Bernie Sanders Wins Middle School Dessert Poll!
http://www.newsyoushouldntbelieve.comby
Shuga Rush
Using a classic, proven polling strategy, 200 students at Johnson Middle School were polled on the Democratic Primary Race yesterday, using the selection of a dessert dish in their lunchroom as the voting method. All three Democratic presidential primary candidates were represented by a famous dessert from their home state.
Students passed by three tables, each with pre-plated desserts and with a cardboard cut-out of the candidate standing behind the table. Allowed to take just one dessert, they were asked to select their favorite, based on any criteria they chose. Results were tallied following the lunch hour. Here were the dessert choices presented by each candidate, in alphabetical order:
Hillary Clinton: The classic New York City dessert, a slice of cheesecake, was her entry in the poll.
Martin O'Malley: Indian corn pudding is a traditional dessert of Maryland, home of the former Governor.
Bernie Sanders: Chunky Monkey, a favorite of Vermont's Ben & Jerry's was Sanders' choice.
Results Show Sanders as Clear Leader
Of the 200 students participating, 150 (75%) chose the Chunky Monkey ice cream treat from Bernie Sanders, with one student commenting, "This stuff's the best!" 40 (20%) of the young teens chose Hillary Clinton's cheesecake option. Comments included, "Looks fluffy." The Indian corn pudding offering from O'Mally, had only 3 (~2%) takers, with one student commenting, "I don't even know what that is. Ugh!" 7 (~4%) passed by all three tables, opting to skip all dessert options, perhaps for dietary reasons or simply due to indecision or adolescent ennui.
The results are clear. Bernie Sanders is the obvious winner of this scientifically designed primary poll. With an overwhelming majority of students choosing his option, he clearly dominates the field. When translated to the national primary results, Bernie Sanders is the dominant choice as the nominee of the Democratic Party. The dessert poll at Johnson Middle School will be repeated for the general election, once candidates are known, and is likely to predict the ultimate outcome. The reliability of this poll in past elections has been spotty, however. Only time will tell.
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It's just business. 
means he will get a forced vacay soon.
But, there's no alert stalking by DU's right and Bernie's supporters are controlling all the juries. 
the republican democratic third-way of doing things. Nothing to see here.
I love the stuff!
My, dessert poll brings strong opinions.
x 10!!!! 
Cheesecakes are famed for being very rich, very white, and somewhat hard to swallow. They advertise themselves as being two things at once - cheese and cake - but really aren't either (they're technically a flan.) And there's a wide varieties of toppings and alterations that can be done to the base cheesecake to achieve totally different results, all of which are just as likely to result in gastric distress for many people.
Mmm. Cheesecake.
And since when is MD represented by CORN PUDDING? AKA Indian pudding....? That's a big dessert in MA, too, but we wouldn't want that as our "signature" dessert. I think MD should DEMAND a re-vote!!! That corn pudding is the equivalent of a hanging chad!!!!!!!!!!
In order of preference, my candidates are HRC, M'OM, and BS, but in order of DESSERTS, I'd take the ice cream first, the cheesecake second, and the doggone pudding last!
Only time will tell, indeed....!!!!!!!!!!
were just so ecstatic to post. Over and over and over and over again.
That was some top quality stuff there. EXTREMELY important and presidential. 
