride his horse again through my little brother. A few years later he was convicted of molesting (they make it sound soft for juveniles; molestation is sexual assault) his 11-year-old niece and served several years in prison. When he was released he offended again.

This has gone on long enough. Too many of us (including me) took it in silence and embarrassment. Little girls should be taught at a young age that when someone grabs you intimately, you must shriek, push back, even punch back. They need to be READY to do it at an instant's notice, because it happens so fast most of us don't react in time. Make those men think they touched a hot stove.

A creep came up behind me and grabbed my breasts. This was in front of the CHURCH school we both attended.

By an 18 year old male babysitter at age 7.

I can imagine how awful that must have been.

I was assaulted by my employer - as I was riding with him back from the worksite he unzipped his pants, grabbed me and pushed my face into his crotch and told me to suck his dick and when I wouldnt he yelled at me to find another job - I never went back not even to get my pay. A family "friend" grabbed my breasts at my fathers funeral. Date rape - I could go on.

None of it was my fault, and none of it was OK. I was an average somewhat shy woman coming of agein the 70s.

If saying this is not ok is "politically correct," then sign me up. If this is "culture war" bring it on.

*sigh*

back in 04. He was married with 6 kids and 10 years younger than me. We'd been friends for years, partied at his house many times. One day he came over for some reason and we hugged, which we'd done many times, and he shoved his hand down the front of my pants! I nearly passed out from shock. I pushed him out the door and said, "Go home, you're drunk."

I didn't tell my husband for several months but it constantly bothered me. We never did go over there again and soon after we moved away. I will never understand what possessed him to do such a stupid thing.

はい。私の経験は私自身です。 ごめんなさい。

Calling me honey and babe and looking over my back down my breasts and making sexist comments all the time.

I think women are getting tired of letting bosses and men in power get away with this stuff.

I have had men in relationships grab me like that, always teasing but I don't think its funny.

While she was doing dishes, as a joke -- she turned around and punched him in the head, out of reflex -- she had been molested by a cousin who lived with her. He apologized to her.

Only touches me in a good way. We do joke and tease but not in a grabby way.

then onto my private parts.

One time it happened at a ballgame, and 2 male security guards witnessed it. They took the guy down. He was thrown out and I was apologized to by security and later by management in a written letter. I received a follow up phone call and tickets to the next few home games.

answering the question as worded because that is the wording that was used that makes the issue so offensive. No objection to it being used in this context.

I hurt the person who did this. Physically and intelligently.

And, good for you!