2016 Postmortem

EEO

(1,620 posts) Sat Jul 26, 2014, 10:49 PM Jul 2014

The Onion: Executioner Enters Lethal Injection Room With Bag From Home Depot

http://www.theonion.com/articles/executioner-enters-lethal-injection-room-with-bag,36546/

“This’ll be the first time I’m going with drain cleaner instead of bleach, so I’m really curious about how the guy’s going to react. I’ll kind of mix this stuff together and fill up a syringe with it and we’ll be good to go. I think 50 CC’s seems about right.” Callahan added that in the event the toxic concoction failed to kill the prisoner, he could always make a second trip to Home Depot and be back at the execution chamber in half an hour.

So close to the truth...

9 replies

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The Onion: Executioner Enters Lethal Injection Room With Bag From Home Depot (Original Post) EEO Jul 2014 OP

It'd funny if it weren't so true. n/t TDale313 Jul 2014 #1

The Onion nails it! burrowowl Jul 2014 #2

Ermugawd. Thanks gawd for da onjin. eom littlemissmartypants Jul 2014 #3

This makes me want to vomit Control-Z Jul 2014 #4

.. littlemissmartypants Jul 2014 #5

You ARE a smarty pants. longship Jul 2014 #6

Oh, come on... jmowreader Jul 2014 #7

I think we could save the gub'mint money by reducing the dosage by 1/2. Hoppy Jul 2014 #8

They may as well...the full dose doesn't seem to work all that well jmowreader Jul 2014 #9

TDale313

(7,820 posts)

1. It'd funny if it weren't so true. n/t

Reply to EEO (Original post)

Sat Jul 26, 2014, 10:52 PM

Jul 2014

burrowowl

(17,641 posts)

2. The Onion nails it!

Reply to EEO (Original post)

Sat Jul 26, 2014, 11:11 PM

Jul 2014

littlemissmartypants

(22,697 posts)

3. Ermugawd. Thanks gawd for da onjin. eom

Reply to EEO (Original post)

Sat Jul 26, 2014, 11:50 PM

Jul 2014

Control-Z

(15,682 posts)

4. This makes me want to vomit

Reply to EEO (Original post)

Sun Jul 27, 2014, 12:28 AM

Jul 2014

it is so damn close to the truth. Onion got it right.

K&R

littlemissmartypants

(22,697 posts)

5. ..

Reply to EEO (Original post)

Sun Jul 27, 2014, 12:57 AM

Jul 2014

Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.

Author Unknown

longship

(40,416 posts)

6. You ARE a smarty pants.

Reply to littlemissmartypants (Reply #5)

Sun Jul 27, 2014, 06:05 AM

Jul 2014

Good for you.

A big fan.

jmowreader

(50,560 posts)

7. Oh, come on...

Reply to EEO (Original post)

Sun Jul 27, 2014, 06:30 AM

Jul 2014

Five-gallon bucket.
One gallon bleach.
One gallon ammonia.
One gallon muriatic acid.
One gallon Drano.

Pour the four liquids into the bucket, shut the door, evacuate the entire prison, and call the nearest Army Chemical Corps unit because they're the only ones equipped to deal with the disaster you created. No injections needed. Not even cockroaches will survive these fumes.

Hoppy

(3,595 posts)

8. I think we could save the gub'mint money by reducing the dosage by 1/2.

Reply to jmowreader (Reply #7)

Sun Jul 27, 2014, 01:18 PM

Jul 2014

jmowreader

(50,560 posts)

9. They may as well...the full dose doesn't seem to work all that well

Reply to Hoppy (Reply #8)

Sun Jul 27, 2014, 06:48 PM

Jul 2014

New rule: if the guy isn't dead within 15 minutes, or if he shows any signs of suffering, he must be shot dead with a large-caliber handgun.

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