WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she will dress up as a Walmart cashier for Halloween. Clinton declared her costume selection was meant to inform Americans she sat on Walmart's board of directors from 1986 to 1992, and was complicit in outsourcing American jobs to foreign sweatshops while she actively worked against labor unions.

Clinton continued, "Tonight is going to be a real hoot. Maybe I will even get a labor union endorsement while I am wearing my American wage-slave costume. These unions are such chumps, and can't be bothered to do a little research on my history at Walmart, never mind my ongoing close ties to the same financial institutions that nearly took down the economy in 2008."