Eric Clapton Is Very Disappointed

The votes are in, and Green Day has won. The Green Day autographed guitar will go to one of our supporters.

Will it be you? I'm not sure. It's possible . . . .

Needless to say, Eric Clapton was very disappointed when I told him. "Hello, Old Friend," I greeted him. Clapton looked at me with those soulful "Blue Eyes Blue" he has, and simply said, "Tears in Heaven." "A River of Tears," I replied. "I Can't Stand It," he said, and not for the first time. But I assured Clapton that win or lose, he always will be everyone's "Forever Man." Forever.

I'm just glad that Clapton didn't get angry at me. I remember the time when he confessed to me: "I Shot the Sheriff." I sure didn't want to follow that sheriff, "Knockin' On Heaven's Door."

Anyway, for the many people who have Absolutely No Idea What I'm Talking About, former Warner Reprise Records Chief Howie Klein offered to give one of our supporters a single item from his awesome personal collection. We voted on it, the votes are now in, and the Green Day guitar got the most votes.

I'm talking about a Green Day guitar - a blue Squier Stratocaster -- autographed by all 3 members of the band. That's what I'm talking about.

And now, if you have not done so already, you MUST MUST MUST go to a special webpage that we have set up, called "I Wanna Rock and Roll", and make a contribution to our campaign. All the folks who do so this week will be eligible to receive the Green Day guitar. (As will anyone who sends an e-mail to [link:mailto:rockandroll@graysonforcongress.com|rockandroll@graysonforcongress.com].)

Let me be specific about this. If you are the lucky winner, not only will you receive this gorgeous autographed guitar, but also, you will never suffer from eczema, the grass on your lawn will mow itself, you will be either ten years younger or ten years older (you choose!), members of your preferred sex will find you extremely attractive, and you will never have to pay highway tolls again. Or maybe not, I'm not really sure. But you'll get the guitar, anyway.

So if you have not done so already, please go to our "I Wanna Rock and Roll" webpage RIGHT NOW, and drop a few drachmas into the pot.

Please don't keep our webpage waiting.

Courage,

Alan Grayson